Adrian Volenik
We all know a person or two that’s kind of awkward when you talk to them or who doesn’t fit well within bigger groups of people.
Have you ever wondered what’s up with that? Or if you’re that person, have you wondered why you’re like that?
There could be many reasons. For instance, you could be an introvert. But you could also lack emotional intelligence, and that’s how we’re approaching this topic today.
So, if you want to learn what social blunders people who lack emotional intelligence often make, keep on reading.
1) Making insensitive jokes or comments
People with low emotional intelligence don’t seem to recognize when a joke crosses a line or targets sensitive subjects.
Such jokes can be hurtful and damage relationships, especially if the person they unknowingly offended feels disrespected or misunderstood.
In their mind, everyone has the same sense of humor they do, and they can’t understand that not every joke they make is funny to others.
Apart from insensitive jokes, they also often make comments that are unintentionally hurtful.
Again, they don’t realize how their words can impact others, which often results in strained relationships and misunderstandings.
I have a cousin who’s like that, and it still baffles me how he can come up with such gross and insensitive things to say.
Needless to say, he’s not my favorite. But, on the other side, I probably think of him the most. It’s funny how that works.
2) Being self-centered
When you have emotional intelligence (EQ), you’re self-aware and don’t think the world revolves around you.
However, those who lack EQ often focus on their needs, feelings, and experiences, neglecting to show interest in other people’s lives.
They always find a way to talk about their own things, even when a conversation is about something else.
For example, if a friend is discussing what they recently accomplished, the self-centered person will interject with their own achievements.
This self-centered behavior results in one-sided relationships where the other person doesn’t feel valued or heard.
Ultimately, people with low EQ find themselves with fewer and fewer people they can turn to.
3) Interrupting others
Some people who lack emotional intelligence tend to interrupt conversations frequently. They don’t see this as disrespectful and how much it affects communication.
It’s infuriating talking to such a person. Luckily, I didn’t have many conversations where the person I was talking to was constantly interrupting me.
This basic social etiquette is one of the many important things parents teach their young children.
4) Dismissing other people’s opinions
Another cringe and negative thing low EQ people do is dismiss other people’s opinions.
When someone shares an idea, they respond with something like, “That won’t work; it’s a stupid idea,” without giving it fair consideration.
Dismissing or invalidating someone’s opinions or even views is destructive to relationships. Co-workers, friends, and even family start keeping their distance.
That’s why having emotional intelligence is so important. Because of it, you respect diverse viewpoints and engage in constructive dialogue instead of rejecting other people’s ideas outright.
5) Disregarding feelings
The same I just said we can apply to disregarding other people’s feelings. You see, these people often ignore, miss, or downplay the emotions of those around them.
They tell them they’re overreacting or that it’s not a big deal, brushing off their feelings. They don’t understand that people want their emotions to be acknowledged and respected.
Interacting with others is all about empathy, understanding, and sharing in others’ emotions. People without EQ simply struggle to empathize with others.
It’s challenging for them to provide comfort and support during difficult times to other people.
And without empathy, there are no strong and meaningful connections.
6) Ignoring non-verbal cues
When you’re emotionally intelligent, you can easily pick up on non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
On the other hand, when you fail to notice these cues, you end up with misunderstandings and miscommunications because a lot of human communication is non-verbal.
For instance, a brief look of surprise or anger can be missed by people with low EQ, preventing them from understanding what’s really going on emotionally with the person they’re talking to.
I remember having a co-worker who was oblivious to all non-verbal cues. He also worked as a sales assistant, and this meant he ended up in many awkward and (for the rest of us) funny situations.
7) Not listening actively
We all know how important active listening is, right? I’d argue that it’s more important than ever because I notice most people have one eye on their phone when they’re talking to others.
I catch myself doing this at times, too, and I quickly have to remind myself how rude it is.
When you’re listening actively, you’re fully concentrating, understanding, and responding to what someone is saying.
People with low emotional intelligence might physically be present, but mentally, they’re elsewhere during conversations. And again, this makes others feel unimportant and unheard.
8) Overreacting
While some people underreact, people with low EQ tend to overreact to situations, making small issues seem much more significant than they are.
This is another great way to cause unnecessary stress and conflict in relationships.
I’m not saying they’re drama queens, but they’re also not far from it.
9) Being judgmental
I don’t think there’s a person who isn’t at least a little bit prejudiced or judgemental. And that’s why making quick judgments without understanding someone’s perspective is a common pitfall, especially for people with low or no EQ.
It’s important to keep any judgment for yourself and take the time to understand the factors influencing other people’s decisions and actions.
10) Taking things personally
Another thing people with low emotional intelligence do is that they often take criticism or feedback personally.
They interpret constructive comments as personal attacks, which results in defensiveness and troubled relationships with other people.
In personal relationships, if their partner has a bad day and is irritable, they might take it personally, thinking they’re the cause of their partner’s mood, even when it’s unrelated to them.
And during family events, if a relative makes a sarcastic or critical remark, they assume it’s directed at them personally, leading to tension.
11) Not being able to compromise
Healthy relationships often require compromise, where both parties meet in the middle. On the other hand, people lacking EQ find it difficult to compromise, resulting in power struggles and disputes.
There could be other reasons, like stubbornness and thinking they’re always right. These “qualities” can often be found in people with low emotional intelligence.
It’s certainly a deadly combination, isn’t it? And I have to say, unusually many people like that congregate around a certain US ex-president.
And here’s another thing they’re often guilty of:
12) Ignoring boundaries
When you have emotional intelligence, you recognize and respect personal boundaries. You don’t think of crossing that boundary if it isn’t absolutely necessary.
But people lacking EQ invade personal space, ask intrusive questions, or disregard other people’s privacy.
They initiate physical contact, like hugging or touching, without considering whether the other person is comfortable with it.
They also ask probing questions about someone’s financial situation, such as their income or debts. Or they openly share personal information or secrets about others without their consent.
In any case, it’s a hell of a situation to find yourself in.
13) Failing to apologize
When you don’t think you did something wrong, chances are you aren’t going to apologize for it.
And that’s a huge problem for people with low EQ. They don’t think they did anything wrong and, therefore, won’t apologize to other people. They simply find it challenging to admit their mistakes and apologize.
That’s why their relationships of all kinds can suffer. This, in turn, makes them feel misunderstood.
Final thoughts
Making social mistakes isn’t the end of the world. As long as you learn something from them.
If you don’t, you’re often marginalized and shunned, and you feel misunderstood and think that everyone else is the problem.
In that case, you need to develop self-awareness, reflect on your emotions and behaviors more, and empathize with others.
