Clifton Kopp
Some people are just blessed with “confidence” genes. They’re the ones who are naturally confident since birth.
But while not everyone is as lucky as them, the good news is that confidence is both an innate trait and a skill.
That means that just like swimming and dancing, we can learn how to become confident.
If you want to exude genuine confidence, you have to pay attention to what naturally confident people do.
To help you along, I will enumerate 14 hallmark traits of naturally confident people.
1) They don’t try to get attention
Naturally confident people don’t crave attention. They don’t need it at all.
They don’t wear fancy clothes so people will look at them. They don’t speak loudly just so people will notice them.
And when someone is in the limelight, they won’t try to outshine them. Why would they?
They’re totally fine being on the sidelines. After all, they know their worth.
2) They don’t one-up others
They may be competitive, but they won’t do or say things just to show how much better they are…and that’s because they’re not insecure.
They don’t have the need to be seen as the best in anything.
So if someone says “OMG I’m going to Vietnam soon.”, they won’t go “Oh wow. I’m going to Iceland soon. What a coincidence. I’m so excited for us!”
Instead, they’ll focus on the other person and let them soak in their happiness.
3) They know they’re not perfect
People who are naturally confident aren’t the way they are because they’re smart, successful, and good-looking.
They have flaws, they’re imperfect, and they’re not yet as successful as they want to be…but they’re totally fine with it.
So they don’t get offended if others point out that they’re not good at something. They already KNOW they can’t be good at everything.
They know that they’re not perfect… but neither is anyone else.
4) They see themselves as a “work in progress”
People who are naturally confident don’t belittle themselves for not being good at certain things because they know they’re still a work in progress.
They know that they’re going to be great someday. But for now, they’re still working on it.
So sure, they may be renting a cheap, one-bedroom apartment now—and all their friends live in a villa —but they don’t indulge in self-pity and see themself as a “loser” of any sort.
They know that success doesn’t happen at the same rate for all of us and they’ll achieve their own success eventually.
This is also the reason why they never stop learning and improving on their craft, and why they don’t get butt hurt when someone says anything negative about them.
5) They’re happy to receive constructive criticism
Because they’re perfectly aware that they’re not perfect, they know that they have things to improve on themselves and in their work.
So when someone approaches them to give their genuine and well-intentioned feedback, they won’t think “how dare you!”, they’ll actually appreciate that someone made an effort to let them know.
After all, as I’ve said, they know they’re a work in progress.
6) They put the focus on other people
Naturally confident people are probably confident because they don’t care so much about themselves. Instead, they pay attention to others.
This makes them less self-conscious and anxious.
So when they’re out on a date, they won’t think “Oh crap, do I smell awful?!”, instead they’ll think “Hmm, I wonder how they smell.”
And instead of thinking “I don’t think they like me”, they’ll think “Hmm, do I actually like them?”
7) They’re not scared to fail
“Failure” and “success” mean so little to those who are naturally confident. They are well aware that their worth as a person has nothing to do with it.
Because of this, they’re a lot braver than most people. They’re the ones who take risks that the rest of us would never dare.
They’re your friends who’d ask the most attractive people out on a date, and just shrug and laugh when they get rejected. They’re your colleagues who try “strange” solutions just to see if it works.
You see, here’s the thing: even if they fail at what they do, they don’t see themselves as a failure. And that’s why they have the guts to do “crazy” things.
8) They’re aware that each person has different strengths and weaknesses
People who are naturally confident know that each person comes with their own set of strengths and weaknesses.
Not everyone can be good at making money, for example.
Not everyone can be good at talking, knitting, biking, and cooking, and dancing, either.
At the same time, there’s no one person who doesn’t have at least one thing they’re good at.
And so when they’re in a situation where they’re confronted by their weaknesses, they comfort themself by saying “Well, even if I’m not good at X, I’m good with Y.”
9) They make others feel good about themselves
Those who are loudly insecure can be draining to be with. They’re competitive, they’re overly sensitive, and they focus mainly on themselves.
Naturally confident people are not like this at all. And that’s why they make others feel comfortable in their presence.
What’s more is that they’re also generous with praise. This makes them truly enjoyable to be around.
10) They don’t give a damn about how others perceive them
Confidence can be achieved by believing in oneself, but it can also be achieved by not giving a damn about anybody or anything.
Naturally confident people are blessed with the “I don’t give a f*ck” gene.
While they care about facts, they’re not interested in other people’s opinions about them.
If people think they look weird,
If people think they’re making awful life choices,
If people think they aren’t smart,
they just go “SO WHAT?”
And what sets naturally confident people apart from those who are just trying to be tough is that they really mean it.
11) They’re highly independent
The more independent you are, the more confident you become.
It’s easy to see why. If you are on your own, then you start to realize that you can do almost anything without the help of others.
And because of this, you start to feel proud of yourself.
Naturally confident people know that no matter what life throws at them, they can stand strongly on their feet.
12) They don’t get easily offended
Most insecure people are not just offended by criticism, they’re also very sensitive to body language, to jokes, to even the moods of others.
When someone doesn’t pay attention to them, they can’t help but think “Is there something wrong with me?”, “Do they hate me?”, or “Am I someone who doesn’t deserve respect?”
Everything feels like an attack to the extremely insecure person.
Naturally confident people, on the other hand, rarely feel attacked.
When others are not behaving well, they won’t get hurt. Instead, they’d wonder what’s genuinely wrong with them (and if there’s anything they can do to help them).
They’re also aware that everyone has moods, and so they don’t take people’s behaviors personally.
13) They can laugh at themselves
Naturally confident people have a good sense of humor. They see everything as just funny—especially their flaws and mistakes.
That’s because they’re less tense than other people because they don’t feel they have to prove anything.
So when they make bad art, they’re the first one to laugh at it. And if they get into a series of unfortunate events, they’ll get frustrated, of course, but they bounce back quickly with laughter.
14) They treat themselves right
Naturally confident people consider themselves as the most important person in the world.
Don’t get me wrong. They’re not narcissists and they’re not full of themselves.
They just know that they’re the one who’s solely responsible for their wellbeing…and so they take care of themselves before they even think of taking care of others.
They know that they deserve to be pampered, so they shower themselves with self-love.
They know that they deserve success, so they work hard for it.
They know that they deserve to have a good relationship, so they leave a toxic partner and search for a better one (or stay single).
They always care for their well being because they know their worth.
Final thoughts
If you really think about it, confidence is quite simple. It’s all about self-acceptance and not giving a damn.
All the traits naturally confident people have spring from these two main traits.
So if you’re having a hard time remembering all the specific traits in this list, just try to remember these two main traits and you’ll eventually become naturally confident.
