Clifton Kopp
Sure, technically speaking it may sound a little shallow, but the truth is that in life, a little charm can go a long way.
Charm can be the difference whether you beat out the other twenty equally qualified candidates for that much sought-after role in a company; it can be the difference whether you score that first or second date with the person you’ve been eyeing.
Having charm and good PR are absolute assets in this world; yet ones that remain relatively rare.
So if you’re smart, you’ll do your best to cultivate these qualities. That is, if you don’t have them already.
In this article, I’ll take you through the distinctive traits of effortlessly charming people.
If these things sound familiar, you’re in a great place, keep it up!
If not, it’s never too late to start developing your inherent charm and charisma.
Let’s get to it!
1) They have empathy
Truly charming people have a distinct empathy about them.
Now you might not immediately equate charm with empathy, so hear me out.
The reason we might subconsciously be drawn to certain people is because their empathy and compassion feel contagious.
They can understand and share the feelings of people, reflected in their behaviors, gestures, manners of speaking, and so on–things that connect them to others on a more profound level.
On top of that, charming people typically make pretty great listeners too.
They seem to be genuinely interested in what other people have to say, rather than simply waiting for their turn to speak–the latter, in my experience, being the default move for most of humanity.
In turn, charming people often make others feel heard and valued.
2) They’re self-confident
Many charming people are, well, charming because they exude a deep confidence about them.
They don’t just fake it, sticking up their chest and talking too loud, they genuinely have a deep-rooted self-assurance about them.
This can manifest as humility, or showing real interest in the other person, having enough self-belief to put their pride aside and let the other person take the spotlight.
Trust me, these seemingly basic qualities are far rarer than you think.
Most people want their own ego stroked, not the other way around.
So when someone has true confidence, people will tend to feel comfortable, at ease, and even long for their presence.
3) They’re optimistic
The vast majority of charming people I’ve come across in life aren’t chronic complainers, screaming at the manager for the most minor of infractions.
Charming people tend to exude a natural and effortless positivity about them, something that only adds to their allure.
They see the glass as perpetually half full and their actions tend to reflect this.
Have you ever been in an upbeat mood only to encounter a miserable friend who somehow brings you down with them?
I know I have.
This is not often an issue with a charming person.
Instead, they’ll spread positivity and good vibes, and uplift the mood in any room–truly a life skill.
4) They’re authentic
From my experience, many people tell you what you want to hear, acting interested on the surface but deep down, they have an underlying motive behind their words.
The charming person, on the other hand, oozes an aura of authenticity.
They consistently seem genuine and sincere in their interactions.
They don’t use you for their benefit.
Instead, they’re be sincerely engaged and invested in you, something that as humans we pick up on after a while in others, whether unconsciously or not.
Authenticity–it’s one of the main reasons effortlessly charming people have minimal trouble building trust and rapport with new people.
5) They have a great sense of humor
My grandfather is one of the most charming people I’ve met.
He can be halfway around the world, yet have any store clerk or server with no knowledge of his language in stitches, laughing so vigorously their eyes begin to water.
I used to wonder how he did it.
To me, it almost didn’t seem possible, given the cultural differences.
But as I took a closer look, I began to realize that it came down to his magnetic sense of humor.
A great sense of humor doesn’t always have to qualify as wry wit all the time.
In my grandfather’s case, for instance, his goofy facial expressions, his quirky tone of voice, and his bodily gestures are somehow universally hilarious.
Humor breaks down barriers; it brings people, however foreign, closer together.
Charming people tend to be funny to some degree; they lighten the mood and make mundane interactions enjoyable.
6) They’re tactful
Charming people have an innate ability to read the room–and it shows in their communication abilities.
They tend to have a savvy worldliness about them and often find the right thing to say at the right time, avoiding offending or upsetting others.
They’re able to ease tensions by being sensitive to the situation and avoiding tone-deafness.
This tactfulness speaks to their high level of adaptability.
They’re flexible in social situations, adjusting their approach to suit different environments and people.
In other words, they avoid blurting out statements without thinking them through.
They also show respect toward others’ opinions, time, and boundaries–a practice that we, as humans, tend to appreciate in others.
7) They’re great storytellers
Think of the most charming person you know.
Have someone in mind? I’ll bet that they are a top-notch storyteller.
Effortlessly charming people seem to operate on a different plane from the general population in terms of communication.
They have a knack for telling stories in a highly engaging fashion, often going into vivid detail, captivating their audience in the process.
They become animated as they speak, so much so that you can mentally envision the events being told to you.
Perhaps they’ll pepper their tales with a bit of well-meaning humor.
Listening to a charming person tell a story can be a real treat, almost like listening to your favorite podcast.
Final words
Being charming is all about embracing who you are deep down, about being comfortable in your own skin.
Not being overly caring about others’ perception of you.
Many are too uptight, too worried about how they’ll come across, to be genuinely charming.
Once you start accepting who you are, and start giving less precedence to what everyone else says or thinks, your appeal as an individual will grow.
You do you.
Because when you do, people will surely take notice.
Take it from the great Charlie Chaplin: “ Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.”
Touche, sir.
