Isabella Chase
People began chasing likes, comments, and followers as if their self-worth depended on it. The constant need for approval started to overshadow genuine interactions.
It made me wonder—what’s driving this endless quest for validation? As it turns out, those who constantly seek validation on social media often share certain personality traits.
Let’s take a closer look at seven of these traits and understand what might be fueling this behavior.
1) Attention-seeking
One of the most common traits among people who continually seek validation on social media is attention-seeking.
This characteristic isn’t necessarily negative – we all like a bit of attention now and then. But for some individuals, it goes beyond the occasional ‘look at me’ post.
They thrive on the reactions and comments they receive from their online audience. Every like, share, or comment feeds their need for attention and validation.
It’s like an adrenaline rush; the more they get, the more they want. This perpetual cycle often leads to them sharing more and more, just to keep the validation coming.
The digital age has made this easier than ever before. Research shows that social media platforms actually fuel simping or attention-seeking behavior.
2) Low self-esteem
It’s no secret that social media can sometimes become a breeding ground for comparison and self-doubt. Which is why one trait you’ll notice in people who regularly seek validation on these platforms is low self-esteem.
I remember a friend of mine who would spend hours perfecting his photos before posting them on Instagram and then anxiously wait for the ‘likes’ to roll in. If the post didn’t get the expected number of likes within an hour, he would delete it, feeling embarrassed and inadequate.
This constant need for approval was directly tied to his self-esteem. He would measure his self-worth based on the number of likes and comments his posts received. It was a destructive cycle that took a toll on his mental health.
Low self-esteem can manifest in many ways, but when it comes to social media, it often revolves around seeking validation from others to feel good about oneself.
If you or someone you know displays similar patterns, it might be time to reassess your relationship with social media.
3) High levels of narcissism
Although not everyone who seeks validation on social media is a narcissist, there’s a notable correlation between high levels of narcissism and the need for online validation.
Narcissists often use social media as a tool to feed their ego and self-importance. They typically post content that showcases their achievements, physical appearance, or anything that might place them in the spotlight.
A study published in the Journal of Personality found a relationship between engaging in social networking sites and narcissistic personality traits.
So when you notice someone excessively showing off their life on social media, it could be more than just sharing – it might be a sign of narcissistic tendencies.
4) Fear of missing out
Fear of Missing Out, commonly known as FOMO, is another trait that’s common among people who constantly seek validation on social media.
This fear is often driven by the idea that others are having more fun or experiencing better things. This can lead to an obsession with staying connected and constantly checking social media feeds.
For these individuals, every ‘like’ or comment provides a sense of relief, a reassurance that they are not being forgotten or left out from their social circle.
If you find yourself scrolling endlessly through your feed and feeling anxious about not being part of every event or conversation, you might be experiencing FOMO. It’s a sign that you might be seeking social media validation more than is healthy.
5) Lack of real-world interaction
A few years back, I hit a rough patch in my life. I had just moved to a new city, didn’t know many people, and was working from home. My real-world social interaction was minimal.
I began to rely heavily on social media platforms for interaction. Every ping from my phone was a lifeline, a connection to the outside world. I found myself posting more frequently, craving the comments and likes as they made me feel less alone.
Looking back, I realize that this behavior was indicative of my isolation at the time. In the same way, people who often seek validation on social media may be lacking meaningful interactions in their day-to-day lives.
Truth is, the virtual world is a real paradox — it’s a way to connect with others, but too much of it can ultimately cause loneliness.
In the end, nothing comes close to real-life connections.
6) Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another trait commonly found in individuals who constantly seek validation on social media. They tend to curate their online presence meticulously, presenting an idealized version of their life.
Every picture is carefully selected and edited, captions are thoughtfully crafted, and posts are timed for maximum engagement. Anything less than perfect is unacceptable to them.
This pursuit of perfection isn’t limited to their posts alone. They also expect perfection in the form of responses, measuring their success by the number of likes, comments, and shares they receive.
Don’t fall into this trap. Social media is often just a highlight reel, not an accurate reflection of real life. Seeking validation based on an idealized online persona can lead to stress and anxiety.
7) Dependence on external validation
The most crucial trait to recognize in those who constantly seek validation on social media is an overwhelming dependence on external validation.
These individuals measure their self-worth based on the approval of others. The likes, comments, and shares they receive online aren’t just numbers; they are a form of affirmation, a validation of their worth.
However, it’s essential to know that our value isn’t defined by others’ opinions but by how we view ourselves. True validation comes from within – it’s about self-acceptance and recognizing our own worth.
Final thoughts
At the heart of this issue is the universal human need for acceptance and appreciation. In our increasingly digital world, it’s natural to seek these feelings through online interactions.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned after over a decade of being on social media, it’s that we shouldn’t use it as a measure of our self-worth.
Have fun and connect with other people, express yourself however you want…but remember that true validation comes from within.
As long as you keep that in mind, you’ll be able to use social media in a healthy, responsible, and self-compassionate way.
