People who hurt others but always play the victim often display these 8 subtle behaviors

When someone hurts you, it’s clear they’ve crossed a line. When they cry about it, you’d think they’re remorseful.

But that’s not always the case.

People are complicated, their behaviors even more so. It’s tricky to decipher when someone is genuinely sorry or just playing the victim.

There are, however, those who’ve mastered this art of detection. They’ve recognized certain subtle behaviors common among individuals who hurt others yet always portray themselves as the victim.

Here, we explore these tell-tale signs in more detail.

1) Shifting blame is their second nature

We all make mistakes, and it’s part of being human.

But, here’s the catch. 

When someone constantly hurts others, but never admits their wrongdoings, it’s a red flag. They’re experts in the blame game, always finding someone else to pin their misdeeds on.

It’s like they’ve got a cloak of innocence that they wrap around themselves, becoming the victim in every story. A misplaced comment, a hurtful action – it’s never their fault, according to them.

They transform from perpetrator to victim so seamlessly that you might start doubting your own understanding of the situation.

But if you pay close attention, you’ll notice this pattern. And once you do, it’s hard to unsee it.

This subtle behavior is one of the key signs that you’re dealing with someone who hurts others but always plays the victim. 

Keep an eye out for this, and you’ll be one step closer to understanding their game.

2) They are masters of emotional manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a form of psychological control used to influence others. And trust me, I’ve had my fair share of it.

Take my former friend, for example.

At first glance, she was a sweet, charming and seemingly innocent individual, but as our friendship deepened, I started noticing a pattern.

Every time she hurt someone, she would cleverly twist the narrative, shedding tears and painting herself as the victim.

I remember this one time when she spread a rumor about a mutual friend, and when confronted, cried about being misunderstood and targeted. Instead of owning up to her mistakes, she manipulated the situation to appear as the victim.

Over time, I realized that this was her way of deflecting blame and evading consequences. And let me tell you, it’s a tough reality to swallow, knowing that someone you trusted is capable of such manipulation.

So if you notice someone frequently using emotions to control situations or people, tread lightly. It could be a sign you’re dealing with someone who hurts others but always plays the victim.

3) Their apologies lack sincerity

Apologies can mend broken bridges and heal wounds. But for those who hurt others and play the victim, apologies are nothing more than a tool to maintain control.

You see, these individuals often offer apologies that are hollow, lacking remorse or a genuine intention to change.

Their apologies often contain a lot of “I’m sorry, but…” statements, subtly shifting the blame back onto you or the situation.

Insincere apologies can actually do more harm than good, leading to further conflict down the line.

4) They are masters of turning the tables

Ever been in a situation where you’re upset with someone, but somehow, by the end of the conversation, you’re the one comforting them? If so, you’ve experienced the classic table-turning tactic.

Those who hurt others and play the victim are experts at this strategy. 

Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they’ll redirect the focus onto their own feelings or problems. They play on your sympathies and guilt to divert attention away from their harmful behavior.

It’s a clever manipulation tactic that can leave you feeling confused and questioning your own feelings and reactions.

So if you find yourself frequently consoling someone when you’re the one who’s been hurt, it’s time to reassess the situation. You could be dealing with someone who’s an expert at playing the victim.

5) They are often the center of drama

In my experience, I’ve noticed that those who hurt others and always play the victim tend to be at the center of drama quite often.

It’s almost as if they thrive on it. They create situations that stir up trouble, only to later paint themselves as the misunderstood protagonist.

I once knew someone like this. If there wasn’t any drama, they’d create it. I realized over time that this was their way of seeking attention and sympathy from others. 

By being the victim in every story, they managed to keep the focus on themselves, cleverly diverting attention away from their own wrongdoings.

6) They display an unexpected kindness

Kindness is generally a virtue, but in the hands of those who hurt others and play the victim, it can be a tool for manipulation.

Such individuals often display bursts of kindness and generosity that seem out of character. They may shower you with compliments, give thoughtful gifts, or extend help when you least expect it.

While this might seem like a positive trait, it’s often calculated. This behavior serves to confuse their targets, making it harder for them to believe that this person could be capable of causing harm.

It’s a classic smokescreen tactic – a way to distract from their harmful behavior and reinforce their role as the ‘victim’. 

7) They have a knack for playing on your guilt

Guilt is a powerful emotion, and those who hurt others and play the victim know just how to exploit it.

They have a knack for making you feel guilty, even when you’re not at fault. They’ll twist situations, use emotional language, and employ victim-like behavior to make you feel like the ‘bad guy’.

This tactic is particularly effective because it makes you second-guess yourself. You might start questioning your actions and judgment, allowing them to continue their manipulative behavior unchecked.

8) They resist taking responsibility for their actions

At the core of all these behaviors is a simple, yet significant trait – an inability to take responsibility for their actions.

Those who hurt others and play the victim are often characterized by a persistent refusal to accept their faults. They dodge accountability, always finding ways to justify their behavior or shift the blame onto others.

This unwillingness to accept responsibility is not just a sign of immaturity, but also a key characteristic of those who manipulate others and play the victim.

Recognizing this pattern can empower you to see through their tactics and protect yourself from further harm.

Understanding is the first step towards change

If you’ve come this far, hopefully, you’ve gained a deeper understanding of the complex behaviors exhibited by those who hurt others yet always play the victim.

Recognizing these signs is not about labeling or judging individuals, but rather about understanding human behavior in all its complexity. It’s about self-protection and fostering healthier relationships.

Everyone has the capacity for change. It starts with awareness, then understanding, and finally acceptance of one’s actions.

By identifying these subtle behaviors, we arm ourselves with knowledge and can make informed decisions about the relationships in our lives.

So as we close this discussion, I urge you to reflect on these points. Understand them, use them as a guide, but most importantly, use them as a tool to navigate the intricate maze of human relationships.

Because sometimes, understanding is not just the first step towards change – it’s the only step.