Roselle Umlas
It’s not a secret that the world is designed for extroverts. With all the social gatherings and networking events we have to attend, there’s no doubt that being naturally outgoing and charismatic is an advantage.
But did you know that thriving in social situations isn’t a simple matter of extroversion vs. introversion?
That’s right – what it ultimately comes down to is your communication skills.
As an introvert, I admit that socializing doesn’t hold as much allure for me as it does for my extrovert friends. But what I’ve discovered is that there are certain communication techniques that can make you feel more at ease in social settings.
And maybe even thrive!
So today, I’m sharing how you can do that. Here are 6 communication skills that people who shine in social situations have mastered:
1) Know your audience
Do you know the very first thing practically anyone whose life revolves around human interaction does?
They take the time to know their audience.
For performers and speakers, the audience is the people who have paid good money to support them.
For business and salespeople, it’s the target market or client. And believe me, a ton of research goes into this aspect of communication.
Why? Because understanding who you’re talking to shapes the way you communicate. It helps you edit what you say so you don’t make a social faux pas or an inappropriate joke.
If you’re at a wedding, for example, you wouldn’t talk about divisive topics like politics or religion. Instead, you’d focus on easy or even joyful topics that bring people together. You want to keep the mood celebratory, right?
On the other hand, if you’re at a business conference, you’d tailor your conversation to industry trends, professional insights, and networking opportunities.
If you know your audience, you can steer the conversation in a direction that feels natural and engaging for everyone involved. You can make them feel relaxed around you. And that’s half the job done!
2) Harnessing the power of body language
Speaking of making people feel comfortable with you, did you know that your body language plays a huge role?
Without even saying a word yet, great communicators can inspire confidence and trust in others. Here are the non-verbal ways they do that:
- Maintain friendly eye contact
- Stand or sit confidently
- Use open and responsive facial expressions
- Keep their arms and hands open
- Nod their head to show they’re paying attention
And of course, they aren’t stingy with genuine smiles!
3) Being truly interested in the other person
I don’t know about you, but one of the things I hate most in social situations is talking to someone who isn’t really interested in what I – or others – have to say.
You know the type – the people who’d ask, “How’s it going?” but then look elsewhere while you answer.
Or people who pretend to listen to your story then jump right back in with something totally unrelated…which gives you the feeling that they weren’t really listening. They were simply waiting for their turn to speak.
People who shine in social situations have mastered the art of active listening. This skill is one of the simplest to do, yet many people don’t do it.
Look, it doesn’t take a lot of effort, really.
To be an active listener, you simply need to be genuinely interested in people.
This is what makes you fully present in a conversation, truly hearing their answers and asking open-ended questions to know more.
Essentially, if you want to excel in social situations, you need to learn how to listen to understand rather than to respond. That way, the people you talk to will come away feeling seen and heard.
This brings me to the next point…
4) Listening and interacting without judgment
I once went to a dinner party full of successful women. Everyone was dressed to the nines, complete with designer bags and shoes.
Meanwhile, there I was in a simple dress and my trusty yet nameless handbag. I felt completely out of place and self-conscious, wondering if anyone would even talk to me.
But then, one of the women approached me with a warm smile. She introduced herself and struck up a conversation. She asked about my interests and experiences, without a hint of judgment about my appearance.
By the end of the night, she’d introduced me to a lot of other people, and I went home feeling like, yeah, that was a good time right there.
You might have had your own version of this, maybe a conversation where you expressed an opinion and didn’t get judged for it.
People who can listen without judgment definitely thrive in social situations. They create a safe space where people feel comfortable, heard, and appreciated. That’s what will make them open up and share more of themselves.
5) Stating opinions confidently without offending anyone
Following on from that, people who thrive in social situations have also mastered the very tricky art of expressing their opinions confidently.
I say it’s tricky because you never know when something you say could offend others. Especially now that we live in a very easily offended society!
One wrong word or misunderstood joke, and suddenly, you’re dealing with a lot of hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
But here’s the thing: you can express your opinions confidently without ruffling feathers. What’s the secret?
It’s really quite simple – it all has to do with tone and delivery. The key is to frame your thoughts in a way that’s respectful and open-minded.
For me, it always helps to start with something gentle, like “In my experience…” or “I feel that…”
It softens the delivery because it emphasizes that I’m just sharing about my experience. I’m not insisting on it as fact.
That way, people get the idea that I’m open to dialogue and all kinds of perspectives.
6) They regulate their emotions
Let’s face it – you might be the most respectful person on earth, but that’s no guarantee that the person you’re speaking to will be just as respectful.
In almost every social situation, there will be one or two jerks who are rude, inattentive, arrogant, disruptive, etc.
And as someone who’s had her fair share of such jerks, I’d say that curbing the urge to punch the lights out of them has really helped me be more socially savvy.
After all, we can’t control other people, can we? All we can do is control ourselves.
People who thrive in social situations know this very well. So, they’re all about self-regulation. They have the emotional intelligence to handle less-than-stellar social interactions in a calm and patient way.
Final thoughts
As you can see, anybody – whether they’re an extrovert or introvert – can thrive in social situations, as long as they have these six communication skills.
If socializing is an area you struggle with, I’d suggest cultivating genuine interest as a starting point.
When you’re truly interested in getting to know someone, everything else will eventually happen naturally. You’ll listen better and you’ll be more open-minded.
And best of all, you won’t have to pretend. You’ll actually have a fun time hanging out with people. Even your body language will naturally show it!
