Did someone just ghost you?
Don’t feel bad.
Trust me—it’s not you, it’s them.
If anything, you should be grateful for having dodged a bullet!
You see, people who ghost their dates usually have other unpleasant traits. Be glad you don’t have to deal with any of them.
Here are 10 personality traits of people who ghost their dates.
1) They don’t have the balls to be honest
If they don’t even have the balls to shoot you a text saying “Sorry, I changed my mind”, imagine all the other things they probably won’t be able to tell you.
People like this aren’t just scared of canceling dates, of course.
They’re likely scared of a lot of things—like telling the truth and owning up to their mistakes.
Let me ask you this: Do you want to be with someone like this?
So chin up. Consider yourself lucky they ghosted you!
2) They don’t know what they want
I have a friend who has a reputation for ghosting his dates and—as unbelievable as it might seem—it’s NOT because he’s an a**hole.
He’s even one of the nicest people I know!
The problem with him is that he simply doesn’t know what he wants.
We call him “lost boy” because well, he has no direction in life! He wants everything that in the end, he doesn’t commit to anything.
Being with a person who doesn’t know what they want is exhausting.
If you’re with them, you’ll never feel secure because they’re always questioning the present and looking for something better.
3) They’re people-pleasers
That is to say, when they showed interest in you, it was largely just because they wanted to make you happy.
They want you to feel wanted that they even asked you out on a date.
But as the day of your date approaches, they get cold feet. They realize that they just can’t do it for some reason…
And the reason is that they just did it to please you (and nothing more!)
In the end, their efforts to please you only resulted in them hurting you instead.
You want to be with a person who means what they say and follow through, not someone who just wants to please everyone they meet.
If you get married, how would you know they’re genuinely happy with where you live, with how many kids you have…with you, with everything?
What if they’ll just be faking their happiness to please you?
4) They’re a self-serving egoist
Or, in other words, they’re the kind of person who does things for their own benefit without regarding how their actions affect others.
They like to get all the freebies they can get away with.
They take every opportunity that’s available to them.
And of course, they chase after as many people as they can.
What they’re doing is casting out a wide net and then picking and choosing from whatever they manage to grab.
And what likely happened with you is that they asked you out so that they can afford to pick and choose who to date.
Unfortunately, they chose someone else.
These people have narcissistic tendencies and trust me, you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone like them!
5) They’re wishy-washy
They’re the kind of person who simply can’t make a choice and commit to it.
Leave them alone in a store and they’ll spend hours putting things into their basket and only to put them back on the shelves.
Ask them what kind of food they want for lunch and their answer will change every five minutes.
Now if you’re the kind of person who can tolerate this, then good for you.
But if this kind of behavior drives you crazy, it might be for the best that they ghosted you.
6) They’re avoidant
Do you know that there’s such a thing as avoidant personality disorder?
It’s when someone avoids interactions that could lead to rejection, criticism, and humiliation.
They’re probably this way outside their dating lives, too.
Perhaps they’re the kind who won’t take big risks because they’re too scared they won’t get what they want.
I personally can’t date someone who’s like this.
I had an ex who was too scared to pursue his passions, too worried to move to another city, and even too shy to meet my family.
We definitely did NOT grow!
If you can’t be with someone like this, then thank them for showing their true colors early on.
7) They find it hard to say “no”
Maybe you’re the one who initiated the date.
They probably said “yes” but it’s only because they find it hard to reject you. Yep, some people are just “too nice.”
So what probably happened was that they hoped that you’d change your mind…
Or that they’ll eventually like seeing you again as time passes…but that just didn’t happen.
People who struggle to gracefully decline anything will not make good partners.
You’ll be the one who’ll end up turning down those people they said “yes” to—from eager salesmen to family members who want to borrow money.
Don’t date a “yes man/woman”. Date someone who knows what they want and don’t want—and has no issues letting others know it.
8) They don’t want to be seen as the bad guy
Most of the people who ghost their dates are actually “too nice”.
They care so much that people see them as someone kind, sweet, generous, loving…
Perhaps they already know that they don’t like you the moment you asked them…but then they delayed breaking it to you as much as possible.
They’re probably hoping that YOU will be the one to cancel the date. That way, they’re still the good guy / gal.
In their attempt to be seen as a good guy, they end up being a bad guy.
9) They lack integrity
Are they honest?
Do they value commitment?
Can you rely on them?
The people who have integrity would never go “no show” on a date—ever!
They’d at least send a proper message explaining why they can’t go…even if it’s uncomfortable, and even if it makes them seem like a heartless person.
The ones who ghost their dates are usually the ones who you can’t rely on in many things.
They’re probably like the colleague who submits work three weeks late. Or the “friend” who doesn’t visit you at the hospital even if they just live five minutes away.
10) They expect others to always understand them
If they act like them ghosting you is no biggie, they’re definitely not a catch.
They’re both irresponsible and entitled.
Some people think they can get away with anything—that their bad behavior isn’t so bad if they’re the one committing it, and therefore should be forgiven.
They’re the ones who’d raise both hands and say “Geez! It’s not like I killed someone!” or “I’m only human.”
They minimize their mistakes and EXPECT people to just say “Aww. I know your struggles. You’re not a bad person at all.”
They lack empathy because all they can think about is themselves.
It’s highly likely that these people are narcissists who are experts at manipulating people.
So if they ask for a second date as if they didn’t commit a major offense, run.
So you see?
They’re not such a catch, are they?
And it’s a good thing they showed their true colors even before you actually had the chance to fall in love.
Imagine if you actually married them. You’ll likely have to deal with the traits I’ve listed above.
And so what now? What should you do with the ghoster?
No matter what happens—don’t confront them!
Don’t ask for an explanation.
Don’t express how hurt you are.
Don’t teach them a lesson.
You have better use of your time—like looking for someone who actually has integrity.