Life shoots you up and down more times than you can count.
But overall, the peace and the problems should somewhat balance one another out.
However, too many problems and not enough peace doesn’t bode well.
Because living in a world that’s always hustling and bustling, if you’re someone who can’t seem to find that inner calm, it can feel like you’re on a never-ending roller coaster ride.
If labels like ‘overthinker’ or ‘chronic worrier’ have been tossed your way, keep reading to learn more about the 8 subtle behaviors often displayed by those who are never at peace in life (without even realizing it).
Let’s find the peace that you deserve!
1) A constant state of worry
Things you are worried about:
- The future
- The past
- Your job
- Your friends
- Your partner
- Your lack of partner
- The end of the world
- Waking up
- Your hair
- Your parents
- Your hamster
You get it, the list goes on and on and never ends.
This constant state of worry drains your mental energy and leaves you feeling exhausted.
And sadly, your incessant worry can often be mistaken for overthinking or being negative.
People interpret your concern as being pessimistic or over-analytical, but in reality, it’s a sign that you’re struggling to find inner peace.
You’re not trying to focus only on the negatives; it’s just that your mind is perpetually in a state of unrest over absolutely anything.
Calling myself out on this one!
All those worries listed above, they get louder and louder the moment you try to head to sleep.
The more tired you are, the seemingly louder their shouting grows.
Cue a vicious cycle of exhaustion coupled with an inability to sleep.
It’s not that you don’t want to sleep, either. It’s just that your mind won’t let you.
You’re not intentionally a night owl; it’s just another sign of your internal struggle to find peace.
(P.S check out our tips on falling asleep faster here!)
3) Unable to wind down or relax
As we covered above, you likely struggle to fall asleep.
This partially because you cannot for the life of you seem to wind down from that constantly anxious high.
You could drink all the chamomile tea in the world, down bottles of cbd, have 10 scented candles burning at once, and you’d still feel anxious.
It’s not that you don’t want to relax or don’t know how to; it’s just that your mind is always in a state of turmoil, making relaxation a very difficult task indeed.
4) Incapable of letting go
The past being one thing always on your mind, you’re not someone to move on and let go all too easily…
Whether it’s past mistakes, lost opportunities, or heartbreaks, these experiences cling to you like shadows, refusing to leave your side.
You replay these scenarios in your mind like a broken tape, dissecting every detail, every word spoken, every choice made.
People might mistake this for being unable to move on, but it’s more complex than that.
You’re not intentionally holding onto the past, you just haven’t yet found the strength and peace to let go is a journey you’re still navigating.
5) Lusting after approval
You energy vampire, you!
Nothing makes you feel more filled up and content than someone giving you a compliment or tossing you a morsel of attention.
You live for validation, even though you don’t like admitting it…
People might mistake this for attention-seeking behavior, but it’s not about wanting to be in the spotlight. They just don’t understand how these compliments and niceties quieten your constant state of anxiety.
It’s also okay to want validation, especially because you’re not doing it for attention – you’re doing it as a part of your journey towards finding inner peace.
Just keep in mind that you can’t live off approval forever, and you’ll eventually need to learn how to live off self-love.
6) Forever on the move
Being so anxious and so worried, you try to appease your thoughts with to-do lists and events (when you’re not hunting for validation).
You swing from morning meeting, to spin class, to business appointments, to phone calls, back to work, to the school run, to a yoga class, a night class. You’re so run off your feet you stumble to and fro.
Some people look up to you and applaud this hectic lifestyle, but they don’t understand that you can’t stand still. Not even for a moment. Else the worry will just get louder and louder…
You’re not living life in the fast lane because it’s exciting, but because standing still means facing the hurricane within you (which only you know about).
7) Perfectionist tendencies
And that busy lifestyle is made all the more difficult by the fact that you’re so vehemently a perfectionist, you hate placing even one foot wrong.
You obsess over the things you think you can control to fool yourself into thinking you have control over everything (thus quieting your anxiety).
But in reality, nothing ever goes fully to plan and you wind yourself up by spending so much energy either worrying about or trying to control things far beyond your actual control.
Perfectionism grants you many benefits in having better attention to detail and higher goals.
Equally, it comes at a cost when we know that perfection doesn’t exist.
So keep aiming high but go easy on yourself; everyone makes mistakes, moreso when they’re teetering on a burnout.
8) Extremely self-critical
A painful duo is perfectionism and self-criticism, as you aim so high, then beat yourself up for never achieving those unrealistic goals.
You’re probably your own worst enemy.
You might accomplish something big and be lauded with praise, but you have one eye on the teensy tiny fault you made regardless.
Your inner critic is pretty savage. It tears into you, calling you hopeless and worthless and dumb.
People might mistake this self-criticism for humility or self-awareness, when in reality it’s more like self-sabotage.
You’d never speak to others the same way you let your own head speak to you.
So try and avoid being so hard on yourself. You’re not perfect, and that’s okay.
Start treating yourself with the same compassion you offer others – you’ll be surprised at what happens.
Pursuing peace (but not sure where to find it)
The weird thing in all of this is that you do actually want peace in your life.
You’re just not sure where to find it…
But chin up, you’ll get there.
The journey to finding peace within yourself is not a straightforward one, especially if you find similarities in all the points of worry listed above.
But Rome wasn’t built in a day, much in the same way that every step you take, every struggle you overcome, brings you one step closer.
So deep breathe and keep going. That resilience and determination you have within you unmatched and will take you for miles when facing inthe right direction.
Lost Your Sense of Purpose?
In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.
Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.
Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.
With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.
Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.