Ava Sinclair
There’s a fine line between healthy competition and secret hostility.
It’s one thing to have a rival who openly challenges you, it’s entirely different when someone secretly hopes for your downfall.
Not everyone cheering you on genuinely wants to see you succeed as, sometimes, envy or hidden insecurities lead people to quietly root for your failure.
People who secretly want to see you fail are often skilled in masking their true intentions—but they usually display certain subtle behaviors that give them away.
If you’re wondering who truly has your back, watch out for these 7 subtle behaviors that reveal someone secretly hoping you don’t succeed:
1) They seldom celebrate your successes
Competition can be healthy, but these individuals often have a hard time hiding their disappointment when you achieve something—their silence or lack of enthusiasm speaks volumes.
If you’re promoted at work or have a personal win and they don’t express sincere joy for you, it could be a red flag.
People who genuinely care about your well-being will celebrate your achievements with you.
If they don’t, they might just be hoping for your downfall.
2) They’re quick to highlight your failures
In my personal experience, I had a friend who was always the first to point out when I made a mistake: It was subtle, almost under the guise of ‘constructive criticism’, but it never felt quite right.
For example, I remember when I was preparing for a big presentation at work.
I was nervous and had shared my apprehensions with this friend, and instead of offering encouragement or advice, they kept pointing out areas where I could potentially fail.
They would say things like, “Are you sure you can handle such a big responsibility? Remember what happened last time?”
It felt like they were poking at old wounds instead of helping me focus on improving.
It took me a while to realize that this behavior was not normal and certainly not friendly.
Constructive criticism is important, but there’s a difference between being helpful and constantly highlighting someone’s failures.
3) They tend to downplay your ambitions
Dreams and ambitions are a significant part of our lives.
The right support can fuel our desire to pursue these dreams, whereas naysayers can dampen our spirits.
Individuals who secretly want you to fail often have a knack for downplaying your ambitions.
They may make offhand comments that make your goals seem unrealistic or far-fetched.
For instance, if you express a desire to start your own business, they might casually remark how more than half of all new businesses fail within the first year.
Instead of offering support or advice, their comments seem aimed at discouraging you or sowing seeds of doubt.
While it’s true that starting a business comes with risks, the focus of their response is telling.
4) They rarely offer genuine help
True friends and well-wishers genuinely want to see you succeed.
They’ll offer their help when you need it—lending an ear when you need to vent, providing advice when you’re stuck, or even extending a helping hand to ease your burden.
But those who secretly want you to fail? They rarely offer genuine help.
Their assistance often comes with strings attached or it seems half-hearted, and they may constantly make excuses for why they can’t be there for you, or when they do help, it feels insincere or minimal.
5) They tend to gossip about your setbacks
I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone who listens to your problems is your friend.
Once, I confided in a colleague about a project I was struggling with: Instead of offering support, they shared my struggles with other team members behind my back.
I found out when one of these team members approached me with unsolicited advice about the project.
It was a hard pill to swallow as I had assumed my colleague was sympathetic to my situation, but they seemed more interested in spreading the news about my difficulties.
Someone who consistently gossips about your setbacks might suggest they take pleasure in your struggles rather than wishing for your success.
6) They’re noticeably absent during your hardships
Life has its ups and downs—during those down moments, we often lean on our friends and loved ones for support.
It’s during these times that true colors are revealed.
People who secretly wish for your failure tend to be noticeably absent during your hardships.
They may offer vague condolences or sympathy, but they rarely stick around to help you through the tough times—making excuses to avoid supporting you, or simply disappearing until your crisis has passed.
This absence can be very telling, especially if they’re usually present during the good times.
7) They often display signs of envy
Envy is an emotion that can reveal a lot about a person’s intentions.
Those who secretly want to see you fail often display signs of envy as they may show resentment or bitterness when you achieve something they desire.
Their envy can come out in subtle ways—a sarcastic comment here, a backhanded compliment there, or an unexplained coldness when you share your achievements.
Envy is not always easy to spot, but it’s a powerful indicator of someone’s hidden intentions.
Final thoughts: It’s about empathy
Understanding human behavior is complex; the subtle signs we’ve explored may reveal individuals who secretly hope for your failure.
Often, these actions stem from personal insecurities, fear, or low self-esteem.
Such individuals might be grappling with their own struggles, which influence how they relate to others.
The famous quote by Socrates comes to mind, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Recognizing these behaviors is not about creating enemies or holding grudges.
It’s about fostering empathy, setting healthy boundaries, and focusing on personal growth.
In the end, the most vital success is staying true to yourself and maintaining your integrity, regardless of the intentions of others around you.
