Mia Zhang
I’ve been there, heck, I still visit that place from time to time.
You know, that mental state where you’re always fretting about something, anything, everything.
I’ve tried calming down, practiced mindfulness, and even attempted to distract myself with hobbies.
But sometimes, it just doesn’t seem to work.
It’s not always a dramatic state of panic or obvious stress.
There’s just this nagging sensation, this constant undercurrent of worry that never seems to fully disappear.
In the following article, I’m going to lay out the 8 behaviors commonly exhibited by folks like us – people who just can’t seem to shake off that need to worry.
This is for all of you who are grappling with the same struggle and want to understand better what’s going on in your heads.
It’s high time we recognize these signs and learn how to manage them better.
Let’s dive in.
1) They overthink every situation
One of the main behaviors that people who constantly worry exhibit is overthinking every little detail.
It’s like there’s a perpetual hamster wheel spinning in their heads, analyzing and re-analyzing situations, conversations, even innocent remarks.
The problem isn’t just the overthinking; it’s also the fact that the conclusions reached are often skewed towards the negative.
If you’re someone who finds that your mind turns any situation into a “worst-case scenario” mental movie, then this is a classic sign of chronic worry.
It’s not just the big stuff – job interviews, exams, or first dates – but also the mundane and everyday situations that get blown out of proportion.
The overthinking doesn’t necessarily have to be rational or even based on facts. After all, worrying is often about dealing with hypothetical problems rather than real ones.
2) They struggle with decision-making
This one hits especially close to home.
When you’re constantly worrying, decision-making feels like a game of Minesweeper. Every choice, no matter how small, seems to carry the potential for catastrophic outcomes.
I remember this one time when I had to choose between two job offers. Both had their pros and cons but instead of looking at them objectively, I ended up losing sleep over the sheer number of ‘what ifs’ my brain conjured up.
“What if I make the wrong choice? What if I end up hating the job? What if this decision ruins my career?”
It was a simple decision, but in my worry-ridden mind, it felt like standing on the edge of a cliff.
This pattern of behavior isn’t just limited to major life decisions. It can manifest in mundane everyday choices too, like deciding what to wear or what to eat for dinner.
3) They’re prone to negative self-talk
Marilyn Monroe once said, “We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle.”
But for people who constantly worry, this twinkle often gets clouded by a barrage of negative self-talk.
Let me paint a picture for you.
Imagine that you’re preparing for a presentation. You’ve done your research, prepared the slides, and even rehearsed your speech.
But instead of focusing on your hard work, all you can hear is this little voice in your head saying, “You’re going to mess this up,” or “Everyone’s going to laugh at you.”
This voice doesn’t present itself as an enemy, but a ‘realistic’ friend who’s just preparing you for the worst.
But here’s the thing – this isn’t realism. It’s detrimental to our mental health and self-esteem.
Negative self-talk is a common trait among chronic worriers. It’s like having a pessimistic commentator in your head, offering unsolicited commentary on every action and decision.
While it’s important to be aware of our shortcomings and areas of improvement, it’s equally crucial not to let this inner critic dominate our thoughts and overshadow our capabilities.
4) They often struggle with sleep
The human brain is a fascinating organ. It’s responsible for our thoughts, senses, movements, and even our dreams.
But for a chronic worrier, the brain can often feel more like a foe than a friend, especially when it comes to sleep.
You see, research shows that anxiety and sleep have a complex, bidirectional relationship.
Anxiety can lead to sleep issues, and sleep issues can further amplify anxiety. It’s like a never-ending vicious cycle.
For people who constantly worry, the moment they hit the pillow isn’t a time for rest but rather a prime time for their brain to go into overdrive.
Every minor worry that was brushed aside during the day comes back in full force. The silence of the night provides the perfect backdrop for these worries to play out their grand performance.
If you find yourself tossing and turning at night, unable to switch off your brain from its incessant worrying, this is yet another sign of chronic worry.
The key here is to not let this cycle continue unchecked but to seek strategies or help that can break this pattern.
5) They tend to avoid confrontations
Dealing with conflict is never pleasant.
But for those who constantly worry, confrontations can feel like a minefield that’s best avoided. This means important conversations are often swept under the rug.
Instead of addressing the issue head-on, chronic worriers may prefer to stew in their worry and anxiety, fearing the potential fallout of the confrontation.
I’ve noticed this pattern in my own behavior. Whenever there’s a potential conflict brewing, I find myself retreating faster than a startled rabbit.
It’s not that I don’t recognize the importance of resolving the issue – it’s just that my mind starts playing out all the worst-case scenarios, making the confrontation seem like an insurmountable task.
6) They often seek reassurance
Reassurance can be a comforting balm for a worried soul.
For those who constantly worry, there’s often a need to hear that everything’s okay, that the decision they made was right, or that the future isn’t as bleak as they’re imagining.
In my experience, I’ve found myself seeking this validation from others more often than I’d like to admit.
Whether it’s about a presentation I just delivered or the email I just sent, I find myself fishing for reassurances to quell my worries.
While there’s nothing wrong with seeking feedback or reassurance occasionally, it becomes problematic when it turns into a compulsive need – a lifeline that you’re constantly clinging to in an attempt to quell your anxieties.
7) They have a hard time living in the present
The here and now can be a difficult place to inhabit for someone who’s constantly worrying.
Instead of enjoying the present moment, their mind is often elsewhere – dwelling on past mistakes, or anticipating future problems.
This inability to stay present and appreciate the current moment is another common trait among chronic worriers.
It’s like being at a party but not really being there because your mind is too preoccupied with other thoughts.
8) They often feel physically drained
This is something that’s not talked about enough – the physical toll of constant worry.
Worrying isn’t just a mental or emotional issue; it’s a full-body experience. It’s like running a marathon in your mind every day, and your body can’t help but feel the exhaustion.
If you often feel tired even when you haven’t done anything physically demanding, it could be another sign that you’re dealing with constant worry.
Taking care of your mental health is as essential as taking care of your physical health.
Embracing the journey
If you’re nodding along to these signs, you’re likely someone who constantly worries. But here’s the encouraging part – this doesn’t have to be a life sentence.
Awareness is always the first step towards change. By recognizing these behaviors, you’re already on your way to a healthier mindset.
Start by noticing when these behaviors show up. Pay attention to moments when your mind starts to spiral into overthinking or when you’re losing sleep over hypothetical problems.
Be mindful of the times when you lean towards avoidance rather than facing confrontations.
Each time you catch yourself falling into these patterns, pause.
Ask yourself – is this worry based on reality or is it just my mind creating hypothetical scenarios? What evidence do I have that supports my worry?
You don’t have to conquer all your worries at once. Small victories count, whether it’s managing to quiet your mind for a few minutes of peace or successfully challenging a negative thought.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
