Pearl Nash
I’m laying it all out for you: welcome to my love life.
I’m proud to tell you that as of six months ago, I am officially basking in the glory of my very first grown-up, drama-free relationship.
It only took me turning 30 to get there—as well as a whole trove of toxic exes—but I made it.
Yep, you heard that right. With this lovely person there is no picking fights over every little thing and guess what? There’s none of the usual jealousy. Instead there’s trust.
But let me tell you, it wasn’t always this good. Back in my twenties, I found myself knee-deep in toxic relationships.
But guess what? I’m living proof that things can turn around completely. Going from toxic relationships to this feels like a bonafide glow-up.
It’s like a breath of fresh air, knowing I can fully count on my partner and in turn, they can count on me.
So here’s to breaking free from toxic ties and embracing a relationship that’s all about trust and respect. Oh, and here’s how to do it!
Below you’ll find the behaviors authentically happy couples will never exhibit, starting with the thief of joy: comparison.
1) They don’t compare their relationship to other relationships
Your relationship is one-of-a-kind—and that’s a wonderful thing.
Think about it. It’s a special blend of inside jokes, intimate moments, and quirky conversations that make it all yours.
So it wouldn’t at all make sense to compare it to someone else’s, right? Measuring yours against another is like comparing chalk and cheese.
Those genuinely happy in their romantic relationships understand that what they see on the surface of others’ relationships is their own set of challenges and flaws.
True happiness in a relationship is about embracing your unique path and life together.
2) They don’t tear down their partner
Being overly critical of your partner is one way to obliterate this beautiful bond you’ve worked so hard to create.
Happy couples simply do not do this! They get that relationships require nurture and growth, which goes hand in hand with the power of positive reinforcement.
When you shower someone with praise and admiration, they’re motivated to do even better because they feel truly appreciated and supported.
Authentic joy in a relationship comes from creating a safe space where both partners can be vulnerable without fearing judgment or a harsh critique.
You want to aim to be the supportive hand that helps your partner up, not the one delivering the blow.
3) They don’t avoid handling and resolving conflict
Love is great, but what happens when conflict arises? Well, that’s when the real work begins.
Whether it’s about domestic chores or the question of whether to have kids or not, genuinely happy folks in relationships don’t play hide and seek with conflict.
They don’t dodge it because they know full well that conflicts aren’t the enemy, rather, they’re opportunities for heightened growth and understanding.
Sorting conflict means learning more about each other, striking common ground, and constructing a bond that stands the test of time.
If you find yourself in a partnership where conflicts are embraced, tackled, and conquered, you’re likely in a very happy place—and that’s something to be super proud of!
4) They don’t try to change their partner
Those who are content in a relationship don’t try to change their partner.
This is because real happiness stems from acceptance, not a huge quest for transformation. Trying to reshape your partner isn’t fair. Nope, not at all.
After all, isn’t the essence of love rooted in the uniqueness of your partner, weird flaws and all?
It’s in this way that attempting a personality makeover is not only futile, it’s actually a surefire way to insert resentment and frustration into your love.
Why? Because it implies a subtle lack of respect for your partner’s autonomy and individuality.
Happy couples know that love isn’t about fixing someone—it’s about growing with them. Isn’t that sweet?
5) They don’t look for faults when they aren’t there
This brings me to my next point. Relationship satisfaction isn’t about re-shaping your partner into a perfect person: it’s about appreciating the wild and wacky blend of traits that define them.
Actively plucking out faults that don’t exist is unproductive, plus it leads to a whole lot of needless tension.
People who are genuinely in love get this 100% and prefer to invest their time and energy in building each other instead of tearing each other down.
It’s all about letting go of all that inconsequential stuff.
The next time you find yourself scrutinizing your partner for non-existent faults, stop and think: Is this adding to our happiness, or am I merely making up problems?
6) They don’t pick unnecessary fights
When you’re truly happy with your partner, there’s a level of understanding and acceptance that solidifies your connection.
So why would anyone want to disrupt that peaceful balance by starting an unnecessary fight?
If you’re genuinely content, you’ve likely mastered the art of compromise and healthy communication.
You’ve navigated through disagreements before, and each challenge has only strengthened your bond. It aint your first rodeo.
So, why risk all that work by squabbling over who left the milk cap off or forgot to take out the rubbish?
The last thing a happy couple seeks to do is add unnecessary tension by initiating a conflict that serves no purpose.
Instead, they channel their energy into nurturing the relationship’s positive aspects.
7) They don’t get overly jealous or possessive
Enter the green-eyed monster. Uh oh. Excessive jealousy or possessiveness can ruin even the happiest of pairs. Ever read Othello?
When someone is actually happy with you, they aren’t obsessively monitoring your every move or asserting dominance over you—this is counterproductive behavior.
When you’ve built a foundation of trust and respect, both partners are able to thrive individually, secure in the knowledge that their love will go the extra mile.
Final thoughts
To sum things up, happy couples know the real value of trust, respect, and kindness.
These folks sure as hell won’t waste their precious energy, and time together, on matters such as being overly critical or possessive.
They also won’t try to change or reshape their partner into someone they’d rather be with—plus they don’t look to other people’s relationships for validation.
They embrace each other, and their relationship, as wonderfully and imperfectly unique.
