Mia Zhang
It’s often said actions speak louder than words, but sometimes, the phrases we use can reveal more about our personality than we realize.
In particular, those who are self-absorbed often unconsciously use specific expressions that betray their egocentric mindset.
These phrases can have substantial, sometimes detrimental, impact on those around them.
In this article, we’ll explore seven common phrases that self-absorbed individuals frequently use.
Recognizing these phrases and the effects they have is a crucial step towards understanding and dealing with self-absorption in our daily lives.
1) “I know, but…”
Starting a sentence with “I know, but…” is a frequent habit of self-absorbed individuals.
This phrase subtly dismisses the other person’s perspective, implying that the speaker’s viewpoint or experience is more valid or important.
It becomes problematic when used consistently, as it stifles open dialogue and can make others feel unheard or invalidated. This lack of empathy and understanding is a hallmark of self-absorption.
The impact of this phrase on the listener can be substantial. It may lead to feelings of frustration, insignificance, or even resentment.
Over time, it can erode the quality of the relationship.
Addressing this behavior can be as simple as bringing it to their attention. Often, self-absorbed individuals aren’t fully aware of how their words are being perceived.
By shedding light on the issue, you’re giving them an opportunity to reflect and adjust their communication style.
2) “Enough about you, let’s talk about me”
Another common phrase used by self-absorbed people is “Enough about you, let’s talk about me”.
Although it may not always be stated so directly, the sentiment is often expressed subtly in conversations.
These individuals have a tendency to shift the focus back onto themselves, even when the discussion is supposed to be about someone else.
This phrase is a glaring indicator of self-absorption. It can make the listener feel disregarded and unimportant. It sends a message that their experiences, thoughts, and feelings are less valuable or interesting.
If you encounter this phrase, it’s important to establish boundaries.
While it’s okay to share experiences, a balanced conversation should involve mutual exchange and interest in each other’s stories.
3) “I’m not being selfish, you just don’t understand”
The phrase “I’m not being selfish, you just don’t understand” is another common statement made by self-absorbed individuals.
This is a deflection technique used to avoid taking responsibility for their selfish behavior, instead blaming the other person for not understanding.
Similar to the previous phrases, this one is a clear indicator of self-centredness. It shows an unwillingness to acknowledge one’s own flaws or mistakes, and a tendency to place blame on others instead.
Addressing such behavior requires firmness and clarity. It’s important to stand your ground and not allow yourself to be manipulated into feeling guilty for their actions.
4) “You’re too sensitive”
The phrase “You’re too sensitive” is often used by self-absorbed individuals as a way to invalidate others’ feelings.
They dismiss the emotional response of the person they’re interacting with, implying that any negative reactions are due to the other person’s overly sensitive nature, rather than their own behavior.
This phrase is a clear indication of a lack of empathy, one of the key characteristics of self-absorption.
It reflects an unwillingness to take responsibility for the impact of their words or actions.
When someone is repeatedly told they’re too sensitive, it can lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.
They may begin to question their emotional responses and become hesitant to express their feelings in future interactions.
Addressing this phrase requires assertiveness and self-affirmation.
It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid and you have the right to express them without being dismissed or belittled.
5) “I don’t care what others think”
While there’s a healthy level of self-confidence in not being overly swayed by others’ opinions, this phrase can often be a mask for dismissive behavior.
It’s an indication of a lack of consideration for others’ feelings or perspectives. It reflects an attitude of self-importance and disregard for the potential impact of their actions on others.
For those on the receiving end, it can feel like their thoughts and feelings are being disregarded. This can lead to feelings of insignificance and frustration, especially if this behavior is consistent.
Dealing with such individuals requires understanding and patience. It’s important to communicate how their words affect you and to set boundaries for respectful conversation.
6) “I can do it better”
The phrase “I can do it better” is another common utterance by self-absorbed individuals.
This statement is an assertion of superiority, often made without regard for the efforts or abilities of others. It displays an inflated sense of self-worth and a dismissive view of others’ capabilities.
If someone says this to you, it can be really off-putting. But it’s important to assert the value of your own contributions while also encouraging the individual to appreciate and respect the efforts of others.
7) “Why is this happening to me?”
The phrase “Why is this happening to me?” is often used by self-absorbed individuals when facing difficulties or challenges.
This statement reflects a self-victimizing attitude and a tendency to focus excessively on their own problems.
While everyone experiences difficulties, repeatedly asking this question indicates a preoccupation with oneself and lack of consideration for the struggles others might be facing.
I know just how draining it is to be around people who say this often, especially when you’re dealing with your own issues.
When interacting with such individuals, it’s important to encourage empathy and perspective-taking.
Reminding them that everyone faces challenges can help broaden their understanding and shift their focus away from themselves.
Dealing with self-absorption: Next steps
Having identified the common phrases used by self-absorbed individuals, the question now is, how do we deal with them effectively? How can we manage our interactions to maintain a healthy relationship and positive communication?
The first step is to set clear boundaries. It’s important to assert your own needs and feelings in the relationship.
If a conversation becomes one-sided or dismissive of your feelings, it’s okay to steer it back or express your discomfort.
Next, ensure open communication. If you feel their behavior is affecting your relationship, it might be helpful to have a frank discussion about it.
Often, self-absorbed individuals aren’t fully aware of how their words and actions impact others.
Finally, practice empathy but also self-care.
Understand that self-absorbed individuals might be dealing with their own insecurities or issues. However, it’s crucial to prioritize your own emotional health.
If a relationship becomes too draining or toxic, consider seeking support from a trusted individual or professional.
Remember, dealing with self-absorption can be challenging but understanding its manifestations and impacts is a significant stride towards handling it effectively.
