People who remain compassionate even after they’ve been deeply hurt often display these 9 unique strengths

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Getting hurt deeply can sometimes cast long shadows on our hearts, making it difficult to remain compassionate. But there are some unique individuals who manage to keep their kindness intact, even after being wounded emotionally.

The difference lies in strength. Those who stay compassionate despite their pain have a distinctive set of strengths that sets them apart.

Being compassionate after being hurt isn’t a sign of weakness, but a testament to one’s resilience. And these people often exhibit certain characteristics that showcase their inner power.

Below are nine unique strengths often displayed by people who remain compassionate even after they’ve been deeply hurt. Let’s take a closer look.

1) Embracing forgiveness

One of the hallmarks of those who remain compassionate after being deeply hurt is their capacity for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not about forgetting or condoning the hurtful actions of others. It’s about making a conscious decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.

It is often said that forgiveness is more for the person doing the forgiving than for the person being forgiven. This is because holding onto anger and resentment can be more damaging to us than to the person who caused the pain.

By choosing forgiveness, they’re not only demonstrating their strength but also freeing themselves from the burden of bitterness. They’re choosing peace over pain, love over hate.

2) Acknowledging vulnerability

In my own journey, I’ve discovered the transformative power of embracing vulnerability.

A few years ago, I faced a situation where someone I cared about deeply hurt me. At first, I was tempted to shut down and protect myself from further pain. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the answer.

Instead of hiding my feelings, I decided to confront my vulnerability head-on. It wasn’t easy—but in doing so, I felt a sense of liberation.

Acknowledging vulnerability isn’t about seeking pity or playing the victim. It’s about being real with yourself and others about your experiences and emotions. It’s about showing the world that despite being hurt, you’re still standing strong.

Those who maintain compassion after enduring pain often possess this same quality. They’re not afraid to acknowledge their vulnerability because they understand that it’s a natural part of being human. This honesty lays the groundwork for healing and personal growth, allowing them to continue extending compassion even in the face of adversity.

3) Practicing empathy

Sometimes, what doesn’t kill you makes you kinder.

Interestingly, studies have shown that experiencing personal adversity can enhance one’s ability to empathize with others. This is because experiencing pain can make us more attuned to the suffering of others.

People who have been deeply hurt but remain compassionate are often very empathetic. They can put themselves in other people’s shoes, feel their pain, and respond with kindness and understanding.

Empathy helps them connect with others on a deeper level, fostering stronger relationships. It also enables them to turn their personal pain into a source of compassion for others. 

4) Building resilience

Resilience is a fundamental strength that allows people who’ve been deeply hurt to remain compassionate. It’s the ability to bounce back from adversity, to adapt and move forward in the face of hardship.

These individuals understand that life is a series of highs and lows. They don’t let the painful experiences define them or dictate their future. Instead, they view these experiences as lessons, opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

Their resilience? It’s what keeps them spreading love, showing kindness, and staying true to themselves, no matter what life throws their way.

5) Cultivating self-compassion

Self-compassion is another unique strength of those who remain compassionate after being deeply hurt. It’s about being kind to oneself, acknowledging one’s own pain and responding to it with care and understanding.

They don’t berate themselves for feeling hurt or upset. Instead, they treat themselves with the same kindness and understanding they would offer a friend in the same situation.

By cultivating self-compassion, they’re able to heal their wounds and continue to show kindness to others. They’re affirming their worth and letting their compassion extend inward, which in turn allows it to flow outward more freely.

6) Choosing love over fear

Love and fear are two powerful emotions that can dictate how we relate to others. When we’re hurt, the natural instinct may be to retreat, to let fear take over. Fear can build walls, foster distrust and harden hearts.

But those who remain compassionate after deep pain make a different choice. They choose love. Not because it’s easy, but because they believe in its transformative power.

Even when faced with pain, they choose to respond with love, to keep their hearts open, and to continue treating others with kindness and understanding. Their choice isn’t just brave; it’s a testament to their strength and their unwavering belief in the power of compassion.

7) Maintaining a positive outlook

During a particularly challenging period in my life, I found that maintaining a positive outlook was crucial in helping me stay compassionate.

Life had dealt me a rough hand, and it felt like my world was crumbling. But amidst the chaos, I chose to focus on the silver linings. I held on to hope and allowed it to guide me through the darkness.

People who remain compassionate after being deeply hurt often have this unique strength. They choose to see the glass as half full, not half empty. This positive outlook helps them heal, grow, and continue to show kindness and compassion to others, even when they themselves are hurting.

8) Exercising patience

Patience is another unique strength commonly found in people who remain compassionate after being deeply hurt. They understand that healing takes time and that it’s okay to move at their own pace.

These folks don’t push themselves to heal quickly or expect instant fixes. Instead, they give themselves the time they need to process their feelings, to mourn, and to gradually find their way back to wholeness.

And it’s not just with themselves—they’re patient with others too, knowing that everyone’s dealing with their own stuff. Their patience helps them navigate the ups and downs of healing with grace and still extend kindness to others, even when they’re hurting inside.

9) Prioritizing self-care

One of the key strengths often seen in those who maintain compassion despite enduring deep pain is their dedication to self-care. They recognize that in order to keep giving to others, they must first nurture themselves.

These individuals highly value their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They engage in activities that replenish their spirit and bring them happiness. Whether it’s through meditation, staying active, or simply enjoying the outdoors, they make sure to prioritize self-care.

By tending to their own needs, they ensure they have the energy and compassion to continue supporting others. After all, it’s only when we’re in a good place ourselves that we can truly be there for those around us.

Reflection: The power of compassion

As we journey through life’s twists and turns, it’s important to recognize the incredible power of compassion. It’s not just a good quality to have; it’s like a special energy that can turn tough times into love, challenges into strength, and hurt into healing.

The amazing people who keep showing kindness even when they’ve been hurt don’t let their pain stop them. Instead, they use it to understand others better and to care more deeply.

Their special strengths, like forgiving others and being honest about their feelings, aren’t just for them—they’re lessons for all of us. They show us that it’s okay to feel hurt sometimes, and that we can learn and grow from those tough moments.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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