People who are truly confident never use these 9 phrases in a conversation

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Confidence – it’s a trait we all admire and strive for. But what does it really mean to be confident? Here’s the secret: it’s not just about what you say, it’s also about what you don’t say.

True confidence is about authenticity and honesty, not about trying to impress or control others. And if you listen closely, truly confident people have a unique language. It’s not filled with self-doubt, show off, or hidden agendas.

In fact, there are certain phrases that you will never hear from someone who is genuinely confident. Let’s dive into the conversation and explore these nine phrases that truly confident people steer clear of.

1) “I’m sorry, but…”

The phrase “I’m sorry, but…” can sometimes indicate a lack of confidence. Why is that?

It’s because it often precedes a statement where the speaker is expressing their opinion. And why should you be apologetic for expressing your opinion?

The use of “I’m sorry” in this context can imply an unnecessary apology or an attempt to soften the impact of their words.

Confident individuals typically express their thoughts or opinions directly without feeling the need to apologize for having a perspective. They are more likely to state their ideas or opinions with clarity and assertiveness, without using qualifying language that might undermine their message.

Having said that, context matters.

There are situations where saying “I’m sorry” is entirely appropriate, such as when offering genuine apologies for mistakes or expressing empathy.

However, when used habitually before expressing one’s thoughts or ideas, it can suggest a lack of confidence in the validity of those thoughts or ideas.

2) “I can’t do it”

We all have moments of self-doubt and hesitation, but uttering the phrase “I can’t do it” is not something truly confident individuals do.  

Let me share a personal example. I remember I was asked to give a keynote speech at a major event. Public speaking wasn’t my strongest suit and the mere thought of it made me nervous. My initial instinct was to say, “I can’t do it.” But then I realized that by saying so, I was limiting my own growth.

Instead, I said, “I’ll give it my best shot.” I spent the next few weeks preparing for the speech, practicing in front of friends, family, and even the mirror. The day of the event, I was still nervous but I stepped onto that stage and delivered my speech. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a huge personal victory.

The point is, confident people don’t let their awareness of their limitations dictate their actions.  Instead of saying “I can’t”, they say “I’ll try”. They view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, not as insurmountable obstacles.

3) “They’re better than me”

Confidence is about having a secure sense of self-worth. That’s why truly confident people never compare themselves with others. The phrase “they’re better than me” suggests a lack of self-esteem and can lead to feelings of inferiority. 

The truth is, each one of us is unique and brings a different set of skills and experiences to the table. Comparing ourselves to others is not only unfair but also unproductive. It can even take a toll on our mental health, according to research.

Instead of measuring yourself against others, confident people focus on their personal growth and self-improvement. 

4) “It’s not my fault”

It’s true: saying sorry too often suggests a lack of confidence. But you’ll never hear a truly confident person say, “It’s not my fault.”

Confident souls don’t shift responsibilities. If any, they’re the type who pass the credit and take the blame if it benefits everyone. Pointing fingers and blaming others is a sign of insecurity and lack of confidence. It shows an inability to accept one’s shortcomings and learn from them.

On the other hand, taking responsibility shows strength of character, maturity, and yes – confidence. It shows that you are not afraid to admit your mistakes and learn from them. 

5) “I know it all”

There’s a common misconception that confidence equates to knowing everything. But the truth is, truly confident people never claim to “know it all.”

This phrase indicates not just arrogance, but also a closed mind. It shuts down the opportunity for learning, growth, and new perspectives.

Confident people understand that there is always room for improvement and learning. They are open to new ideas and experiences. They are not afraid to ask questions or seek help when they don’t know something.

6) “I’m not good enough”

This is a phrase that truly confident people have eradicated from their vocabulary.

“I’m not good enough” reflects self-doubt and diminishes self-worth. It’s a self-defeating prophecy that stops us from reaching our full potential.

It’s heartbreaking to see how often we limit ourselves with this belief. We all have unique talents, abilities, and strengths that make us ‘good enough’ for any challenge or opportunity that comes our way.

Confident individuals recognize their worth. They know their value does not decrease based on someone else’s inability to see their worth. They believe in themselves, even when others don’t.

7) “I’m a failure”

The phrase “I’m a failure” is another one that confident people avoid. Failure is not a permanent state, but rather a stepping stone towards success.

I remember a time in my life when I found myself repeatedly using this phrase. I had just lost my job and felt completely defeated. But then, I realized that I was letting a single setback define me.

Confident people don’t see failure as the end of the road. They view it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and bounce back stronger. They understand that everyone fails at some point, and it’s how we respond to these failures that truly defines us.

Changing my perspective on failure helped me turn the situation around. Instead of dwelling on the loss, I focused on what I could learn from the experience. This shift in mindset didn’t just help me find a new job – it made me a more resilient person.

8) “I don’t deserve this”

True confidence comes with knowing your worth, and that’s why you’ll never hear a truly confident person say, “I don’t deserve this.” This phrase reflects self-doubt and undermines self-esteem.

Whether it’s about a promotion, a compliment, or even love, confident individuals believe that they are deserving of all the good things that come their way. They don’t belittle their accomplishments or discount their strengths.

On the contrary, they acknowledge their efforts, embrace their achievements, and are grateful for their blessings. They know that they are deserving of respect, success, and happiness.

9) “It’s too late for me”

One of the most defeatist things to say is “It’s too late for me.” Think about it: it’s the verbal equivalent of slamming the door on possibilities. 

And that’s why you’ll never hear those words escaping the lips of truly confident souls. They understand that it’s never too late to learn, grow, change, or pursue your dreams. They hold on to the conviction that their best days are still ahead of them.

The truth is, it’s only too late when you decide it is. Your life is yours to live, and every day presents a new opportunity for growth and change.  

Final thoughts: The power of positive self-talk

The way we talk to ourselves plays a significant role in shaping our self-perception and overall confidence.

The phrases we’ve discussed are reflective of negative self-talk, which can hinder our growth, limit our potential, and deflate our confidence. By consciously replacing these phrases with more constructive and empowering language, we can cultivate true confidence.

So, as we conclude this conversation, I invite you to reflect on your own self-talk. Are there any phrases that you could eliminate or replace? What steps can you take towards fostering true confidence? Because at the end of the day, your words shape your reality.

Choose them wisely.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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