Cat Harper
Have you ever noticed that there’s a difference between someone being good-looking and being attractive? I know it sounds strange but hear me out.
Everyone knows a conventionally good-looking guy or girl when they see one, right? There are some nuances but generally, they fit a certain stereotype. Then you’ve got people who are very attractive but not conventionally good-looking.
It’s hard to explain but there’s something special about these people that make them attractive to others. But if it’s not their appearance, then what is it?
Surprisingly, it’s their behavior. I’ve been fascinated by what draws us to others and have discovered that certain behaviors make people incredibly appealing, even if they don’t fit traditional beauty standards.
If you’re keen to understand which behaviors make people who aren’t typically good-looking, super attractive keep reading. We’re about to dive into exactly what those behaviors are. Let’s see how many of them come naturally to you already.
Let’s get started.
1) They’ve got charisma
Charisma is pretty hard to define. It’s like some people just have something about them that makes you want to be around them, you know?
It’s a mix of the energy they give out, what they say, and how they act. And then there’s a sprinkle of magic that brings it together. I still remember the first time I met someone with real charisma. Their whole aura was incredible like they were radiating good vibes.
Some people think when it comes to charisma, you’ve either got it or you don’t. Others believe it can be learned. Either way, one thing’s for sure; when you meet someone with real charisma you’ll know instantly and you’ll remember them.
Very often, people who aren’t conventionally good-looking but are still really attractive, have endless charisma. It draws people to them, gives them influence, and makes them desirable to all.
2) They show empathy and compassion for others
Have you ever noticed how sometimes you’ll see someone and you won’t think much of them initially but once you get to know them, you’re so attracted to them?
Here’s the thing: as you get to know them, you realize they’ve got empathy and compassion for others. Studies show that behaving with compassion and empathy makes someone more attractive to others.
If you’re a naturally kind, loving, and compassionate person then good news, regardless of your physical appearance you’re automatically a more attractive mate. And guess what?
If compassion doesn’t come so naturally to you, all hope is not lost. Experts agree you can develop it by meditating. “Researchers have discovered more proof that meditation can reshape neural networks linked to compassion” notes health writer Christopher Bergland.
When someone is attractive but not good-looking, chances are they’re compassionate and show empathy to others regularly.
3) They’re always genuine and authentic
As a kid, I always found it strange when I heard someone say “Be yourself”. I’d think to myself “Who else could I be? What does that even mean?”.
As I’ve grown up I’ve realized that being genuinely and authentically yourself is simple in theory but really tough to pull off. No matter how much you want to be true to yourself, you subconsciously wear different masks to suit different situations.
That’s probably why when someone is genuine and authentic, it’s incredibly attractive. It doesn’t matter that they’re not good-looking in a traditional way, they’re so much more.
She doesn’t fit in with traditional beauty standards, but P!nk has redefined what beauty and attraction mean by always being genuine and authentic. She’s won the hearts and minds of fans worldwide and was even the face of People Magazine’s ‘Most Beautiful’ edition in 2018.
Turns out: being the type of person who’s not afraid to always be yourself, no matter who’s watching is a behavior that lots of attractive but not conventionally good-looking people share. Sometimes being attractive is as much about what’s on the inside as what’s on the outside.
4) They’ve got great banter and don’t take themselves too serious
Is there anything sexier than a guy (or girl) with a killer sense of humor? Not according to most women.
77% of women rated a sense of humor as their number 1 must-have trait in a partner in a recent survey by Men’s Health. Studies have also found that laughter plays a key role in starting and maintaining romantic relationships.
There’s no doubt about it: having good banter goes a long way in making someone attractive even if they’re not conventionally good-looking. I’ve seen this in action in my own life.
At a friend’s wedding, the best man wasn’t stereotypically good-looking. But he made a speech during the wedding ceremony that had the entire audience bent over laughing. In only 2-3 minutes his level of attraction skyrocketed.
Even though he wasn’t stereotypically gorgeous, his sense of humor and comedic timing made him super attractive.
It’s not just him: having a sense of humor and not taking themselves too seriously is a common behavior among people who are attractive but don’t fit conventional beauty standards
5) They’re quietly confident
There’s something really appealing about people who lead with quiet confidence, isn’t there? It’s like their confidence comes from within and underpins all of their behaviors.
They know who they are and what they’re worth. They don’t need lots of external validation from others. Their sense of worth is rooted in their values and beliefs. They’re assertive and self-assured in everything they do, but they’re not cocky or obnoxious.
It’s like these confident and self-assured characters have a magnetic pull, attracting others, no matter how they look on the outside. This level of confidence, makes people see beyond what’s on the surface.
I’ve been drawn to men based on their confidence alone many times. I once dated a guy who wasn’t my type at all but it was his confidence that grabbed my attention and had me falling for him hook line and sinker.
The fact that confidence is really attractive is just another reason why it’s always worthwhile to work on yourself and build up your confidence and self-esteem.
6) They make others feel at ease
Have you ever met someone who instantly makes you feel comfortable? It’s like their presence has a calming effect on you and it just feels good to be around them.
People who naturally put others at ease like this usually have good social skills and are highly emotionally intelligent. They can understand themselves and others which allows them to know exactly what people need.
This ability to make others feel relaxed is often seen in individuals who may not fit the typical standards of beauty but possess a magnetic charm based on their emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills. You can’t help but enjoy being around them, making them really attractive.
Final thoughts
The common theme that’s coming through here is that attractive people, who are not traditionally good-looking, engage in behaviors that show who they really are and have a positive impact on those around them.
This highlights that there’s a lot more to being attractive than your looks. If you want to be desirable to others, developing some of the behaviors we’ve discussed today will go a long way in helping you to achieve that goal.
