Adrian Volenik
For many, work not only provides income but also a sense of fulfillment, social interaction, and structure to their lives.
When that part of their life abruptly comes to an end, they can’t get on their feet quickly enough, especially if they didn’t prepare for their golden years.
They grapple with a void and struggle to find meaningful activities to fill their time.
Additionally, financial concerns, health issues, and changes in social dynamics also contribute to this dissatisfaction during retirement.
So, let’s see what behaviors unhappy retirees display, often without realizing it.
1) Social withdrawal
Many retirees start looking back at their work years with nostalgia and only remember the good times.
Like those impromptu chats by the coffee machine or going for drinks after work. They don’t think about all the stress and time they lost while commuting, for example.
It’s true that the absence of these interactions can create a sense of isolation, making them miss the camaraderie they had at work.
If they don’t make the effort to find new friends, reconnect with their existing ones, or spend more time with their families, they withdraw socially and spend too much time alone.
And that’s almost never a good thing.
2) Feeling purposeless
When their daily grind no longer involves work, some find themselves questioning their purpose.
If they don’t have clear goals anymore, they’re left wondering, “What am I really contributing now?”
And that’s not a good mindset. Retirees have a lot to contribute to society because they have a wealth of knowledge, experience, and time.
There’s community service, mentorship and coaching, consulting, tutoring, advocacy and activism, artistic and cultural pursuits, local politics, and so on. There’s something for anyone here.
I know of a former airline pilot who now stocks shelves part-time at a store. Not because he needs money, but because he wants to stay active, have contact with many other people, and because it’s stress-free for him.
3) Loss of identity
Too many people let their careers define them. They’ve invested years of education, training, and hard work into building their careers.
The pursuit of professional goals and accomplishments also comes with a sense of pride and purpose.
That’s why, once they retire, they find themselves grappling with questions like, “Who am I now?”
They struggle to find alternative sources of fulfillment that can match the sense of achievement they experienced in their careers.
It also leads them to feel unappreciated.
4) Feeling unappreciated
Yes, feeling unappreciated is another significant source of dissatisfaction for retirees, especially if they felt valued and respected in their professional lives.
It’s something I can certainly understand because the recognition, respect, and validation that come with work accomplishments disappear very quickly.
I remember when my dad retired ten years ago. While still working, he and some of his colleagues would come for lunch at our place because their workplace was so close and our home had a more relaxed atmosphere.
After he retired, they kept coming for a couple of weeks, but then, sure enough, no one came anymore.
I can’t even imagine what that must have felt. I’m sure it was a shock, and it was just another way that his daily routine was upended.
5) Lack of routine
I still remember how, when I was on school break during Summer, not having a set schedule meant days would blur into each other. It didn’t really matter if it was a Monday, Wednesday, or Saturday.
So, imagine going from a set schedule and clear tasks every day to suddenly having a lot of free time with no real plan. You feel lost for quite some time, right?
A sense of routine is important for having a sense of purpose, structure, identity, mental health, and many other important things.
This change simply throws people off balance, and some feel a bit lost or unsure about how to fill their time meaningfully.
6) Financial stress
It’s a normal but also shocking fact that many, too many people find themselves retired without almost any savings and with meager pensions or social security payments.
In most cases, retirement savings are simply insufficient to maintain their desired standard of living.
That means that for them, the golden years are anything but as they struggle to make ends meet and even have to go back to work. Not because they want to, but because they have to!
So, retirement often comes with financial adjustments for the worse. Suddenly, every expense seems more significant and worries about stretching the budget result in sleepless nights.
This, in turn, can have many negative effects on health, too.
7) Health neglect
It’s important to stay healthy at any age, but even more so at old age when some minor illnesses or injuries can get complicated.
That’s why skipping walks, gym sessions, or neglecting doctor visits shouldn’t become a common occurrence. But often it does.
And while my mom only started exercising when she retired and had more time and, frankly, the willpower to do so, my dad wasn’t as diligent, unfortunately.
I’ve also noticed that they sometimes have a defeatist and even nihilist mindset, and that’s worrying, of course.
8) Boredom
My parents have a big house they built in their prime and it comes with a big garden filled with potatoes, strawberries, beans, cabbage, and other fruits and veg.
And you know what that means, right? They spend a lot of time tending to this garden, meaning they don’t often get bored.
They also have an amazing social life, visit their friends almost every day, and go to dance parties on weekends.
I’m often envious of their social skills, but then I remember I’m an introvert and don’t like spending a lot of my free time with other people.
Still, a surplus of free time can sometimes lead to staring at the walls for some retirees, wondering what to do next. Even hobbies and interests might not be filling the void as expected.
They obviously need to make a change in that case. So, why not downsize and move closer to their family or travel the world a bit if their health permits?
9) Resisting change
Embracing a new pace of life can be challenging. That’s why, if they’re not careful, retirees can be stuck in old habits that no longer serve them.
Cognitive biases, like the status quo bias or loss aversion, can influence their decision-making processes and lead them to resist change, even when it’s beneficial in the long run.
Retirees, therefore, cling to familiar routines and habits out of a desire to avoid perceived losses or discomfort associated with change.
Above all, they need to acknowledge and validate their feelings of uncertainty, fear, and discomfort associated with retirement.
10) Sleeping troubles
When my mom retired, suddenly, she had a lot of trouble falling asleep. She obviously wasn’t as tired at night, so she couldn’t fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning.
That meant she’d still wake up at the same time as before, but this time around, it meant she was dead tired in the morning.
Of course, she didn’t have to get up that early, but that was one of the only constants in her life and she didn’t want to part with it too.
So, for many, nights that used to be restful become restless, and without the structured rhythm of a workday, their sleep patterns get haywire.
Final thoughts
Without a doubt, retirement represents a major life transition marked by significant changes in daily routines, social interactions, and personal identity.
That’s why it’s okay to take your time figuring out what works best for you in retirement. In the end, it’s all about finding a balance that brings joy and meaning to your days, whether it’s through hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or exploring new interests.
