Roselle Umlas
It’s no secret that being at peace is all about what’s happening on the inside. Spotting someone who’s got it all figured out isn’t always easy because they don’t exactly go around declaring it to the world.
But if you’re really observant, you’re going to notice a few things. You’ll see certain behaviors that give them an air of quiet contentment.
And you know what? That chill vibe is quite infectious! I have a few friends who’ve gotten to a place of inner peace, and I always feel calm when I’m with them.
Curious to know what these behaviors are? You’re in the right place then.
Here are 12 behaviors people who are truly at peace in life often display unconsciously. Hopefully, they’ll inspire you as much as they have me.
Let’s dive in!
1) They stop obsessing over material things
The first thing you’ll probably notice is that people who are truly at peace don’t place so much importance on material possessions.
They like nice things, sure, and of course, let’s be realistic – money is important to have a decent life in this world.
But the difference is, their happiness isn’t tied to that. They don’t have to have the latest gadgets, a wardrobe to die for, or fancy cars.
Because they’ve already arrived at this one important truth: inner peace is a matter of the soul, not environment.
Does this sound too naive for you? Then I’d like to give you Mike Tyson, who surprisingly declared in an interview that his time in prison was the best three years of his life.
The interviewer then told him, “That’s interesting for you to say that, bro. Because you had millions.”
And Tyson goes, “I have peace, though.” And he goes on to say, “That (his money) don’t mean nothing when you don’t have peace.”
Imagine that revelation – peace in prison? If you ask me, the only thing missing in that interview was a mic drop!
2) They can say “no” without feeling guilty or overexplaining
Being at peace also means knowing what you want and don’t want in life. And that involves having good boundaries. Plus an unapologetic attitude about it.
That’s why people who have inner peace can say “no” without all the hand-wringing and overexplaining that come with it.
It’s a skill I’ve come to learn more and more over the years. And believe me, it has a really huge benefit – freedom. It freed up so much of my time and energy, and it released me from the habit of people-pleasing.
When I say “no” to things I’d rather not do, it’s a statement of intentionality. It says, I’m in control of my life, and this is how I want to live it.
3) They make time for “me” time
Another habit that people who are truly at peace in life do is to carve out time for themselves.
You see, that’s crucial in maintaining inner peace. The world can be so noisy and distracting that it can rob us of our sanity if we’re not careful.
But for people with inner peace, this habit just comes naturally. They may not even realize it, they just instinctively do it because by now, they’re quite in tune with what their soul needs.
4) They don’t take themselves too seriously
One of the most refreshing traits I’ve come to admire in people who are truly at peace is their ability to not take themselves too seriously.
They have this lightness about them, a sense of humor that makes any situation better.
It might look like a very carefree attitude, but there’s actually a lot of wisdom behind this.
You see, people who are at peace understand yet another truth – life is too short to get bogged down by every little slip-up! Or to always be tense about how others perceive them.
They accept who they are – flaws and all – and live each day with authenticity. It’s just a brighter and more enjoyable way to live.
The beauty of it is, because they don’t judge themselves, they also don’t do this next thing…
5) They don’t judge other people
How can they, when they know how flawed they themselves are?
And why would they, when they know that all of us are in this together, just trying to keep our heads above water and living life in our own fumbling ways?
This old saying applies here – “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Truth is, grace flows naturally from people who are at peace. It really is what I love most about my friends who’ve nailed the art of zen.
What’s more, they probably don’t even realize it; it’s just the natural happenstance of living life with peace and kindness.
6) Smiling comes naturally to them
Another thing that just comes naturally to them, with no conscious effort, is smiling.
Yes, smiling is simple, yet it’s so hard for some of us to do, isn’t it? When life is hard and there are thousands of things to worry about, smiling is the last thing we want to do.
But people who are at peace just effortlessly do it – no reservations. Smiling is simply a natural reflection of a peaceful inner state.
I suppose it’s easy to do that when you carry around a secret source of joy. This brings me to my next point…
7) They practice gratitude
That secret source of joy? An attitude of gratitude practice.
Inner peace happens when you have much to be thankful about. It’s a state of contentment and happiness, regardless of your circumstances.
It’s knowing that there are enough blessings for everyone to go around. And that there’s no need to be stingy, disgruntled, or worried that there’d be none left for you.
What if you truly feel like there’s not much to be grateful for? Like you got the short end of stick in life?
I’d encourage starting a gratitude journal. Again, this is a statement of intentionality. You set out to examine your life – use an imaginary microscope if you have to – and see just how much you already have.
When you constantly look at your life through that lens, gratitude is eventually going to become second nature to you. You won’t even realize how you’ve developed a fresh, positive perspective in life.
8) They have a good balance of making things happen and letting things happen
Speaking of perspective, people who are at peace have a balanced one. They live life in equal terms of going after what they want and letting life unfold naturally.
Easier said than done, I know. But to get there, you must first accept yet another harsh truth – it’s impossible to control everything.
I’ve started to apply this principle in my own life, and it’s been incredibly freeing. I am a planner and I always will be, but I’m learning to step back at a certain point to allow things to happen as they will.
Simply put, I’m learning to trust the process. To trust myself as well. That’s a key ingredient in achieving this peaceful balance.
9) They’re okay with not knowing everything
This is closely connected to what I’ve been saying about trust and knowing how to let things happen naturally.
People who are at peace can do that because they’re okay with uncertainty, just as they are with not having complete control.
Let’s face it – it is impossible to know everything anyway. So why not just lean into it and see it from a different angle, like maybe it holds some surprises for you, right?
That way, the unknown becomes something exciting instead of scary. And so then…
10) They don’t worry
Put all of those behaviors I mentioned earlier – being okay with uncertainty and trusting themselves – and you’ve got a recipe for worry-free days.
It all sounds so breezy, right? But the reality is, chucking those worries out the window is insanely hard to do.
As a former overthinker, it took me ages to break this habit. Catastrophic thinking was my default mode.
It was very hard to break out of that, but I managed to do it. These days, I even surprise myself sometimes by saying, “Oh, it will be fine,” about issues that the old me would’ve agonized about.
All throughout, these questions helped me: “Is this something I can change or control? If not, why worry?”
11) They handle challenges gracefully
And if things do end up horribly wrong…well, still no worries.
People who are at peace face challenges with grace. They’ve got a good old set of techniques to help them stay centered:
- Staying positive and focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem
- Deep breathing to manage stress and keep a clear head
- Seek support when they need it
- Breaking the challenge down into manageable steps
- Reflecting and learning from the situation
Challenges are a part of life, and not even people who are at peace are immune to them.
But with these strategies, they can overcome their problems with resilience and optimism.
12) They enjoy each moment as it comes
Finally, people with inner peace don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future too much. So, what do they focus on? The present.
The simple joys right in front of them.
Learning to slow down and savor the moment has brought me so much peace and a sense of contentment.
I am present to make memories with my loved ones. I appreciate life’s tiny gifts like a hummingbird stopping by my plants in the garden, or curling up on the couch with my husband for an episode of Brooklyn 99…
My point is, it doesn’t take much to have inner peace. But it does take mindfulness. Otherwise, you’d be missing a lot of the beauty and richness life has to offer.
