People who are naturally charismatic and likable usually possess these 11 subtle traits

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What sets apart highly charismatic and likable people from their less magnetic peers?

It’s about far more than a smooth outer appearance or knowing the right things to say:

Those who attract people effortlessly and can lead a team that follows and is inspired by them with enthusiasm are characterized by very special and powerful traits. 

Let’s take a look at some of these conversational secrets of the truly charismatic individual who’s able to attract others and bring everybody up. 

Let’s dive in and learn the secrets of the deeply charismatic individuals. 

1) True to themselves even in small details

Charismatic folks are true to themselves in every way. 

They dress how they want, eat what they want and follow their dreams no matter how strange or ambitious other people find those dreams to be. 

They don’t try to be special. They are just themselves. They speak their truth regardless of how it’s received and without waiting to gauge a reaction. 

And people are drawn to that. 

As Lori Deschene points out

“Even if you’re afraid of judgment or tempted to lie just to keep the peace, you push yourself to speak up when you have something that needs to be said. 

And you refuse to stuff your feelings down just to make other people feel comfortable.”

2) Nimble sense of humor and funny outlook

Confident and likable people tend to be very funny.

They may not fit the stereotype of the class clown or always a laugh-a-minute, but they’re generally quite humorous and able to spread good cheer. 

Coworkers, friends and loved ones know that when they see them the day will brighten up with a smile and a laugh. 

And they seek that out, looking for these rays of sunshine in an often cloudy and depressing world. 

3) Upright bearing and ‘can-do’ body language

Likable and charismatic people speak primarily with their body. 

They stand straight, make eye contact and walk in a medium-paced and confident way. 

This makes a big impression, and in a line up of 100 members of society they would be among the top 10 picked if there was a crisis or if somebody trustworthy were needed in a pinch. 

They give off that vibe. And they embody it. 

As Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. notes:

“In some instances, what comes out of your mouth and what you communicate through your body language may be two totally different things. 

If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest.”

4) Confident manner without being cocky 

Those who are truly charismatic and draw others to them are not cocky in any sense:

They’re sure of themselves, but they’re not arrogant or dismissive towards others. 

They welcome the input of colleagues at work and are respectful and humble in their personal relationships, bringing confidence to the table without being a d*ck about it. 

“Confidence doesn’t stem from having lots of strengths and being the best. Confidence is knowing what your skills are and knowing where you need to improve,” advises Stacie Simpson.

5) Master of an intense and charismatic gaze

The eyes are the window to the soul, and the naturally charismatic individual uses his or her eyes to great effect. 

They are able to make smoldering eye contact and hold it without being creepy or scary. 

But it has a big impact on everyone. 

The natural confidence radiating out of this individual draws others to them, and their belief in themselves and their mission that pours forth has a huge impact. 

6) Adapts to change with aplomb 

The confident and charismatic individual isn’t perfect, but he or she adapts to change in a really can-do way. 

They understand that change is the only constant in life, and that resisting change only makes it more traumatic and counterproductive.

As such, this individual does their best to roll with the punches and get the most out of life’s situations whether they’re pleasant or unpleasant. 

This can include making some hard choices when it’s the right thing to do. 

“You’re self-aware when faced with hard choices—like whether or not to leave a relationship that doesn’t feel right—so you can get to the root of your fear,” notes Deschene

7) Vulnerable without being mawkish or performative 

The confident and charismatic individual is vulnerable and emotionally open

They admit how they’re feeling and aren’t afraid to be open about imperfections, struggles and ways in which they are “uncool” or strange. 

But they aren’t performative or mawkish about it. 

They don’t try to show off about being different or being sensitive. It’s not some bragging right or a series of Instagram captions to impress potential mates. 

It’s just who they are: raw and real. 

8) Bristling with energy and charismatic confidence

The charismatic individual is an energetic powerhouse. 

If you’ve ever seen a highly popular politician or religious leader rile up a crowd into complete enthusiasm then you know exactly what I mean:

They are able to bring their intense energy and anger, hate, love and passion to bear on those around them and move people into an absolute frenzy. 

This can be used for many positive or negative endeavors. But its effect is undeniable, including in everyday life. 

As Danny Forest recounts

“As I worked on my charisma, I realized more people started saying “yes” to me. When asking for deals and discounts, I started getting better deals than I even asked for.”

9) Master of pregnant pauses 

Speaking too much can be a very disempowering action. 

Individuals who are highly charismatic know how to use effective pauses to highlight what they’re saying and really put an explanation point on it. 

They may also pause and not respond to a question, allowing it to settle and the implications of what’s being said to really settle in. 

They aren’t afraid of silence. And that gives them huge power that most don’t have. 

As the London Speech Institute advises:

“Dividing up your thoughts into units of speech, means that you can communicate at the pace of your listener. This is crucial to keeping your listener engaged and making sure they stay with you all the way.”

10) Generous and not a penny pincher 

There’s never been a charismatic penny pincher. 

Charismatic folks are generous. They buy a round for the bar and get their girlfriend a beautiful bracelet. 

They splurge on a nice vacation with their boyfriend or a hot new shirt. 

They aren’t messing around with counting dollars and cents every day, at least not in a way that becomes obsessive or small-minded. 

Life is short and they intend to live it. 

Others take note and want to join in accordingly. 

11) Optimistic but not an Instagram warrior

This ties into the previous point about being vulnerable but not in a way of humble bragging or performing. 

Those who draw others to them and are highly charismatic are can-do people. They take challenges on the shoulder and keep going. They learn from failure and shout for life to do its worst when it’s awful. 

They are optimistic, but they’re not doing it for Instagram hashtags or to impress anyone. It’s their survival mechanism. 

They know that going too far into being a toxic positive person is very much inauthentic and unhealthy. 

As clinical health psychologist Natalie Dattilo writes:

“It’s really good and it makes us feel better, but you can overdo it. Then, it makes us sick…

Shoving ice cream into somebody’s face when they don’t feel like having ice cream. That’s not really going to make them feel better.”

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