Eliza Hartley
Some people realize, as they get older, that love isn’t all that matters.
There are bills to be paid, careers to be had…and so how they make decisions are based on them—even in choosing the people they marry.
But then there are those people who, despite their high ambitions and the many challenges in life, want a love that’s true.
They’re the ones who’d never settle for anything other than real love.
Want to know how to spot them?
You’ll recognize them right away because they often show these 9 distinct strengths.
1) They’re hopeful and idealistic
Those who get married for money or status are well-aware of what they’re doing.
But they justify their choices by saying “Well, life is hard. This is the right thing to do.”
Once upon a time, they also wanted to have it all—money, fame, and true love. But as they got older and “wiser”, they realized that the world doesn’t work that way.
“Use your head, not your heart”, they’d preach.
But the thing is that they’re actually not being “wise” by using love to get ahead in life.
What’s happening is that they simply lost hope in their ability to have it all…and so they compromised real love to get money or status.
Those who settle down for love, however, believe that they can still have it all—even if they’re already in their 40s or 50s or 60s.
Their real strength is their hope, and they have it because they have faith in the Universe, but most of all—in themselves.
2) They’re true to themselves
If the people who value real love remain true to themselves, they’d not settle for anything less.
They only want real love or nothing at all!
So even if someone as rich as Mark Zuckerberg would kiss their feet, if they’re not in love with them, they’d say no.
Even if someone as famous as Beyonce would give them a ring, if they’re not in love with them, they’d be flattered but they’d still say no.
And they won’t regret their decision for one second.
They prefer to always stay true to themselves by respecting their core values and principles.
3) They value genuine connections
And not just when it comes to romantic relationships.
They strive to look for and maintain genuine connections with people in general—from their neighbors to their friends.
They’d hang out with the ones who can truly understand them instead of the ones who can help them level up in their career.
They’d hang out with the ones who can truly make them laugh instead of the ones who have 500k followers.
Authentic relationships are something they value the most. And so of course, they’d never force any connection to someone just because they have money or fame.
4) They’re highly independent
Some people settle down with someone they don’t fancy just to be more secure.
And I’m not just talking about money.
Some settle down because they want all kinds of security that a relationship brings—financial, emotional, social…all that!
After all, it gets quite scary doing everything on your own especially if everyone we know is getting married or moving away.
Those people who say “no” to a loveless but practical relationship are the ones who’ve managed their fears on these grown-up concerns.
They realize that if they truly want to be financially secure, they have to work hard.
And if they have to be emotionally secure, they don’t need to cling on to anyone. All they have to do is go inward and be their own best friend.
You won’t ever see them settle for anything less because they can stand on their two feet just fine.
5) They’re not entitled
People who are all for real love don’t want to be treated like a prince or a princess. Or sure, they want but they won’t expect it from anyone!
It’s definitely not why they want to settle down.
They can do their princessing on their own, thank you very much.
That’s why they won’t marry anyone for their money.
Why would they when they know they won’t ask them for their money anyway? As far as they’re concerned, their partner’s money is theirs alone.
Even if they’re with Jeff Bezos or Oprah Winfrey, they wouldn’t ask them for anything.
Why?
They don’t want to make others feel they’re simply using them!
This is the reason why they don’t get impressed by people’s money or status. For a person who’s not entitled, they know they won’t benefit much from them anyway.
6) They strive for an authentic life
I have two aunties who married for money.
My parents told me to follow their footsteps because, according to them, they’re actually happier than those who married poor guys just for love.
They told me, half-jokingly, “You can just fall in love with any man especially if they have money.”
I got angry that they even said those things to me.
It’s not because I find them appalling. It’s because at that moment, I realized that they really don’t know me.
You see, I’m a person who’s always striving for an authentic life.
I want everything to be true and meaningful and pure.
And when it comes to love, I definitely want it to be real!
Fast-forward to ten years later, I heard news that my aunts are very unhappy because their partners cheated on them…and here I am with the love of my life and my authentic self intact.
7) They have integrity
People who settle down for real love and not for money or status want to live a life where their outside matches their inside.
They have strong moral principles and they’re honest—not just to others, but also to themselves.
And so if they want real love, they can never make decisions that go against that.
Doing so would make them feel like they’re betraying themself—and that’s something a person with integrity couldn’t stand.
They’d rather grow old alone than live a life that’s against the fundamental things they believe in.
8) They don’t take shortcuts
Many people like shortcuts. It’s not hard to see why.
It saves time!
Some of us take shortcuts in getting rich by stealing.
Some of us take shortcuts at work by being too friendly with the boss.
And yes, some of us take shortcuts in life by choosing to get married to someone who’s ultra rich and ultra famous even if we really don’t love them.
To be honest, I can’t blame them. Sometimes, we can’t help but say “Well, that’s how the world works, and you have to play well.”
But those who settle down for real love (and not for money or status) are often the people who say no to shortcuts—even if it’s right in front of them.
Why?
Because they have integrity and they believe that anything worthwhile requires effort.
9) They’re content
For a content person, status and money don’t mean a thing.
That’s why those who are content are often the ones who are able to find real love.
They’re not drawn to people who drive expensive cars.
They’re not mesmerized by celebrities.
Those things are cool, but it’s not what they’re looking for in a partner.
They’re looking for real connection, compatibility, and that special something that can make them feel life is worth living.
They’re looking for their person…their other half. Someone who’s a real friend of their soul.
And they can usually find them because they don’t have much need for anything else!
Final thoughts
Are you dating someone who displays all of these traits?
Then you’re lucky.
They definitely won’t see your relationship as a way to “level up”. It’s simply against their principles.
You can be sure that what they want is true love, and that what they’ll give you is true love, too.
And if this is you, and you’re still single, don’t ever think you’re foolish for wanting true love.
It will come, I promise you. And your love will be as genuine as you.
