Isabella Chase
We all encounter people who seem to only think about themselves. It’s a frustrating experience, right?
The thing is, these self-centered individuals often aren’t even aware of their behavior. They just act on impulse, driven by their own needs and wants, oblivious to the impact they have on others.
The good news? These people typically exhibit certain behaviors that can act as red flags. By identifying these signs, we can better understand their mindset and learn how to interact with them effectively.
In this article, I’m going to share 8 behaviors that people who only think of themselves usually display, often without even realizing it.
1) Constant self-reference
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who only seems to talk about themselves?
If you’ve encountered a person who constantly refers back to their own experiences, achievements, or problems, then you might be dealing with someone who thinks primarily of themselves.
This is a common trait. It’s not always a sign of deliberate selfishness. Often, these individuals simply don’t realize that their constant self-focus can come across as self-centered to others.
They may not intentionally be seeking to dominate the conversation, they’re just so wrapped up in their own world that they fail to consider the interests and feelings of the people around them.
So next time you’re in a conversation with someone who consistently circles back to their own experiences or views, remember this could be an indication that they chiefly think of themselves.
2) Lack of interest in others
I remember a friend I used to have, let’s call her Jane. Every time we met up, she would talk non-stop about her life, her problems, her achievements. But the moment I tried to share something about my own life, she would lose interest.
Jane rarely asked about my wellbeing or showed any genuine curiosity about what was happening in my life. It felt as if our conversations were always one-sided.
This kind of behavior is an example of a person who thinks mostly about themselves. They are so absorbed in their own world that they fail to show genuine interest in other people’s lives or experiences.
If you’ve ever met someone like Jane, then you’ve probably encountered someone who primarily thinks about themselves.
3) Difficulty in sharing or giving
People who predominantly think of themselves often have a hard time sharing or giving to others. This isn’t limited to material possessions, but extends to time, attention, and emotional support as well.
Psychologists have found a correlation between selfish behaviors and a lack of empathy. This lack of empathy often causes people to struggle with the concept of sharing, as they find it hard to understand or value the needs and feelings of others.
So, if you notice someone consistently struggles with sharing or giving, there’s a good chance they are more focused on themselves than on others.
4) Frequent interruptions
Ever been in a conversation where the other person constantly interrupts you? It’s frustrating and often a clear sign of someone who primarily thinks about themselves.
Interrupting others is a sign of disregard for their thoughts and opinions. It’s as if they’re saying, “My thoughts are more important than yours.”
This behavior often stems from a lack of awareness or consideration for others. If you notice someone frequently interrupts conversations to steer them back towards their own experiences or opinions, they might be more self-focused than they realize.
5) Neglecting others’ feelings
It’s a heart-wrenching feeling when someone you care about neglects your emotions. If you’re upset and they dismiss your feelings or focus back on their own, it can really hurt.
People who primarily think of themselves often overlook others’ feelings. They’re so engrossed in their own emotions that they fail to acknowledge or validate the feelings of those around them.
This lack of emotional awareness can strain relationships and create a sense of isolation. If someone consistently neglects your feelings, it could be a sign they are more self-absorbed than they realize.
6) Lack of appreciation
A while back, I helped a colleague with a project. I stayed up late, skipped meals, and put in extra effort to make sure everything was perfect. After all the hard work, the project was a success. But despite all my efforts, my colleague never acknowledged my contribution.
That stung. It’s hard not to feel taken for granted when your efforts go unappreciated.
People who mostly think of themselves often forget to express gratitude or acknowledge the efforts of others. Their focus is so much on their own accomplishments that they overlook the contributions of those around them. If someone consistently fails to express appreciation for your efforts, they might be more self-focused than they realize.
7) Overcompetitiveness
People who primarily think of themselves often exhibit an intense need to win or be the best at everything. They view life as a competition and are constantly trying to outdo others.
This overcompetitiveness can manifest in various ways, from a constant need to have the last word in a debate, to a relentless drive to outperform others at work or in social settings.
While a healthy level of competition can be a positive motivator, an excessive need to be the best often indicates a self-centered mindset. If you notice someone displaying this behavior, they might be more focused on themselves than they realize.
8) Lack of empathy
Perhaps the most telling sign of someone who primarily thinks of themselves is a lack of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s fundamental to forming meaningful connections with people.
Without empathy, it’s hard to step outside of oneself and consider others’ perspectives or feelings. People who lack empathy often struggle to form deep, meaningful relationships because they’re too focused on their own experiences.
If someone consistently fails to show empathy towards others, this could be a clear indication that they’re more self-focused than they realize.
A deeper understanding
Reflecting on these behaviors can give us profound insights into human nature and how people function. These patterns aren’t necessarily indicative of a person’s character, but more likely a reflection of their focus at a given moment or period in their life.
It’s important to remember that everyone has the capacity for self-centered behavior at times. Life experiences, circumstances, and even our biochemistry can influence this.
Psychology tells us that self-centered behavior may be linked to the human survival instinct. It’s a part of our nature. But as social beings, we’ve also evolved to care for others, to empathize and collaborate.
Recognizing these behaviors in others (and ourselves) is the first step towards understanding and empathy. It’s an opportunity for growth, for patience, and ultimately, for compassion. As we navigate through life and its relationships, this understanding can be a powerful tool.
In the end, it’s not about labeling or judging people as ‘self-centered’, but about understanding the complexities of human behavior. It’s about learning to respond with empathy and promoting a culture of mutual respect and consideration.
