People who keep their social media on private and never overshare usually have these 19 traits

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Ever been guilty of social media stalking?

I don’t mean the obsessive type. 

It’s more of the “I’m curious about this person, so let me check out their social media” kind of thing.

So we do. 

But then we’re greeted with “This account is private” or “Profile locked.” 

It’s both disappointing and intriguing, leaving us asking more questions, like, “What are they hiding”?

But here’s the thing:

There probably isn’t anything to hide. Their social media on lockdown is just a matter of personal preference.

That said, there are common traits shared by people who keep their social media profiles private, and we’ll look into 19 of them in the following list.

Let’s go!

1) They value privacy

Let’s start with the most obvious:

People who put their social media on private mode do so because they value privacy.

They believe not every aspect of their lives needs to be in the public domain.

So if you’re not part of their family or intimate circle of friends, spare yourself from the disappointment of sending them a friend, follow, or connect request.

Let me tell you now:

They won’t accept it.

2) They’re family oriented

If they value their privacy, you can guarantee they’d take their family’s privacy seriously just as much.

They keep their accounts private to protect their loved ones, being mindful of the potential risks and implications of sharing personal family moments online. 

I personally think this is an often overlooked facet of social media. 

Uploading adorable photos of our kids can become second nature, but we forget the danger of having them up for public consumption.

So when they choose privacy over posts and silence over sharing, they’re making a bold statement that their family’s privacy comes first.

3) They’re respectful of others

It’s not only about their family, but also about others in their wider circle.

People who respect others’ privacy and boundaries will naturally apply the same principles to their own social media usage. 

They understand that oversharing can sometimes put others in an uncomfortable position, so they maintain a private social media presence.

They do this to ensure they do not overstep or inadvertently share information about someone that was not theirs to share in the first place.

4) They’re selectively social

You will find that most people who limit their social media activity are also the same people who keep a small circle of friends offline.

It’s not about being snobbish or exclusive. 

It’s more about their desire for authentic connections

They’re all about those heart-to-heart talks rather than the hearts, likes, and comments on social media, so they’re not that active online.

5) They’re image conscious

Someone too concerned about their image understands that their posts can significantly influence their personal and professional reputations.

This image-consciousness is their motivation to maintain a low profile on social media.

They carefully curate what they share to ensure that it all aligns with how they wish to be seen by the world.

6) They’re security conscious

It probably goes without saying that security-conscious individuals know all too well the risks associated with oversharing online:

Identity theft, cyberbullying, privacy invasion, just to name a few.

So it makes sense that they keep their social accounts super private and keep their posts extremely limited, if any.

7) They’re self-assured

When you’re self-assured, you don’t rely on external validation because you can find that from within.

You couldn’t care less about likes or comments on social media, so you don’t feel the need to seek affirmation from others by posting about your life choices or experiences.

You know that the most authentic form of self-acknowledgment doesn’t require a digital platform to be validated.

8) They’re introspective

Introspective people want to reflect on and process their thoughts and emotions privately, and social media is obviously not the right platform for that. 

While others use Facebook or Instagram as a form of expression and their digital memoir, introspective people prefer to go old school – by keeping personal journals and photo albums.

9) They’re emotionally mature

Social media can sometimes be overwhelming and have a negative impact on one’s mental health, thanks to the constant comparisons and the pressure to present a perfect life.

Emotionally mature people are aware of these traps and may choose to limit their engagement to safeguard their emotional well-being.

10) They’re skeptical of social media

Like we said, social media is full of portrayals of the “perfect life” and skeptics know and see this more than anyone. 

That’s why they don’t take every post at face value. They’re often cynical, wondering what’s being left out of the frame. 

This questioning attitude means they’re cautious about what they share and with whom. 

It’s not about being negative. It’s more about keeping it real, both online and off.

11) They value authenticity

Speaking of people who like to keep it real, they’re sadly often the ones who feel out of place on social media. 


Again, it all boils down to social media being a breeding ground for fakery, something that authentic people are allergic to.

And that’s why they limit their social media as well as who and what’s on it. 

They want to make sure that their online image really shows their authentic selves and only to the authentic people in their lives.

12) They’re thoughtful

Thoughtful people take their time to think about the impact of their actions both in the digital and real worlds.

When it comes to social media, they know that it can be difficult to take back whatever they share on it and that’s why they don’t just post anything. 

They carefully choose what they put out there to ensure their online presence is deliberate and meaningful.

13) They’re prudent

Aside from their thoughtfulness, their prudence also plays a role in their careful consideration of the long-term implications of what they share.

They know the permanence of digital content.

And that’s why they’re cautious about what they post – they don’t want to be in a position where they’ll regret it in the future.

14) They’re patient

Whether we admit it or not, a lot of us tend to be trigger happy on social media.

Captured an instagrammable shot? Post it now.

Caught a candid moment of your loved ones? It’s going into your stories instantly.

That’s what makes patient people different

They allow these moments to marinate before they decide if and how to share them.

Their patience serves as their buffer against impulsivity, and hence, from oversharing. 

15) They’re focused on personal growth

People who are big on personal growth often keep their social media private and don’t share too much. 

Here’s why: 

They’re more interested in improving themselves in real life than curating a perfect image online. 

By keeping their socials private, they can focus on what really matters to them without the noise and distractions of social media. 

16) They’re passionate about life 

Life enthusiasts live in the moment rather than through their screens.

They believe in experiencing life fully and personally rather than keeping every moment posted on social media.

They’re the ones dancing in concerts with their hands in the air, rather than having their phones in their hands, focused on broadcasting the moment live on their social media feeds.

17) They’re not a fan of drama

People who don’t like drama tend to keep their social media private. 

They don’t share too much because they don’t want to deal with the negativity that results online. 

We all know how even the most positive posts can stir negativity from toxic keyboard warriors, right?

When they’re on social media, they simply want to scroll in peace – drama and stress-free.

18) They’re mindful

Intentional is one word that describes mindful people

And that applies to their social media engagement, too.

They won’t allow themselves to be easily consumed by social media, so they take a minimalistic approach to it. 

They share sparingly and purposefully, making sure that their online activity is thoughtful and reflective of their values.

They don’t use social media as a distraction. 

Instead, they treat it as a medium to connect meaningfully with others.

19) They’re tech-savvy

Contrary to popular notion, being tech-savvy doesn’t always translate to active social media use.

And it’s logical if you really think about it:

They know more than anyone about the security and privacy risks associated with digital platforms, which is why they tend to have the most secure and private online interactions.

They’re online enough to know when it’s time to go offline.

The takeaway

If this list has taught us anything, it’s that social media privacy is not just about being secretive.

It’s about setting boundaries, valuing personal space, and remembering that not everything needs a like or a share. 

Ultimately, your online presence is your choice – you make the call whether you want it public, private, or somewhere in between.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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