Tina Fey
Class may be hard to define but it’s easy to spot.
That’s because people who exude it effortlessly often possess a collection of small behaviors that set them apart from the rest.
They seem to have a certain charm and grace that is evident in everything they do. But it’s down to the way they carry themselves and the way they interact with others.
This ensures that their classiness shines through in subtle yet powerful ways.
1) They are quietly confident
A lot of what we may think of as confidence can actually come across as arrogance.
Being loud, overly assertive, pushy, or obnoxious tends to spring from either an inflated ego or a lack of self-esteem.
But people who are quietly confident never feel the need to show off. So they don’t attention-seek or hog the limelight.
Yet even though it’s not shoved in your face, their confidence is still clear.
- They are comfortable in their own skin.
- They have relaxed and open body language.
- They speak slowly and clearly.
- They speak up, and are happy to share their thoughts and feelings on things.
This clear confidence is key to their allure and charm.
2) They don’t rush to fill the silence
I think this is a direct result of our previous point.
Awkward silences are only awkward because of the way we feel about them.
Whenever I feel compelled to speak, it’s because I’m uncomfortable with the fact that nobody is saying anything.
Silence can make you insecure.
So incredibly deep foundations of self-esteem mean that you don’t panic and rush to fill that silence.
This can be really powerful.
Not only is it reflective of confidence but it allows others plenty of room to speak and means you can focus on listening.
3) They show poise in challenging situations
It’s often the case that we don’t really see what people are made of until problems arise.
How someone steps up and handles difficulty tells you a lot.
Classy people have poise.
They are able to remain balanced and keep themselves together when others might be tempted to lose their cool or get flustered.
This calm demeanor is a reflection of their inner grace.
That’s why cultivating greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and patience can help us all to improve our own poise.
4) They never swear
Sure, there is evidence to suggest that cursing is a sign of having a broad vocabulary —which some argue is a sign of greater intelligence.
But shall we be honest?
Someone who uses non-stop cuss words doesn’t leave the best impression (and I say that as someone who swears myself).
Usually, it’s the classiest people who find swearing tasteless. They often see it as a sign of disrespect — both to themselves and others.
In many ways, it comes down to their impeccable manners. Because they always strive to be polite and respectful in their interactions with others.
Manners are a cornerstone of their classy demeanor, and that’s not compatible with a potty mouth.
Instead, they have other ways of expressing themselves in a more refined way.
5) They’re not impressed by what you have, they are impressed by who you are
One of the most common mistakes people make is equating class with cash.
Yet being flashy and pretentious about money has quite the opposite effect.
It’s incredibly tasteless.
There’s nothing wrong with being financially wealthy, but it certainly doesn’t make you any better than anyone else.
Classy people know this and do not define themselves or others based on materialism.
So they may not discuss money or how much things cost, but simply because they don’t care.
They are far more interested in your values, morals, actions, and words. These are what truly define us, not how much we have in the bank.
6) They’re discreet
Discretion often flies under the radar for the very reason that it’s intended to.
You may have to stop and think to realize when you have a classy friend or acquaintance in your life, because it’s about the things they DON’T do that highlight their discretion.
- They don’t reveal secrets
- They don’t pass judgment on things that are none of their business
- They don’t gossip about or bad-mouth others
- They don’t overshare in inappropriate settings
Classy people don’t pour their hearts out in emotional Instagram rants or curse their exes on Facebook.
You won’t catch them bitching about a colleague’s ugly outfit.
They don’t insert themselves into drama.
All of this means that classy people are the most inconspicuous and unobtrusive types in any room.
7) They can handle their drink
They don’t get blind drunk because they know their limits and stick to them.
There’s nothing graceful about mascara smeared down your face and ugly crying from your gin and tonic-induced meltdown.
…as I discovered on far too many occasions in my twenties.
Responsible alcohol consumption comes down to awareness, healthy decision-making, and showing restraint.
These are qualities classy people enjoy.
So even though they may like a drink, they won’t lose control of themselves.
They’re not the ones at a dinner party who fill their wine to the top of the glass.
They don’t fall into the traps that so many of us do by using alcohol as a social lubricant or way of hiding from life.
8) They dress appropriately
Classy dressing isn’t about designer labels and expensive brands.
Neither is it about adopting one particular look. It’s perfectly okay to use clothing as a healthy form of self-expression.
But in the real world, we also must do so knowing that others will make judgments about us based on how we choose to present ourselves.
Classy people often have an effortless elegance in their style. It strikes a balance between eyecatchingly tasteful and understated.
But above all else, it’s appropriate for the occasion.
So if it’s a formal event, they will opt for more elegant attire.
If it’s a job interview, they will aim to be smart and conservative.
If it’s more casual, they’re happy to show their playful side.
Dress codes (even unspoken ones) are about understanding and respecting different social situations.
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