Iām sure you know this by now ā we humans are the only species on the planet that have the capacity to seek, find, and create meaning.
The other animals are happy just to wake up, scrounge or hunt for food, and thatās it.
But us? Weāve got a long list of requirements to be happy and fulfilled in life. And a sense of meaning is right at the top of the list.
When we donāt have it, we feel uncertain, lost, or worse ā apathetic. Running on autopilot. We do things just because they need to be done, but we donāt really see, or maybe even care, why.
Do you feel like that? Like youāre just going through the motions and like something important is missing? If so, you might be lacking a sense of meaning or purpose.
Here are 10 behaviors people who lack meaning in their lives often display without even realizing it. Hopefully, they donāt resonate with you.
But if they do, then thatās still good news ā it means youāve arrived at the starting point for a fresh chapter in your life.
Letās dive in!
1) They are perpetually bored
First up, people who lack meaning in life have a case of chronic boredom. They donāt feel any passion or excitement for anything.
Now donāt get me wrong ā I think that boredom can benefit us in many ways. In fact, neuroscientists say that letting yourself be bored from time to time is good for your brain.
As a writer, I actually strive to have a bit of boredom in my life because itās useful in many ways:
- I use it as a time to process my thoughts and emotions
- Boredom helps cleanse my mind and leave it open for creative thinking
- It gives us a chance to be curious ā when Iāve got nothing to do, Iām free to indulge in exploring whatever tickles my fancy
- It improves self-control ā being bored isnāt a pleasant feeling; I learn how to regulate myself emotionally to be able to deal with it
But ā thereās a distinction between plain old boredom (keyword: from time to time) and chronic boredom. Chronic boredom is a more persistent state, where youāre just disinterested in everything. In all aspects of life.
Thatās a clear sign that youāre not finding any meaning in your life.
2) They are constantly restless
Even while theyāre constantly moving, people who lack a sense of meaning could feel a sense of restlessness.
Some might have a desire to jump from one job to another. Or move from one state to another. Flit from relationship to relationship.
Anything, really, to shake things up.
Just like boredom, I find restlessness to be useful. Unpleasant, yes, but useful just the same.
Because itās a wakeup call. Whenever I get a sense of restlessness, especially if itās been going on for a while, I take it as a cue that what Iām doing no longer feels meaningful.
That I need something new or something more.
If you view it that way, then restlessness can be a behavior that moves you towards self-reflection. Ask yourself, āWhat am I truly seeking in life? What am I missing?ā
You just might be surprised at what it can reveal. It could lead you to an examination of how your life currently aligns with your core values.
Once you see where the disconnect is, you can then redirect to get yourself on a path that suits the current version of yourself better.
3) They overindulge in escapism
We all enjoy an occasional escape from reality. Some of us enjoy getting lost in a book or in a few episodes of a gripping TV show. Some go out for a night of drinking or clubbing.
Others are happy to just dive into the rabbit hole of social media for half an hour or so.
But people who lack a sense of meaning take it to the next level. These folks literally disappear ā into the bottom of a glass, into a TV or phone screen, into the hallucinating embrace of drugs.
Think about it ā if your real life holds a lot of meaning, why would you want to escape it day after day?
4) They neglect self-care
Similarly, when life feels meaningless, taking care of our health often takes a back seat.
Someone who lacks meaning in life might not necessarily engage in extreme escapist moves like the ones I mentioned above.
But if they do things like skip meals, neglect exercise, or let stress overwhelm them, that points to how they see life as just something to wade through mindlessly.
In contrast, people who lead meaningful lives know just how important it is to take care of themselves. They know theyāve got a lot to do, and without a healthy mind and body, it would be hard to achieve those goals.
When we feel good physically and mentally, we’re in a better position to find and pursue what gives our life meaning. Itās that simple.
5) They lack long-term goals
For people who lack meaning in life, itās hard enough to get their head out of their current state, much less think about the future.
After all, whatās the point in it ā itās all meaningless, right? Thatās how the thought pattern goes.
The thing is, without goals, thereās no chance for life to hold any sort of meaning. Without goals, weāre merely existing.
As an example, Iād like to share psychologist Viktor Franklās take in his book, āManās Search for Meaning.ā
The setting: a concentration camp during World War II. If there ever was a place where life would feel devoid of meaning, it would be that.
But Frankl was able to endure it because he set a goal for himself ā to observe his fellow prisoners and tell the world what happened. To investigate what exactly makes a person endure hardship.
I found it so meta, actually. Here was a man trying to prove his point that a search for meaning is what fuels us to endure, and this very act was what made him endure as well.
All that to say that Frankl was right ā setting goals, or even just one goal, is proof that one wants a meaningful life.
In short, no goals = no meaning.
6) They have superficial relationships
Obviously, a lack of meaning in life can lead a person to feel lost. Thereās a lot of emotions involved there ā shame, stress, fear of judgment, and more.
With such emotional turmoil inside, itās easy to understand why one would want to keep other people at armās length.
For example, when I was going through such a time in my life, I withdrew from my relationships.
I didnāt want people to keep asking me what was going on. I didnāt want to admit that my life felt meaningless. I didnāt want to open up and risk being judged or dismissed.
Truth to tell, I didnāt have the emotional bandwidth to deal with all of that. So I tried to keep everything light and fluffy.
On the surface, I mightāve appeared okay, but inside, I felt incredibly lonely. And it was nobodyās fault but my own, as I wasnāt willing to be vulnerable.
Real talk ā cultivating deeper relationships requires effort and vulnerability. For someone whoās struggling with a sense of meaning, these two requirements can be hard to give.
As a resultā¦
7) They feel disconnected from the world
Like I mentioned earlier, lacking a sense of meaning in life can lead to a sense of loneliness. You feel disconnected from everyone.
For me, it was a feeling like, how come the world goes on spinning and everyoneās walking about, moving around, knowing where theyāre going? Yet here I am, stuck and feeling like itās all pointless?
Basically, it felt like I was in a snow globe watching the world pass me by.
And I have to admit, when youāre in such a state, you canāt help but feel envious or resentful of those people whoāve got their act together.
Which brings me to my next pointā¦
8) They have persistent feelings of envy or resentment
It’s natural to feel envious or resentful occasionally. But it becomes a sign that one is lacking meaning in life when the emotions cross over from occasional to constant.
Sometimes, they could even become angry at the world.
Thatās because, as I described earlier, it feels a lot like being on the outside. Youāre looking at othersā lives through a lens of what you think is missing. The focus is on the negative.
Fortunately, I found my way back by volunteering. As lost and resentful as I was, I at least knew that one of the best ways to find meaning is in service to others. That knowledge really helped me because it gave me a single reason to get out of bed.
Sometimes, thatās enough, you know. Even just one connection with something bigger than us is enough to remind us that we have something valuable to contribute.
9) They avoid self-reflection
Lastly, people who lack a sense of meaning in life are forgetting (or maybe ignoring?) one crucial step in finding meaning ā self-reflection.
Look, as the name implies, any self-improvement journey begins with the self.
Until you know what you truly want out of life, what your values are, what makes your heart sing and makes you feel useful, then itās just treading water.
A lot of movement with zero distance covered. Just enough effort to keep your head afloat.
So, again, ask yourself the tough questions. Cut through the noise and negative self-talk. Assess your strengths and weaknesses honestly.
The answers you get can make your path clearer. At the very least, it can give you some clarity on what to keep and what to cut out of your life so that every move you make feels meaningful.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, āAll life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.ā
Itās true, isnāt it? Thereās no one formula that works, but as long as youāve got goals that speak to your heart, youāll eventually hit your stride.