Adrian Volenik
The things you go through as a kid really stick with you. If your home life was all over the place, it’s naturally gonna affect how you see the world when you’re all grown up.
Still, despite all the craziness, some people manage to bounce back and build awesome lives for themselves.
It takes a lot of work, but with the right support, they can break free from the past and find happiness.
So, let’s see what behaviors people who grew up in dysfunctional and chaotic homes tend to display as adults.
1) They don’t trust others
Growing up in an environment where promises were broken, trust shattered, or caregivers were unreliable can and does make it hard to trust others as adults.
I mean, it’s only natural as this lack of trust stems from a fear of being hurt or let down again.
Honestly, my home was far from chaotic, and even I still have some trust issues as I’ve been let down many times in my life.
If I multiply that amount by ten, there’s no way in hell I’d trust anyone ever again, which is what many people from these homes experience.
2) They have a fear of abandonment
In homes where things are always up in the air, there’s usually no steady ground to stand on. That uncertainty can make you really scared of being left behind or ignored.
So, you might end up being extra clingy in relationships, or you hold back from really opening up to people.
And sometimes, you might even mess things up on purpose, just to keep from getting too attached.
3) They self-sabotage
When you grow up feeling like you’re not good enough and that everything’s just gonna fall apart anyway, it can make you do things that screw up your own chances at success.
Like putting things off until the last minute, not believing in yourself, or doing stuff that’s bad for you. It’s like you’re proving to yourself that things can’t ever really work out right.
So, instead of going after what you want and taking steps to make your life better, you end up doing things that hold you back.
You’re stuck in this cycle where you believe you don’t deserve good things, so you subconsciously sabotage yourself without even realizing it.
4) They doubt themselves
Living in a never-ending mess at home can really mess with how you see yourself. If you’re always being put down, ignored, or made to feel like you don’t matter, it’s easy to start thinking that you’re just not good enough.
As I said above, you even start believing that you don’t deserve love or success. That feeling of not being worth much just sticks with you, no matter what, and it can really hold you back in life.
But here’s the thing: just because you grew up in a chaotic or dysfunctional environment doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love and success.
It’s tough, but you can learn to shake off those old beliefs and start believing in yourself again.
5) They avoid conflicts
And look, in a chaotic household, fights happen all the time, right? So, when they’re finally adults, some people just go along with whatever others want. Simply to avoid more drama.
They’re always trying to keep everyone happy, even if it means ignoring their own feelings. But deep down, they end up feeling pretty ticked off and fed up.
They’re constantly bending over backward to avoid any kind of argument or disagreement.
They’ll do whatever it takes to smooth things over, even if it means sacrificing their own wants and needs.
But that kind of behavior can really eat away at them inside, leaving them resentful and trapped. It’s a tough spot to be in, for sure.
6) They don’t know where to draw the line
In homes where things are always chaotic, it’s hard to know where one person’s stuff stops and another’s starts.
This can confuse you and lead you to think that’s how things work in all families and that’s how people handle their relationships.
That’s why when you grow up, you don’t know how to set clear limits on what’s okay and what’s not, which can leave you used, taken advantage of, and totally worn out.
This lack of clear boundaries can cause all sorts of problems. For example, you might feel like you’re being taken advantage of because you can’t say no without feeling guilty.
Or you end up doing things you don’t want to do just to keep the peace, which can build up resentment over time.
And let’s not forget about burnout โ constantly giving without setting limits ends up with being exhausted and drained.
7) They’re often impulsive
Because things were always hectic and they never had any stability, they learned to live for the now.
Now, that can be good and bad. For instance, they don’t get as anxious about the future. On the other hand, they might not really plan for it, too, which means they can get into financial trouble later on.
Basically, they’re all about getting what feels good right away without thinking about what might happen later.
That can mean making snap decisions, taking big risks, and not thinking through the consequences.
8) They don’t know how to deal with emotions
People who grew up in those kinds of homes might have a tough time figuring out what they’re feeling, dealing with those feelings, and expressing them in a healthy way.
This can make it hard for them to get close to others and handle stress.
Because they never really learned how to handle their emotions properly, they’re missing a key skill when it comes to forming close bonds with others.
And when life gets tough, they don’t know how to cope in a healthy way.
9) They have addictive behaviors
Dealing with all the stress and messed-up stuff from growing up in a crazy home can push some people to turn to drugs, booze, or other risky stuff to try to feel better or forget about it all.
It might give them a quick fix, but in the long run, it just makes things worse, adding to the chaos and making them feel even more out of control.
10) They can’t relax
And something else can also happen when people grow up in such homes. When they’re adults, they think that stress is just a normal part of life, even when things are chill.
This constant feeling of being on edge results in anxiety, feeling down, health issues, and struggles with relationships.
So, even when things are supposed to be calm, their brain is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and their body is stuck in survival mode, even when there’s no real danger around.
11) They tend to repeat patterns
Even if they really want to break free from all the chaos, people who grew up in crazy homes might end up doing the same stuff they saw their parents do.
It’s not because they want to, but because it’s all they know. They didn’t have good role models, or they’re still dealing with stuff from their past that they haven’t worked through yet.
So, even though they want things to be different, old habits die hard.
12) They don’t trust the authority
The adults in charge might’ve been unreliable, mean, or just not there for them. That made it really hard for them to trust authority figures later on.
They question rules constantly, don’t believe in following the crowd, and have a tough time fitting into places with clear hierarchies, like at work or in social groups.
Final thoughts
Growing up in a dysfunctional and chaotic home can profoundly impact every aspect of one’s life.
From struggling with trust and forming healthy relationships to dealing with stress and authority, the effects can be far-reaching and long-lasting.
But it doesn’t mean they’re stuck that way forever. With some support and understanding, they can break free from that past and build a better future for themselves.
It’s not easy, but it’s totally possible to find peace and happiness, even after all the craziness they’ve been through.
