People who are excellent at small talk always use these 10 phrases

There’s an art to small talk, and some people just seem to have it down pat.

You know the type – they can strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime. Small talk is their superpower.

The secret? It’s all about using the right phrases. And by right phrases, I mean those that open doors to conversations and connect people on a genuine level.

Allow me to share with you 10 phrases that people who are excellent at small talk always use. These aren’t manipulative tricks but genuine conversation starters that can help you connect better with others.

1) How’s your day going?

Small talk is all about breaking the ice and making the other person feel comfortable.

And what better way to do that than by showing genuine interest in them?

The phrase “How’s your day going?” is a classic conversation starter. It’s open-ended, non-intrusive, and it gives the other person a chance to share something about themselves.

But here’s the catch – you have to be genuinely interested in their response. This isn’t about ticking off a box in your small talk checklist. It’s about establishing a sincere connection.

When you’re making small talk, start with “How’s your day going?”. And then really listen to the answer. You might be surprised at where the conversation goes.

2) I love your…

Compliments are a powerful tool in small talk. They can instantly make the other person feel good about themselves and more open to conversation.

One phrase I often use is “I love your…”. It could be something about their outfit, a piece of jewelry they’re wearing, or even something they’ve said.

For instance, I remember meeting a new colleague at a work event. She was wearing this gorgeous vintage brooch. I started with “I love your brooch, it’s really unique! Where did you get it?” That sparked off a delightful conversation about her love for vintage shopping.

The key is to make sure your compliment is genuine. People can tell when you’re just buttering them up. So, make sure it’s something you truly appreciate about them.

3) Have you been to…?

Geographical connections can be a strong starting point for small talk. The phrase “Have you been to…?” can ignite conversations about travel experiences, favorite cities, or even hometowns.

For instance, asking “Have you been to New York?” can lead to a discussion about the bustling city life, favorite Broadway shows, or the iconic skyline.

Interesting enough, according to United Nations statistics, New York is the most visited city in the United States. This means there’s a good chance that the person you are talking to has some experience or impression of the city, making it a perfect topic to delve into.

Remember, the aim is to find common ground and shared experiences. So next time you’re making small talk, try asking about places they’ve been or would like to visit.

4) What do you think about…?

Asking someone’s opinion is a great way to engage them in a conversation. The phrase “What do you think about…?” shows that you value their thoughts and are open to hearing different perspectives.

It can be about anything – a recent movie, a trending topic, or even the decor of the room you’re in. This phrase encourages the other person to share their thoughts, which can lead to a more meaningful conversation.

But the key is to respect their opinion, even if it differs from yours. 

5) I heard that you…

Nothing says “I’m interested in you” more than referring to something you know about the person. The phrase “I heard that you…” shows that you’ve taken the time to learn something about them.

It could be something like “I heard that you ran a marathon last month” or “I heard that you’re a fantastic cook”. This not only gives them a chance to talk about something they’re passionate about, but it also shows your interest in getting to know them better.

But a word of caution – make sure your source is reliable and the information is positive or neutral. You don’t want to bring up any sensitive topics or spread rumors. 

6) I’m so glad to hear that…

Empathy is the key to establishing a genuine connection during small talk. Responding with “I’m so glad to hear that…” when someone shares good news or a positive experience shows that you’re emotionally invested in the conversation.

Maybe they just got back from a relaxing vacation, or their child won an art competition. By expressing your happiness for their joy, you’re showing that you care about their personal experiences.

This phrase not only helps to establish an emotional bond but also encourages them to share more about themselves. Small talk isn’t just about filling silence; it’s about building a bridge of understanding between two people.

7) I’m not great at…

Admitting to our shortcomings can feel uncomfortable, but it can also make us more relatable. Using the phrase “I’m not great at…” can break down barriers and encourage the other person to open up about their own challenges.

For instance, I often say, “I’m not great at cooking”. This confession usually gets a laugh, and it opens up topics like favorite recipes, cooking disasters, or even the best local takeout places.

By showing our human side, we give others the permission to do the same.

Don’t be afraid to share your not-so-perfect moments during small talk. It might just be the thing that deepens your conversation.

8) I’d rather be…

It might seem odd to express a preference for being somewhere else, especially during a conversation. But the phrase “I’d rather be…” can actually spark intriguing discussions around passions, hobbies, and dreams.

For example, saying “I’d rather be hiking in the mountains” during a casual chat at a party could lead to an engaging conversation about outdoor adventures or favorite travel destinations.

This phrase serves two purposes. It not only gives the other person a glimpse into your interests but also opens up the floor for them to share their own passions. 

9) What’s your story?

This might seem like a heavy question for small talk, but “What’s your story?” is an open invitation for the other person to share something about themselves.

People love to tell their stories. It could be about their career journey, a unique experience, or even how their day has been. This question shows that you’re interested in them on a deeper level.

But remember, it’s important to listen attentively and respond appropriately when they share their story. This isn’t just about keeping the conversation going; it’s about showing respect and understanding towards the other person. 

10) It was great talking to you

Ending a conversation can be just as important as starting one. Saying “It was great talking to you” leaves a positive impression and opens up possibilities for future conversations.

This phrase shows appreciation for their time and the conversation you’ve had. It also subtly implies that you’d like to continue interacting with them in the future.

Whether you’re at a networking event or just chatting with a stranger at a coffee shop, ending your small talk on a high note can make all the difference.