People who drain the energy of those around them usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

We all encounter people who seem to suck the energy right out of us. Often, they aren’t even aware they’re doing it. They’re just behaving in ways that are draining to those around them.

These energy-drainers typically exhibit certain behaviors that inadvertently cause them to sap the vitality from those they interact with. And it’s not always easy to spot these behaviors, especially if you’re the one doing them.

Sometimes, by recognizing these behaviors in ourselves or in others, we can take steps to change them. So here are the 8 behaviors commonly displayed by people who unintentionally drain the energy from those around them.

1) Constant negativity

We’ve all encountered that one person who always seems to have a dark cloud hanging over their head.

These are the individuals who persistently see the glass as half-empty, rather than half-full. They focus on the negatives in every situation, constantly complaining and rarely expressing gratitude or optimism.

This constant negativity can be extremely draining for those around them. It’s like a black hole, sucking all the positivity and energy from the room.

Unfortunately, these individuals often don’t realize the impact their negativity has on others. They view their pessimism as realism, not understanding how it saps the energy and enthusiasm of those around them.

By becoming aware of this behavior and making a conscious effort to focus more on positives, it’s possible to lift the dark cloud and stop draining the energy of others.

2) Dominating conversations

I’m sure we’ve all been in a conversation where it feels like we can’t get a word in edgewise. I remember a friend of mine who, without realizing it, would monopolize every conversation.

Whenever we met, he’d launch into detailed accounts of his life, his work, his troubles. He was so engrossed in sharing that he rarely paused to ask anything about me or others around him.

This behavior can be incredibly draining. It feels like you’re an audience member rather than an active participant in the conversation.

People who dominate conversations often aren’t aware they’re doing it. They’re just passionate or eager to share. But by taking a step back and encouraging others to speak, they can turn a monologue into a dialogue, creating a more balanced and energizing interaction.

3) Constant interruptions

Did you know the average person speaks at a rate of about 125-150 words per minute, but the human brain can process up to 800 words per minute? This disparity often leads to people interrupting others because they think faster than the person speaking.

However, constant interruptions can drain the energy from those around them. It’s not just that they’re being cut off mid-sentence; it’s the underlying message that what they’re saying isn’t significant or worthy of attention.

Interrupters often don’t realize they’re doing it. They might think they’re actively participating or showing enthusiasm. But by practicing active listening and waiting their turn to speak, they can make conversations more engaging and less exhausting for everyone involved.

4) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a vital component of meaningful and energizing interactions. However, some individuals struggle with showing empathy, and this can be incredibly draining for those around them.

These individuals often focus solely on their own feelings and experiences, neglecting to consider how others might be feeling. This can create a sense of disconnection and leave others feeling unheard or invalidated.

People lacking empathy often don’t realize the impact of their behavior. They might see themselves as pragmatic or straightforward, not understanding how this lack of emotional understanding can drain the energy of those around them.

By making a conscious effort to empathize with others, they can foster deeper connections and create a more positive and energizing environment.

5) Relentless criticism

Nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws and make mistakes. But imagine constantly being reminded of your shortcomings, with every small error or misstep being scrutinized. This is the reality for those who have to deal with relentless critics.

These individuals have a knack for pointing out mistakes and offering unsolicited advice, often under the guise of “helping” or “improving” others. However, this constant criticism can chip away at a person’s self-esteem and drain them emotionally.

Critics often don’t realize the negative impact of their constant critique. They might see themselves as helpful or constructive, not understanding how their words can hurt others.

By being more mindful of their words and focusing on offering encouragement rather than criticism, they can create a more supportive and energizing environment for everyone.

6) Being dismissive

I remember a time when my excitement over a new project was met with a dismissive remark. It felt like my enthusiasm was being trivialized, leaving me feeling deflated and unheard.

People who are dismissive often downplay or ignore others’ thoughts, feelings, or accomplishments. This can leave those around them feeling invalidated and unimportant, draining their energy and enthusiasm.

Dismissive individuals often don’t realize how their behavior can affect others. They may see it as keeping things light or not making a big deal out of things.

By recognizing and validating others’ feelings and achievements, they can foster an environment of mutual respect and positive energy.

7) Excessive complaining

We all have bad days and need to vent sometimes. But there’s a difference between sharing your frustrations and constantly complaining about everything.

People who complain excessively often focus on problems rather than solutions. This negative outlook can be draining for those around them, as it fosters a pessimistic environment.

Excessive complainers often don’t realize the toll their negativity takes on others. They might see themselves as realists, not understanding how their constant focus on the negative can sap the energy of those around them.

By shifting their focus towards solutions and positivity, they can create a more uplifting and energizing atmosphere.

8) Emotional dependency

Emotional dependency, when one relies on others for their emotional wellbeing, can be truly exhausting. Those in the vicinity of emotionally dependent individuals often find themselves shouldering the weight of the person’s happiness, sadness, and everything in between.

This dependency can be draining as it places a heavy emotional burden on others. It leaves little room for mutual emotional exchange, as conversations and interactions often revolve around the emotionally dependent individual’s feelings.

People with this behavior often don’t realize how draining it can be for others. By learning to manage their emotions independently and seeking professional help if necessary, they can create healthier relationships and a more balanced emotional environment.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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