Mia Zhang
Ever been around someone who seems to consistently make everything about them? It’s a perplexing behavior pattern that can leave you feeling frustrated and unheard.
But here’s an interesting twist — often, these individuals might not even realize they’re doing it. Fascinating, right?
As someone who’s observed this in numerous social situations, I’ve turned to psychology to understand and navigate this behavior better.
And guess what? I’ve unearthed 9 common behaviors that people who consistently make everything about themselves tend to display, often without even realizing it.
In this article, I’m going to share these revelations with you, hoping to shed light on this conduct and help you better understand the people around you. So let’s dive in, shall we?
1) They often shift conversations to focus on themselves
Ever been in a conversation where no matter the topic, it always seems to circle back to one person? Well, you’re not alone.
This is a classic behavior of individuals who tend to make everything about them.
Interestingly, they might not even realize they’re doing this.
From my observation and understanding of psychology, this isn’t necessarily a sign of narcissism or self-obsession. It’s more complex than that.
These individuals may feel an unconscious need to relate everything back to their own experiences, thoughts, or feelings. It’s almost as if their lens of the world is primarily focused on “me”.
For them, sharing their own stories or experiences might feel like contributing or connecting. But in reality, it often leads to others feeling unheard or overshadowed.
2) They struggle with active listening
Did you know? Active listening is a fundamental skill in effective communication.
But here’s the thing…
People who frequently make everything about them often struggle with this skill. They might hear what you’re saying, but they don’t truly listen.
Active listening involves not just hearing the words, but understanding the message behind them, and responding thoughtfully. It’s about giving your full attention to the speaker, showing empathy, and providing relevant responses.
However, those who are always spinning the conversation back to themselves tend to miss out on these aspects of active listening. Their focus is often on waiting for their turn to speak, or on how to relate what’s being said back to their own experiences.
In essence, their ears might be open, but their minds are elsewhere. It’s a subtle behavior that can make a significant difference in how conversations unfold.
3) They often mistake empathy for sympathy
Closely tied to the struggle with active listening, is the challenge of distinguishing between empathy and sympathy.
While these two concepts may seem similar, there’s a crucial difference.
Sympathy involves feeling sorry for someone else’s situation. It’s more about acknowledging someone else’s emotional hardships.
On the other hand, empathy requires us to step into someone else’s shoes emotionally. It’s about understanding and sharing their feelings.
However, people who habitually make everything about themselves might confuse these two. When they hear about someone else’s hardship or experience, they might respond with a similar story of their own. They might believe that sharing their own experiences is a form of empathy.
In reality, this behavior can come off as trying to shift focus back onto themselves, rather than genuinely understanding and sharing in the other person’s feelings.
This subtle misinterpretation of empathy can often lead to conversations that feel one-sided and lacking in genuine emotional connection.
4) They tend to overestimate their abilities and achievements
Ever met someone who seems to have an inflated sense of their own abilities or achievements?
Interestingly, people who consistently make everything about them often fall into this category.
This isn’t about healthy self-confidence or pride in one’s accomplishments. It’s about consistently overestimating one’s role in success or underestimating the role of others and external factors.
For instance, they might attribute a team success solely to their efforts. Or, they might believe they’re the best at something without substantial evidence or feedback.
This behavior can stem from a strong need for validation or recognition. However, it can also result in skewed perceptions and strained relationships, as it often leaves little room for acknowledging the contributions and abilities of others.
5) They often display a lack of emotional responsiveness
People who consistently make everything about them can sometimes exhibit a lack of emotional responsiveness. This can manifest in various ways, including:
- Not responding appropriately to others’ emotions or reactions
- Failing to acknowledge or validate others’ feelings
- Being dismissive of others’ experiences or concerns
This lack of emotional responsiveness might not be intentional.
However, by consistently focusing on their own feelings and experiences, they may unintentionally overlook or dismiss the emotions of those around them. This behavior can create a disconnect in interpersonal relationships and hinder meaningful connections.
6) They tend to monopolize conversations
Let’s be honest, we’ve all been in conversations where one person seems to take up most of the talking space.
From my observations and experiences, people who consistently make everything about them often tend to monopolize conversations.
You might find them dominating discussions or steering the conversation towards topics they’re interested in or have an opinion on.
What’s interesting is that they might not even realize they’re doing this. To them, they might just be engaging passionately in the conversation.
But the impact on others can be quite different. Others may feel overshadowed, unheard, or simply worn out. It’s a behavior that can unintentionally create imbalance in communication dynamics.
So, as we navigate our interactions with such individuals, it’s important to be aware of this pattern and try to foster a more balanced dialogue wherever possible.
7) They frequently play the victim
Imagine this: You’re having a conversation about a challenge you’re facing. Suddenly, the conversation shifts, and now it’s all about the other person’s troubles and hardships. Sound familiar?
People who consistently make everything about them often have a tendency to play the victim.
They might frequently highlight their struggles or hardships, even in contexts where it doesn’t seem relevant. The aim might not be to seek attention or sympathy, but to relate to the situation at hand.
But here’s something to ponder: Is it really connecting or is it subtly shifting focus back onto them?
This pattern of playing the victim can often lead to interactions that feel less like genuine exchanges and more like one-sided monologues. It’s an interesting behavior that warrants our understanding and attention.
8) They often dismiss or minimize others’ experiences
It was during a challenging time in my life when I first noticed this behavior. A friend of mine consistently seemed to dismiss or minimize my experiences and feelings.
I’d share something I was going through, and their response would often be along the lines of, “That’s nothing compared to what I’ve been through,” or, “You think that’s tough, let me tell you about…”
People who consistently make everything about them often have a pattern of dismissing or minimizing others’ experiences.
It’s not necessarily out of malice or intentional disregard; it could simply be their way of relating or trying to offer comfort.
However, the impact can be quite the opposite. It can leave others feeling invalidated or dismissed. This behavior can inadvertently create a sense of disconnect and hinder the development of deep, empathetic relationships.
9) They frequently use “I” or “me” statements
Here we are, at the final point – and it’s a significant one.
People who consistently make everything about them often use a lot of “I” or “me” statements.
It’s not just about the words they use; it’s about the perspective they reflect.
These individuals often view situations primarily from their own viewpoint. Their thoughts, feelings, and experiences take center stage – often to the exclusion of others’.
“I think…”, “I feel…”, “In my experience…” – these phrases frequently dominate their conversations.
Again, it might not be a conscious choice. But this pattern of language use can reveal a lot about their underlying focus on self.
This behavior, subtle as it may be, can significantly shape the dynamics of their interactions with others.
Final thoughts
Understanding these behaviors can help us navigate our relationships with such individuals more effectively. But remember, it’s not about labeling or judging them. It’s about fostering better communication and mutual understanding.
Here are a few things we can consider:
- Practicing active listening: This can encourage them to do the same, creating a more balanced conversation.
- Setting boundaries: Politely steering conversations away from constant self-focus can help establish healthier dynamics.
- Expressing our feelings: If their behavior is affecting us negatively, it’s okay to express this in a respectful manner.
Recognizing these behaviors in others also gives us an opportunity for self-reflection. Do we exhibit any of these tendencies in our own interactions? How can we become more aware and considerate communicators?
As we continue on our journey of understanding and personal growth, let’s strive to nurture empathy, active listening, and genuine connection in our interactions. After all, isn’t that what meaningful communication is all about?
