Amy Reed
It’s hard to find true authenticity in a person these days. In fact, it’s even hard to notice it in yourself!
With so much going on in the world and so many new thoughts, feelings, and realizations happening every day, it’s easy to doubt yourself.
It’s easy to think you aren’t as genuine as you seem.
After all, how do you know if you actually like something or are just following the crowd? Or if you really are your own person?
If you recognize these 9 behaviors in yourself, it’s a giveaway. When you do these things, you’re authentically yourself – regardless of what other people think!
1) You wear your heart on your sleeve
First up, if you’re an authentic person, you aren’t afraid to say how you feel.
Some people see it as a bad thing to wear your heart on your sleeve. I remember in college once, a friend turned to me and said, “This world is going to eat you up”. She didn’t say it kindly.
Why did she say that? It was because I told people I liked them when I liked them. I expressed how I felt and wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable.
Being honest and genuine like this, regardless of what others think, isn’t wrong. It’s the most important display of authenticity!
Sadly, you might get hurt more often than your classmates or friends because of it. But you also get to experience more genuine, meaningful connections because of how you are – and there’s nothing bad about that!
2) You trust others freely
Understandably, a lot of people have trust issues these days. Bad things happen every day – to people you know, people you don’t know, and in your own life.
But even so, a rare few people don’t let the bad in this world impact their trust in others. They give their trust as freely as they can!
When a new hire starts at work, they give them the benefit of the doubt more than once. When dating, they don’t let their trust issues get in the way of saying how they feel.
Being this kind of person takes its toll though. You get hurt sometimes when people break your trust or take advantage of it. But you still maintain your faith in others regardless! It’s just who you are and what you believe is right.
3) You say no when you want to
It’s hard to say no sometimes. You could let someone down, disappoint them, or even lose a friend by saying no.
But saying yes when you want to say no only causes problems for you in the long run.
If you’re an authentic person, you know this. It’s why you say no to things even when you know it’ll upset someone.
Like if you were invited to a friend’s birthday meal. It might make them happy, but it’s going to leave you stretched for cash this month. Or lending a friend your essay might be helpful, but it’s against the rules and leaves you open to being plagiarized.
Even though people might call you names for going against the flow, following the rules, or doing what you want to do – you do it anyway.
4) You’re honest with yourself
Let’s be honest, it isn’t always easy to be honest with yourself – pun intended!
When you feel rejected, it’s easy to tell yourself you didn’t want it anyway. Or to say “I don’t care” when really you do.
It takes a lot of inner strength to be true to yourself and acknowledge how you really feel. It takes even more courage to say those words out loud to a friend!
When you’re honest with yourself, with no defensiveness, no little lies, and no sweeping things under the carpet, you’re as authentic as they come.
5) You own up to your mistakes
We all make mistakes. There’s no shame in making them, every slip-up helps us to learn and grow. But it’s hard to believe that sometimes, isn’t it?
When you’re a genuine person, you still try to own up to the mistakes you make.
No matter how hard it is, you say sorry when you need to. You put your hand up and say, “My bad!” when you step out of line.
People probably don’t like it when you make mistakes or fess up to them. They might even criticize you for apologizing for the things you’ve done wrong!
Some people struggle to accept your apology sometimes, too, I bet. They want to talk about it more or argue it out for a little longer.
But what other people think doesn’t matter to you. When you feel like an apology is best, you own up to what you did and say sorry.
6) You have the same persona with everyone
When I was in college, I had different versions of “me” for all my friends and classes. I even changed the way I texted certain people!
But this wasn’t very authentic behavior. After I left college, I realized that few people did what I did. So why was I doing it? Why did I mimic the way they texted or spoke?
People who stay true to themselves don’t do what I did in college. They are who they are and they own it. They talk the same, text the same, and are the same person no matter who they’re with.
They don’t care if that means they won’t fit in with certain crowds. Or if someone might comment on them for being different or liking different things!
7) You speak up for things you believe in
When I was younger, I remember hearing people gossip about others, spreading lies and rumors I knew weren’t true. I never spoke up – but some people did.
They stood up for others even though they had nothing to gain (and a lot to lose). They shared their views and stated the facts, even when they knew it would annoy the “cooler” crowd.
Thinking back, they didn’t even mind saying they liked or disliked things that others didn’t! Like when everyone else hated the movie, they said they enjoyed it rather than going along with what everyone else thought.
Basically, they didn’t care if they were different or branded “uncool” for liking certain things. They stayed unapologetically themselves, no matter what.
8) You value people over possessions
Genuine people hold value in a lot of things. They like their stuff, for sure. They own the fact that they like their stuff, too!
But mostly, they value bigger things. People, places, and experiences are way more special to them than their smartphones or branded footwear.
When you’re authentically yourself, you don’t worry too much about what you have or what that looks like to everyone else.
If you’re going to buy something or wear something, you do it because you want to – not because it’ll look good to someone else. If you’re going to hang out with someone, you do it because you like them, not because of who they are.
You value the kindness in others over what shoes they’re wearing. You value the experience you have with someone on their birthday over which venue you go to.
Essentially, you value the simple things in life over anything materialist.
9) You enjoy time alone
You might not believe this, but some people hate the idea of spending time alone. I know I used to! Being alone meant facing myself – and I didn’t like doing that.
When I was with other people, I could be whoever I wanted to be (i.e., not myself).
But you probably can’t relate to this at all if you’re an authentic person. In fact, you love your alone time!
The reason you love it so much is the exact reason I hated it: because you get to be authentically you.
You can wear what you want, style your hair how you want, do what you want, and think what you want. You don’t have to do anything anyone else wants to do.
You can just unapologetically yourself, and that’s your favorite thing to do. So why wouldn’t you love it?
Final thoughts
Living an authentic life isn’t always easy. I’m sure it’s led to some tough conversations and even confrontations!
But life is too short to doubt yourself. It’s also too short to pretend to be someone you’re not.
Some people won’t understand why you are the way you are. Some people might even criticize you for it, saying things like my friend did years ago (i.e., “The world is going to eat you up!”).
But you know the truth. You’re authentically you, regardless of what anyone else thinks. And that’s a brave, powerful, and courageous thing.
