Isabella Chase
Growing up with divorced parents can significantly shape our relationship habits. The experience is unique and often imparts lessons that stick with us, molding our behaviors and attitudes in future relationships.
These tendencies aren’t necessarily negative or positive, just different. And understanding them can help us navigate our own relationships better.
In this article, I’ll be sharing 8 common relationship habits that people who’ve grown up with divorced parents often develop later in life.
It’s not about blaming or stereotyping, but about understanding and empathy.
So, let’s dive right in!
1) Seeking stability
Growing up with divorced parents often exposes a child to an environment where stability can be lacking. The constant changes, the shifting dynamics, and the uncertain atmosphere can make one crave stability later in life.
This craving for stability often manifests itself in the form of relationship habits. They tend to seek out stable, predictable relationships in their adulthood. They value constancy and dependability above all else.
This might mean that they’re less likely to engage in casual dating or jump from one relationship to another. Instead, they might prefer to invest their time and energy in a single, long-term relationship.
Remember, this isn’t about labelling or pigeonholing anyone. It’s just one of the many ways that our upbringing can subtly shape our relationship habits.
2) Overcommunication
Another habit I’ve noticed, both in myself and others who’ve grown up with divorced parents, is the tendency to overcommunicate.
I remember the confusion and uncertainty that came with my parents’ divorce. The lack of clear communication between them often left me feeling like I was in the dark.
This experience taught me the importance of open dialogue and transparency in maintaining a healthy relationship.
As a result, I’ve developed a habit of overcommunicating in my relationships. Whether it’s expressing my feelings, discussing plans, or even just sharing the mundane details of my day – I believe in laying it all out there.
This habit can sometimes be overwhelming for people who aren’t used to such a level of openness.
But for me, it’s a way to ensure clarity and avoid misunderstandings.
3) Tendency to delay commitment
People who’ve grown up with divorced parents often take more time to commit in a relationship. This isn’t because they’re afraid of commitment itself, but because they’re cautious and meticulous about choosing their partner.
They often take their time, carefully evaluating their relationship and partner before making a long-term commitment.
This can result in longer dating periods or living together before marriage. The intention is to fully understand the dynamics of the relationship and to be certain before making a lifelong commitment.
4) High sensitivity to conflict
Witnessing parental divorce often involves exposure to conflict. This can make individuals more sensitive to disagreements and disputes in their own relationships.
Such individuals may develop a heightened awareness of signs of discord and may strive to resolve issues quickly. They might be the ones who are always eager to talk things out, hate leaving things unresolved, or feel anxious when there is tension.
On the other hand, this could also lead them to avoid conflict at all costs, leading to a habit of sweeping issues under the rug or holding back their feelings to keep the peace.
Understanding this sensitivity can help in navigating conflicts more effectively in relationships with those who’ve experienced their parents’ divorce.
5) Deep value for family
While it might seem counterintuitive, many people who grow up with divorced parents develop a deep value for family in their adulthood.
Experiencing a fragmented family unit at a young age can often lead to a strong desire to create and protect their own family unit in the future.
This manifests in their relationships as a profound commitment to building a solid, loving, and cohesive family environment. They may put in extra effort to create traditions, celebrate milestones, and foster a sense of unity and togetherness.
This deep-rooted value for family can be a beautiful outcome of a challenging childhood experience, demonstrating resilience and the capacity for growth.
It is a testament to the human spirit’s ability to turn pain into strength, and turmoil into an unwavering commitment to love and unity.
6) Fear of abandonment
I’ve always been someone who values my relationships deeply. But I’ve also often found myself grappling with an underlying fear of abandonment.
This isn’t just a random fear but one rooted in my childhood experience of my parents’ divorce.
The divorce meant one parent was physically absent more often, leading to feelings of abandonment. This experience planted a seed of fear that those I love might leave or that relationships don’t last.
As an adult, this fear surfaces in different ways. I may be overly clingy, need constant reassurance, or struggle with trust issues in my relationships.
It’s not easy to admit, but acknowledging this fear is the first step in managing it and fostering healthier relationships.
7) Adaptability
Growing up with divorced parents often necessitates a high degree of adaptability.
Shuffling between households, adapting to different parenting styles, and adjusting to new family dynamics can all contribute to developing this ability.
As adults, this adaptability can be a valuable asset in their relationships. They’re often able to adjust to changes, be it moving cities, changing jobs, or navigating the ebbs and flows of a relationship.
This ability to adapt doesn’t mean they’re unaffected by change. Instead, it means they’ve developed the resilience to manage change effectively. Their flexibility can be a strong foundation for navigating life’s ups and downs together.
8) Self-reliance
Perhaps the most crucial habit is self-reliance. Experiencing the dissolution of the family unit at a young age often instills a strong sense of independence and self-sufficiency.
These individuals learn early on that they can’t always rely on others for their happiness or fulfillment.
So, they learn to depend on themselves, to find their own path, and to create their own happiness.
As adults, this self-reliance can be a tremendous asset in their relationships. It allows them to enter relationships not out of need, but out of choice.
It enables them to contribute to a relationship as an equal partner, bringing a level of maturity and stability that can greatly enrich their relationships.
In conclusion: It’s about understanding
Growing up with divorced parents definitely leaves its mark on how you handle relationships later in life. It’s key to understand these tendencies, see why they exist, and figure out how they impact your love life.
For anyone who’s part of this journey, a little patience and a lot of understanding can go a long way.
We all carry bits of our past into our relationships, but recognizing and working through them can help us build healthier connections.
