People who are in relationships but secretly want to break up often display these 7 behaviors 

Ever heard the saying, “all that glitters is not gold”? Well, that can apply to relationships too.

On the surface, many relationships seem picture-perfect, complete with Instagram-worthy snaps and sweet declarations of love. But beneath the surface, things aren’t always as rosy. In fact, some people in relationships may secretly desire to be single again.

In this piece, we’re going to delve into the often unspoken world of those who are in relationships but yearning for a way out. Let’s dive into 7 behaviors these individuals often display.

1) Increased irritability

You know that feeling when even the smallest things start to annoy you?

Well, that’s often a sign of underlying discontent.

When someone secretly wants to break up, they may find themselves more irritable than usual. Suddenly, the things that they once found endearing about their partner might start to seem annoying.

It’s not about the fact that their partner chews too loudly, or leaves their clothes on the floor. It’s about a deeper issue – their unhappiness in the relationship.

2) Avoiding future plans

This one hits quite close to home for me.

I remember when I was in a relationship that I knew wasn’t right for me. I found myself dodging any discussions about future plans. Things like summer vacations, family gatherings, or even just planning a movie night next weekend were suddenly difficult topics for me.

Why? Because I was uncertain about our future together.

If someone is secretly wanting to break up, they might hesitate to make long-term plans or commitments. They may be vague about their availability or show a lack of enthusiasm when discussing future dates.

3) Emotional distance

Here’s a personal story.

A friend of mine was dating someone who gradually became emotionally distant. They used to share everything, from daily anecdotes to deep, personal thoughts and feelings. But then, things changed. The conversations became more superficial, and the emotional intimacy they once shared started to dwindle.

My friend noticed this and asked her partner about it. It turned out, he’d been contemplating ending the relationship for quite some time. He’d been pulling away emotionally because he was struggling with his feelings and didn’t know how to express them.

Sometimes, when people want to break up but don’t know how to express it, they may start by withdrawing emotionally. This might manifest as less communication, less affection, or simply a feeling of growing apart.

4) Increased independence

Independence is a wonderful trait. But in a relationship, a sudden surge of independence can sometimes be a sign of something else.

Let’s say your partner suddenly starts doing things they usually did with you, but now alone or with others. They might start going to the movies alone, or choose to spend their weekends hiking with friends rather than being with you.

This newfound independence could be a way for them to gradually create distance or prepare for life without you.

It’s essential to respect each other’s independence in a relationship, but if you notice a significant shift, it may be worth discussing. After all, communication is key in any relationship.

5) Frequent criticism

Did you know the way we communicate can say a lot about the state of our relationships?

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, found that in failing relationships, there is often a pattern where criticism becomes more frequent and less constructive.

If your partner suddenly starts picking on you more often or their criticism feels more like personal attacks rather than constructive feedback, it could be a sign they’re not happy.

Criticism that seems to come out of nowhere or feels harsh can indicate underlying dissatisfaction in a relationship. It’s crucial to address these issues openly and honestly to prevent resentment from building up.

6) Less effort in resolving conflicts

I recall a time when disagreements with my partner were usually followed by discussions, apologies, and a mutual effort to resolve our issues. Over time, however, I found myself less inclined to make up after an argument. I realized I was tired, not of the conflicts, but of the relationship itself.

When someone secretly wants to break up, they might start showing less interest in resolving conflicts or mending bridges after an argument. They might avoid discussions, ignore issues, or just let things be.

Unresolved problems can pile up and create a wall between partners.

7) Change in affection

Affection is the language of love.

When someone wants out of a relationship, their expressions of affection might change. The loving words, the warm hugs, the shared laughter might become less frequent or disappear altogether.

This is not about occasional mood swings or busy periods in life, but a consistent change that makes the relationship feel different.

Remember, understanding and communication are key to resolving any issue in a relationship.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these signs in your relationship can be challenging. It’s never easy to face the possibility that a relationship might be coming to an end.

However, if you see yourself or your partner displaying these behaviors, it’s important to address it. Open communication is key.

Remember, it’s not about blame or guilt, but about understanding.

If you’re the one wanting to break up, consider being honest about your feelings. It might be difficult, but truth can bring clarity and peace.

If it’s your partner displaying these signs, approach them with empathy. They might be struggling with their feelings and need your understanding more than ever.

In the end, preserving our emotional health should be a priority.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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