Justin Brown
Self-respect isn’t something we wear on our sleeve, but it quietly shapes how we navigate life.
It influences the choices we make, the relationships we maintain, and even the way we let others treat us. Yet, for some people, self-respect takes a backseat—sometimes without them even realizing it.
The result? Habits and behaviors that undermine their worth and keep them stuck in cycles of dissatisfaction.
The tricky part is that these habits often feel normal to the person displaying them. They might justify their actions as “keeping the peace” or “doing what’s necessary,” not realizing the toll it’s taking on their self-esteem.
If you’ve ever wondered what self-respect—or rather, the lack of it—looks like in daily life, these six habits are some of the clearest signs. Let’s break them down.
1) Constant self-deprecation
We all make the occasional self-deprecating joke to lighten the mood, but for some people, it goes way beyond humor—it’s a constant narrative.
They downplay their achievements, brush off compliments, and seem to find flaws in everything they do.
“Oh, I didn’t do that well,” or “I’m just not good enough at this” becomes their default response to even the smallest praise.
At first, it might come across as humility, but over time, it reveals a deeper issue: a lack of self-respect.
What’s tricky about constant self-deprecation is how it reinforces negative beliefs. The more they put themselves down, the more they internalize that perspective.
It’s a self-fulfilling cycle where they genuinely start to believe they aren’t good enough.
Unfortunately, it also sends a message to others that they don’t value themselves.
Breaking this habit starts with awareness. Catch those negative comments before they slip out and replace them with something neutral—or better yet, positive. Accept compliments with a simple “thank you” instead of brushing them off.
Building self-respect isn’t about arrogance; it’s about giving yourself the credit you deserve. Small changes like these can make a big difference.
2) Over-apologizing
Another habit that can subtly erode self-respect is over-apologizing. I’ve noticed this in my own life from time to time. Saying “sorry” when it’s not needed can be a reflection of feeling undeserving or out of place.
While it’s important to apologize when we’ve done something wrong, frequent unnecessary apologies can signal a lack of self-respect. It might indicate that we’re undervaluing our own thoughts, feelings, and presence.
We might over-apologize because we’re overly concerned with pleasing others, or out of a fear of conflict or rejection.
As clinical social worker Shahar Lawrence says in Psych Central, “When someone has low self-esteem, they may feel they’re taking up too much space, asking too much, or being disruptive. In this case, they often apologize profusely as they feel they aren’t worthy of time, space, or attention.”
However, it’s a habit that keeps us stuck in an unhealthy loop. Each unnecessary apology can chip away at our sense of self-worth and create a pattern of diminishing ourselves even more.
3) Neglecting personal needs
A subtle sign of low self-respect can be found in the habitual neglect of one’s own needs. This might manifest as:
- Constantly prioritizing others
- Skipping meals
- Neglecting sleep
- Dismissing personal hobbies and passions
While it’s commendable to be caring and considerate towards others, it’s crucial to remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup. Consistently ignoring our own needs can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and an erosion of self-respect.
I’ve found that learning to prioritize our needs is not selfish; it’s a fundamental act of self-care and self-respect. The sweet spot lies in finding a balance where we honor our own needs while also being responsive to those of others.
To delve deeper into this topic, I recommend you watch my video on personal freedom hacks, where I share valuable insights on maintaining well-being and living life on your own terms.
4) Tolerating disrespect
People who lack self-respect often tolerate treatment they don’t deserve—whether it’s subtle put-downs, being ignored, or outright rude behavior.
They might convince themselves it’s not a big deal or that they’re just “keeping the peace,” but the truth is, allowing others to disrespect you only reinforces the belief that you’re not worthy of better.
What’s more, this behavior can become a pattern. Once people see that you won’t push back against mistreatment, it opens the door for more of the same.
It might start with a sarcastic comment that you let slide, but over time, it can escalate to being taken for granted or even outright exploitation.
And while standing up for yourself can feel scary, tolerating disrespect chips away at your confidence little by little.
Ironically, people often put up with disrespect to avoid conflict or protect relationships, but it usually has the opposite effect.
Instead of strengthening bonds, it creates resentment—toward others and, eventually, toward themselves. No one feels good being in a situation where they’re constantly overlooked or undervalued.
True empowerment stems from taking full responsibility for our lives. This includes setting clear boundaries and demanding respect from others. It’s important to remember that we teach others how to treat us by the standards we accept.
Respect begins within. When we start respecting ourselves, we establish a model for how others should treat us. This shift not only improves our relationships but also fosters a more profound sense of self-worth and dignity.
5) Fear of expressing opinions
Have you ever found yourself nodding along in a discussion even though you completely disagree? For someone who struggles with self-respect, this happens all the time.
Rather than risk the discomfort of disagreement or judgment, they stay quiet, choosing to blend into the background rather than let their voice be heard.
It’s not that they don’t have opinions—they just don’t believe they’re worth sharing.
This habit isn’t as harmless as it seems. Over time, keeping quiet can make someone feel invisible like their thoughts and ideas don’t count.
It also creates a disconnect between their true self and the version they’re presenting to the world.
Whether it’s fear of confrontation, rejection, or simply feeling “not good enough,” the choice to stay silent comes at the cost of authenticity and connection.
If this sounds familiar, try starting small. Speak up about little things, like your preference for dinner or a new idea at work. It’s not about being pushy—it’s about trusting that what you have to say matters. Because it does.
For a deeper dive into this topic, I recommend my video on giving up on being a ‘good person’. It delves into how embracing our authentic selves can lead to more genuine engagement with the world.
6) Overly focused on self-improvement
While personal growth and self-improvement are noble pursuits, an obsessive focus on these can sometimes stem from a place of low self-respect.
How so? Well, it may indicate a belief that we are fundamentally lacking or inadequate and that we must continually strive to become ‘better’ in order to be worthy of respect.
True personal growth is about cultivating self-awareness, confronting our fears and limiting beliefs, and nurturing self-compassion.
It’s not about striving to reach some idealized version of ourselves, but about embracing who we are in the present moment – flaws, strengths, and all.
When we begin to accept ourselves as we are, while still being open to growth and learning, we cultivate a profound sense of self-respect. We realize that we don’t need to be ‘perfect’ to be worthy – our worth is inherent.
This approach aligns with the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth – a core belief that I hold. It encourages us to view growth as a journey of self-discovery rather than a relentless race towards an elusive ideal.
Wrapping up
If you’ve seen yourself in any of these habits, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, use this as an opportunity to grow.
Start small—say no when you need to, speak up for yourself, and prioritize your well-being.
Self-respect isn’t just about how others treat you; it’s about how you treat yourself. And that’s something worth working on every day.
Remember, respecting ourselves is foundational to living authentic and fulfilling lives. When we start treating ourselves with the dignity and kindness we deserve, we set a standard for how others should treat us.
We step into our power, embrace our inherent worth, and cultivate a deeper sense of joy and fulfillment in our lives.
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