People who are deeply selfish usually display these 10 behaviors (without realizing it)

There’s a fine line between looking out for yourself and being downright selfish.

The line blurs when your actions consistently benefit you, regardless of the impact on others.

Deeply selfish people often don’t even realize they’re exhibiting these behaviors. They’re just doing what they think is best for them, unaware of how their actions affect the people around them.

We’re going to delve into ten behaviors that are common among deeply selfish individuals. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Me first mentality

If there’s one thing that deeply selfish individuals often showcase, it’s the “me first” mentality.

This is the constant need to put their own needs and wants ahead of everyone else’s. They’re always first in line, always grabbing the last slice of pizza, always taking the best seat in the house.

It’s not necessarily that they’re trying to harm others. It might not even cross their minds that their actions could be causing inconvenience or discomfort to those around them.

However, this constant prioritization of their own needs over others is a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness. And often, they’re completely oblivious to it.

2) Lack of empathy

Another behavior that often surfaces in deeply selfish people is a lack of empathy.

I remember a former friend of mine who would often prioritize her own feelings and experiences over those of others. For instance, once during a group outing, another friend shared about her recent breakup. She was clearly upset and needed emotional support.

Rather than offering comfort or even just listening, my former friend quickly shifted the conversation to her own relationship issues. It seemed like she was more interested in gaining attention and sympathy than in empathizing with our distressed friend.

This inability to empathize with others, to put oneself in another person’s shoes, is a common trait among deeply selfish people. They struggle to see beyond their own perspective and often fail to recognize or validate the feelings of others.

3) Ignoring boundaries

One of the common behaviors of deeply selfish people is that they often have little respect for personal boundaries. Whether it’s physical space, personal belongings or even time, they tend to encroach upon others’ boundaries without giving it a second thought.

This could be as simple as taking someone’s food without asking, borrowing items without returning them, or consistently showing up late – all signs of a disregard for others’ boundaries.

This blatant disrespect for personal space or belongings is not just annoying, but also indicative of a deeper issue: a lack of consideration for others’ feelings and comfort.

4) Difficulty sharing

Selfish individuals often have a hard time sharing, whether it’s material items, time, or even emotional space. They have a tendency to hoard resources for themselves and are reluctant to divide their possessions or time equally among others.

For instance, you might notice that when dining out with friends, a selfish person is unwilling to share their food. Or at work, they may be reluctant to share credit for a project they’ve worked on with others.

This difficulty in sharing points to a deeply ingrained selfishness. They value their own satisfaction and comfort above the feelings of others, which is a telltale sign of someone who is deeply selfish.

5) Neglecting others’ needs

Deeply selfish people often neglect the needs of those around them. They’re so focused on their own desires and comforts that they overlook or ignore what others might need or want.

For example, a selfish person might choose a movie to watch without asking for others’ opinions, or they might make plans that suit their own schedule without considering if it works for everyone else.

This disregard for others’ needs and preferences is a clear indicator of deep-seated selfishness. They’re more interested in satisfying their own wants than ensuring everyone is comfortable and happy.

6) Unwillingness to compromise

In any relationship, whether it’s with friends, family, or a romantic partner, compromise is key. It’s about finding middle ground so that both parties feel valued and heard.

Deeply selfish individuals, however, often struggle with this concept. They’re unwilling to give up their own desires or comfort for the sake of others. They’d rather stick to what they want, even if it means creating conflict or discomfort.

This unwillingness to compromise can be heartbreaking. It can make those around them feel unimportant and neglected, as if their feelings and needs don’t matter. It’s a clear sign of deep-rooted selfishness that can damage relationships and strain bonds.

7) Frequent interruption

A behavior I’ve noticed with deeply selfish individuals is their tendency to frequently interrupt others during conversations. This constant need to have their voice heard over others often stems from their belief that what they have to say is more important.

I recall countless instances where I’ve been in conversations with such individuals, and it feels like you’re battling to get a word in. They’ll cut you off mid-sentence to share their thoughts or experiences, often disregarding what you were saying.

This frequent interruption not only disrupts the flow of conversation but also shows a lack of respect for others’ thoughts and feelings. It speaks volumes about their self-centered nature and disregard for others.

8) Oversharing

It might seem odd, but deeply selfish people often overshare. You’d think they’d keep everything to themselves, right? But no, they’re usually the ones dominating conversations with tales of their own experiences, achievements, or problems.

While sharing is a part of healthy communication, oversharing to the point where others feel sidelined or overwhelmed can be a sign of selfishness. They want the spotlight on them, their lives, their stories, disregarding whether others may want to share or even feel comfortable with such an information overload.

This behavior subtly reflects their need for attention and their lack of consideration for others’ comfort or interest in the conversation.

9) Always playing the victim

A common behavior among deeply selfish individuals is their tendency to always play the victim. They have a knack for turning situations around to make themselves appear as the aggrieved party, even when they’re at fault.

For example, if there’s a disagreement or argument, they’ll often twist the narrative to make it seem like they’ve been wronged or misunderstood. This allows them to evade responsibility and garner sympathy, even when it’s undeserved.

This constant victim-playing is a manipulative tactic that reflects their selfish need to always be in the right and receive attention and sympathy. It’s a clear indicator of deep-seated selfishness.

10) Lack of gratitude

Perhaps the most telling sign of deep-seated selfishness is a lack of gratitude. Selfish individuals often take the efforts and kindness of others for granted. They’re so wrapped up in their own world that they rarely take the time to appreciate what others do for them.

Whether it’s a simple favor, a thoughtful gift, or ongoing support, the actions of others often go unnoticed or unappreciated by selfish individuals. They expect others to be there for them, to meet their needs without expecting any recognition or gratitude in return.

This lack of appreciation not only hurts those around them but also reveals a profound level of selfishness that goes beyond mere thoughtlessness. It’s a disregard for the value and feelings of others that is deeply ingrained in their character.

Final thoughts: It’s about understanding

Understanding human behavior, especially deeply selfish behavior, is a complex journey. There’s no one-size-fits-all explanation for why some people act in such self-centered ways.

While it’s easy to respond with frustration or anger towards these individuals, remember that their behavior often stems from a lack of awareness rather than a deliberate intention to harm others.

It’s important to approach these individuals with empathy and understanding. Encourage open and sincere conversations that could lead to self-awareness and potential behavioral changes.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and patience is key. Understanding the behaviors associated with deep selfishness can be the first step towards fostering healthier interactions and relationships.

In the wise words of Carl Jung, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”