People who choose their words carefully before they speak share these 10 unique traits

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Do you always take a moment before raising your hand in class?

Do you take a deep breath before speaking up at work? Or when you’re out with a group of friends?

We all choose our words carefully sometimes.

Like in situations when we KNOW we’re being judged (job interviews and first dates spring to mind).

But a lot of people don’t act this way.

Some people just go about their day saying whatever they like, without thinking or even caring about the consequences of their words!

It’s only a select few people who think carefully before they say anything – even when they AREN’T at a job interview or on a first date!

These kinds of people have unique traits that set them apart, like the following 10:

1) They have strong self-awareness

First up, people who choose their words wisely are VERY aware of themselves.

They know exactly who they are and who they want to be.

They also know how they’re coming across to someone right now.

If something they say is going to make them look bad, they don’t say it!

Why? Because they know that the slightest slip-up can alter someone’s perspective on them forever.

They also know how deep of an impact their words can have on someone.

So they think carefully before they speak and choose their words wisely!

2) They’re empaths or have high empathy levels

Being an empath is kind of the same as having high empathy levels, but not really.

When you’re an empath, you have a lot of empathy.

But just because you have high empathy, that doesn’t mean you’re always an empath.

Empaths feel the emotions of others on a deep emotional level.

If you told them your dog died, they’d probably cry more than you!

But someone with high empathy won’t act this way.

They’ll understand your pain and will want to support you. Yet they won’t be so affected by your news that it takes over their entire week!

But anyway, I digress.

The point is, when you have any kind of empathy, you think carefully before you speak.

You know what words might upset someone and what words won’t – and you strive for the latter to avoid hurting anyone.  

3) They’re emotionally intelligent

Some people just get people!

They know how they work, why they do things, and how they’re feeling pretty much all the time.

They pick up on the slightest behavioral changes and seem to know how you’re feeling before you even do!

These people have emotional intelligence.

And it’s this trait that keeps them from saying the wrong thing at any point in their lives.

4) They’re slightly manipulative

Is it manipulation or is it persuasion?

There’s a fine line, but people who choose their words carefully definitely teeter on the edge!

The art of persuasion goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence.

You have to understand how someone is feeling and why if you want to convince them of something.

Is convincing someone always a bad thing? It depends on how you look at it.

If you’re trying to convince your mom to quit smoking to benefit her health, no it isn’t.

Just like if you’re trying to sell a service to onboard a new client.

That’s not an awful thing to do. It’s just your job.

But when you use your skills to control people or bend them into living a life that suits your agenda, it’s definitely a bad thing!

Either way, someone who chooses their words carefully definitely knows how to persuade/manipulate/convince (whichever word you want to use for it!).

5) They’re highly sensitive

You might be an HSP (a highly sensitive person).

Or you might just be quite sensitive. Whichever it is, sensitivity is a strong trait of yours when you choose your words carefully!

Why? Well, no offense but, you get offended pretty easily!

Your tendency to read into things often hurts your own feelings.

Sometimes it’s justifiable. Sometimes, maybe it isn’t.

Your sensitivity is the reason why you don’t flippantly say the first thing that pops into your head.

And why you don’t rant and rave about your (potentially controversial) opinions to anyone you meet…

You don’t want others to think you’re being insensitive with the things you say.

So you go the other way, thinking VERY carefully before you speak.

6) They’re quiet in social settings

Being quiet isn’t the same as being shy.

But someone who chooses their words carefully might be mistakenly branded as such!

I know because I AM this person.

I DO choose my words wisely, especially when I’m socializing.

I’m always reading the room and thinking one step ahead of anything I say.

I’m always planning (or plotting, you decide!) which way a conversation will go if I say X or Y.

It’s why I can be quiet in social settings.

Or at least, quiet-ER than others in the room around me.

Because I’m thinking, thinking, thinking about what to say and who to say it to…

7) They’re major overthinkers

Years ago, I was a huge overthinker.

After any social occasion, I’d spend hours upon hours pouring over the things I said and why I said them (wishing I could rewind time and NOT say them).

What did all that overthinking lead me to do? To think before I speak.

I don’t overthink as much anymore because my brain does all the thinking in the moment these days.

Is that still classed as overthinking – thinking in the moment rather than later? Who knows (maybe I’m overthinking it!).

Either way, it’s a trait of people who choose their words carefully!

8) They’re people pleasers

Or, at least, they want to be liked.

Which is similar, but as long as you don’t overstep your own boundaries to make people like you, it isn’t the same as people-pleasing!

But anyway, when you think carefully before you speak, you probably do it because a) you want people to like you and b) you like being liked.

You aren’t a rude person when you’re not a people pleaser.

But you don’t watch your words as much as when you are one.

You know that if someone is really your friend, they’ll accept that you have different opinions.

They’ll even accept if you say the “wrong” thing every now and then!

9) They’re slightly judgmental

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if you’re always over-analzing your words before speaking, you’re probably the first to judge others when they say the wrong thing!

It’s why and how you’ve learned to think things through so carefully.

So you don’t end up being like (or known to be like) other people you’ve encountered in the past.

Like if you ever heard someone talk trash about a country and thought they sounded gross for doing it, you’d forever choose your words carefully when it came to sharing your own views about said country. And so on…

10) They’re assuming

Another trait you have when you choose your words carefully is being a little too prejudiced!

Not in an overly toxic way.

But in the sense that you’re an assuming person.

You assume the worst of certain words and the best in others.

You assume people will act a certain way when you say one thing and a different way when you say another.

I’ll bet that sometimes people have thrown you off guard when you’ve said something before though, right?

That’s because people are unique and everyone responds to things differently.

Just because one person was offended in the past by something you said, that doesn’t mean everyone will be!

In the same way that just because someone was happy or convinced by something, that doesn’t mean everyone will have the same response.

When you adopt more of an open mind about people, you probably won’t overthink your words or choose them carefully quite as much…

Final thoughts

So, is it bad to choose your words carefully before you say anything at all?

For the most part, no it isn’t.

It’s actually pretty smart of you! It shows you have strong emotional intelligence, high empathy, and a pretty good sense of self

But there’s a fine line between good and bad, if you haven’t already figured.

Some of these traits (like being a people pleaser or an overthinker) aren’t that great at all.

Yet they’re all traits that are attributed to people who think carefully before speaking.

The more you engage in this behavior, the more you’re feeding these not-so-positive traits as well as the positive ones.

You’re also filtering yourself more than perhaps you should – as you could end up forming more genuine connections with people the more honest you are.

So the next time you’re pondering your thoughts so much it’s plaguing you, maybe just go ahead and say what you’re thinking.

What’s the worst that can happen, after all?

Amy Reed

Amy Reed is a content writer from London working with international brands. As an empath, she loves sharing her life insights to help others. When she’s not writing, she enjoys a simple life of reading, gardening, and making a fuss over her two cats.

7 habits of classy people that leave a lasting impression, according to psychology

8 signs a man sees you as his soulmate, according to psychologists