There are some people who somehow, seemingly without breaking a sweat, manage to get people to like them.
But how could they befriend people in the span of a few days or weeks when it usually takes you months?
Well, the clues probably lie in who they are as a person.
That’s why in this article, I will talk to you about the 12 traits that extremely likeable people have.
1) They’re adaptable
They live by the saying that when you’re in Rome, then you should act like the Romans do.
If they’re with people who eat with their hands, they’re going to try to learn how to eat with their hands as well.
And if the people around them speak differently from the way they do, they’ll try to learn their way of speaking and adapt as needed.
Because of this, they simply have an easier time fitting in with people than those who prefer to remain set in their ways.
2) They’re open-minded
Sometimes people live lives that are very different from ours, and sometimes that difference can be so great at times that we can’t help but feel uncomfortable around them.
Most of us judge them by our own lived experiences—calling them things like “weirdo” or “freak” to make ourselves feel more at ease.
But there are some who are likeable precisely because they refuse to do this. Instead, they’ll try to understand their differences, no matter how great.
And because of that, people feel like they can simply be themselves around them without any need to put up an act and pretend to be someone else.
3) They’re perceptive
There are few things more obnoxious than someone who keeps cracking jokes when people clearly aren’t in the mood for it, or bringing up topics regardless of whether it’s welcome or not.
People who put in extra effort to read the room are going to be naturally more well-liked than those who just blunder around obliviously.
Likeable people don’t just enter a conversation shooting random topics and jokes. Instead, they try to get a feel for whether people are in the mood to actually hear them.
Likewise, they’ll also take care not to talk about how they found the perfect life partner around a friend who had just gotten dumped. Or talk about their promotion when someone just got laid off.
4) They’re thoughtful
They’re the kind of person who takes extra care to avoid serving shrimp if they know a friend who’s allergic to shrimp is going to visit.
Or if they know that one of their neighbors is having a bad day, will cook up and give them an extra serving of dinner to cheer them up.
These gestures of thoughtfulness—both big and small—come naturally to them because they care for the comfort and wellbeing of the people around them.
And while they’re not exactly trying to be likeable, they end up well-liked because of this nonetheless.
5) They are genuine
They’re the people who understand that being “genuine” isn’t about taking every excuse to be an asshole and say “this is just who I am!”
Rather, they’re people who simply don’t pretend to be someone they’re not because it’d make people like them or some other reason like that.
When you get to know them, you can be certain that you’ve met the true them, and not just some fake version of themselves.
And this is important because people can feel it when someone is lying or being fake. Even if people don’t know the problem is that people are being fake, they’ll give off vibes that push people away.
6) They take it easy
They’re the kind of person who can make an embarrassing mistake and shrug it off with a smile, or bring up that one time they were dumb in love with the wrong person and laugh about how dumb they used to be.
And I don’t mean the kind of self-deprecating humor you can expect from someone who hates themselves—that does little but actually make people uncomfortable.
Rather, it’s simply that they’re comfortable enough in their own skin to take a joke and make themselves the butt of one from time to time.
People will describe them as “chill”, and that’s because they are—they’re calm and unbothered except under the worst possible circumstances.
7) They’re optimistic, but realistic
Nobody likes a downer, and it doesn’t take a lot to figure out why.
But at the same time, there are some people who are just so insistent on looking at the good side they end up feeling overbearing, toxic, and unrealistic.
People who are well-liked by everyone around them manage to strike the balance. They’re optimistic, and yet realistic.
They like to see that the glass is half-full, but are willing to consider that it can be easily knocked over and emptied.
Because of that, they manage to bring positivity with them wherever they go without imposing it.
8) They’re curious
People like it when you make them feel wanted and valued.
Naturally, this means that people who show genuine curiosity towards others end up being very well-liked by the people around them.
Too much curiosity can feel invasive and have the opposite effect, of course, so it’s not entirely about being curious. It’s about being curious while also respecting people’s boundaries.
There’s a balance to be found between being “too nosey” and being “too aloof”, and well-liked people manage to strike that balance.
9) They’re confident
It’s hard to like someone if their insecurities have them being unreasonably clingy all the time and be so sensitive that people need to walk on eggshells around them.
While confidence can be intimidating at first, it’s simply the fact that confident people make better, more likeable company than insecure folk.
People find them likeable because they know they can just chill in their presence. There’s no fear that a stray word or a couple of missed texts will set them off.
10) They’re not trying to impress everyone
Perhaps the most ironic thing about likeable people is that they don’t actually TRY to be likeable, and neither are they concerned about whether people will like them or not.
They understand the simple truth that no matter how hard one tries to be “likeable,” there’s always someone out there who will dislike them anyway… so they don’t bother.
Instead they simply go about their lives being unapologetically themselves. They cherish the people who are drawn to them and pay no heed to the ones mocking them.
And this quiet confidence makes them easily likeable.
11) They are humble
They have no qualms about apologizing if they ever made a mistake, admitting when something is out of their depth, and giving credit where credit’s due.
And when they celebrate their successes, they take great care not to put others down while doing so, or talking so much they come off as a braggart.
Because of this, people simply love them.
People like working for them because of how they always end up being the best bosses. People like hanging out with them because they know they’ll never try to overshadow everyone else.
While not always the easiest trait to internalize, humility goes a long way to making someone likeable.
12) They respect others
And not only that, they respect others equally. It doesn’t matter to them where you are in life, or what your financial and social status may be like—they’ll respect you the same way regardless.
It should go without saying that people generally don’t like people who make a habit of being disrespectful towards them.
And on the flipside, people who are nothing but courteous and respectful will be loved and appreciated for being the way they are.
It’s not like they’re trying extra hard either. They simply acknowledge that other people are also people and that they deserve every bit of recognition they could afford.
People aren’t just born likeable—likeability is something that anyone can develop with enough time, effort, and willpower.
And if you want to give it a shot, you can always try to keep an eye on the traits I’ve described in this article. Some might be easier for you to teach yourself, while others take a lot more effort.
But ultimately, being likeable is the end result of many different, yet complementary traits working together—emotional intelligence, respect for others, open-mindedness, and a willingness to stray off the beaten path every now and then.
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