Kiran Athar
People who are genuinely content in their marriage don’t get there just by luck.
They actually work at it every single day. Through little things like showing their appreciation, having fun, and supporting each other, they create a healthy, happy marriage.
So, interested in finding out more about these habits?
Let’s dive in:
1) They’re always interested in each other’s days
Here’s the scenario:
You walk in through the front door and your spouse gets up to greet you. You shower and change, and settle on the sofa to tell each other all about how your day has been and the latest office drama.
This is the scene of two happily married people.
They don’t grunt at each other when getting home, spending hours scrolling on their phones and ignoring each other.
Instead, they communicate.
And yes, they do that every single day. It doesn’t stop at discussing their days, it also extends to their feelings, desires, and needs.
2) They spend quality time together engaging in activities they both enjoy
Not every couple has the same interests. But in a happy marriage, that won’t stop them from finding things in common to enjoy together.
Even if it’s just going for an evening stroll every day or cooking together.
Since we both work from home, my husband and I like to enjoy our morning coffee on the porch – that’s our time to spend together before we get busy with work and errands.
But ultimately, it doesn’t matter where or what they do. A couple that enjoys being together will find time – actually, they’ll make time – to spend together.
3) They regularly express appreciation and gratitude for each other
In other words, they don’t take each other for granted.
When one brings a cup of tea, the other will always say, “Thank you”.
And oftentimes, they’ll make acknowledgments of the chores/responsibilities their spouse has in the house.
For example – in my household, I do the cleaning while my husband does the cooking.
He doesn’t have to thank me for keeping the house in order, but he does. Even if it’s just a quick peck on the cheek to say thanks for folding away his clothes or restocking the toothpaste.
It’s the acknowledgment of the little things that makes someone feel valued and appreciated.
4) They maintain physical closeness through gestures like holding hands, hugging, and kissing
Romance doesn’t have to die just because you’ve tied the knot!
That’s right – happily married couples make sure to show affection every single day.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re not French kissing on the sidewalk but they will use physical touch to comfort, reassure, or simply show love to their spouse.
In fact, I’ve done my own little study on this. My parents are sadly not in a happy marriage (they just tolerate each other) and I’ve never seen them physically greet each other.
On the otherhand, I’ve watched numerous cousins and friends who are happy in their marriages, and one thing they all do?
Give each other a hug and a kiss whenever one walks through the front door. If they’re sitting together, you can bet they’ll be holding hands or they’ve got an arm around each other.
This just shows the level of closeness between two people.
5) They offer support to each other during both good times and bad
Life can be bumpy.
And that’s why happy couples know how important support is – during good times and bad.
If one person had a shitty day, the other will pick up the slack at home.
If one person gets a promotion, the other will be the first to celebrate.
Essentially, they take each other’s feelings into account. They don’t brush each other off or expect each other to deal with things alone, quite the opposite; they’re a team, and they act like it.
6) They show respect for each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries
Talking of taking each other’s feelings into account, people who are truly happy in their marriage will respect their spouse’s boundaries (and vice versa).
For example:
I like to decompress at the end of the day. My husband likes to chat and get going with dinner.
But he learned early on that it’s best to give me half an hour or so to chill, take a shower, or catch up on my messages before bombarding me with conversation.
And I love that about him.
Because ultimately, when you respect someone’s boundaries, you respect them.
7) They deal with disagreements and conflicts constructively
Instead of:
- Throwing temper tantrums
- Swearing or cursing at each other
- Playing the blame game
- Giving the cold shoulder
People who are happy in their marriage will try to navigate conflict by causing the least harm and hurt possible to their spouse.
They stick to the issue at hand (rather than bringing up arguments from five years ago), they don’t make it personal, and they always look for a solution.
8) They maintain their independence to contribute to a healthy relationship
Ah, this next point is so incredibly important.
A person who is truly happy in their marriage doesn’t feel the need to lose their identity.
They have their own friends, hobbies, and interests, and so does their spouse.
And because they have trust and communication, and they spend quality time together, it’s not an issue when one wants some alone time.
If anything, this strengthens the relationship.
I enjoy hiking, but my partner hasn’t been in the mood for it lately. So I’ve been going alone, and when I get back, I have plenty to tell him. He looks forward to hearing about my adventures.
But more than that, I come home energized, in a good mood, and ready to show up in my marriage.
9) They don’t forget to have fun together and laugh
Let’s not forget the importance of having fun!
Life can get busy, stressful, and heavy, so it’s important to be able to unwind and have a good laugh with your partner.
That’s something that people who are happy in their marriages do daily.
Whether it’s going out and finding fun things to do, or just relaxing at home and having some banter on the sofa while watching a film, couples who do this daily keep the spark alive.
They stop the marriage from getting too stuffy and serious.
Because let’s be honest – it’s the laughter and fun they had in the beginning that first attracted each other, so why lose that in the mix of marriage?
10) They practice forgiveness and understand the importance of moving past mistakes
In every marriage, there are going to be f*ck ups.
There’s no two ways around it – no one is perfect, and even with the best intentions, things can go wrong.
But people who are genuinely happy with their spouse won’t hold grudges.
That doesn’t mean they won’t hold their spouse accountable – they will. But once they’ve discussed the issue and put it to bed, they leave it there.
They don’t use it as a weapon to whip out two years down the line. They don’t use it to make their partner feel bad for weeks on end.
This forgiveness is what keeps the couple happy and strong.
11) They keep the relationship fresh and exciting with surprises and spontaneous acts of love
And finally, they never stop making an effort.
I’m not talking about grand gestures here – I’m referring to the small, everyday things that keep a couple in love.
My husband loves to randomly take my hand and start dancing around the house.
I leave little notes hidden in his notebooks or jacket pockets for him to randomly find, just with a simple message saying I love him or appreciate him.
I recently found a huge collection of them that he’s been keeping for the last 6 years, and it was lovely to see how much he valued these notes (usually scribbled on the back of an envelope).
But that’s just it – the small things.
In a marriage, when done daily, they count for so much.
