People who are calm on the surface but incredibly stressed underneath usually display these 12 behaviors

You know those people who always seem cool as a cucumber? Unflappable, unflustered, and seemingly unbreakable.

But have you ever stopped to think, maybe they’re not as calm as they seem?

Believe it or not, beneath that calm exterior could be a whirlwind of stress and anxiety.

In this article, we’re going to talk about the signs that these seemingly calm folks might actually be carrying around a load of stress.

So, buckle up and get ready to dive beneath the surface.

You might be surprised at what you discover!

1) They’re perfectionists

You know those people who never seem satisfied unless everything is just right? This could be a sign that they’re dealing with a lot of stress. 

Perfectionism often stems from a fear of failure or criticism. So even though they might seem calm and in control on the outside, they could be constantly worrying about making mistakes. 

They might spend extra time checking and rechecking their work, and they may be very hard on themselves when things don’t go perfectly. 

2) They overthink everything

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to ponder over every single detail? They might take longer to make decisions, or they seem lost in thought a lot. 

This could be another sign that they’re dealing with hidden stress. 

Overthinking is often linked to anxiety. It’s like their brain is on a never-ending treadmill, going over and over the same thoughts. 

They might appear calm on the outside, inside their mind could be a whirlwind of ‘what-ifs’ and worst-case scenarios. 

Remember, just because someone seems calm, doesn’t mean they aren’t dealing with their own inner battles.

3) They’re always busy

I have a friend who always seems to be in control. No matter how hectic things get, he always seems calm and composed. 

But here’s the thing – he’s always busy. He’s constantly juggling multiple tasks and always has a to-do list as long as his arm. 

It took me a while to realize that his constant busyness was actually a sign of hidden stress. He was using work as a way to distract himself from the anxiety churning inside him. 

It just goes to show, sometimes the people who seem the most calm are actually the most stressed.

4) They struggle with sleep

Here’s an interesting fact: sleep and stress are closely linked. 

People who seem calm but are actually stressed often struggle with sleep. 

They might have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep because their minds are constantly racing with worries and what-ifs. 

According to the American Psychological Association, adults who sleep fewer than eight hours a night are more likely to report symptoms of stress. 

So, that calm colleague who always seems to be yawning might be battling more than just the urge to nap. They could be losing sleep due to hidden stress.

5) They rarely let their guard down

Have you ever met someone who always seems to have a wall around them? They never share personal things or show raw emotions. It’s like they’re always wearing a mask. 

This could very well be a sign of concealed stress.

These individuals often feel the need to keep their guard up, afraid that revealing their true feelings might make them appear weak or vulnerable.

 They carry the weight of the world on their shoulders but refuse to let anyone see them stumble.

Remember, it takes immense strength to keep up a facade. 

So, if you know someone like this, be patient with them. They might be fighting battles you know nothing about. 

Your understanding and support might just be what they need to let their guard down and share their struggles.

6) They often have tense body language

I remember a former colleague of mine who was always the picture of calmness. No matter how chaotic things were around us, she seemed unflappable. 

But if you paid close attention, you could see signs of hidden stress in her body language.

She often clenched her jaw when she was deep in thought or held her shoulders tense and high when she was under pressure. And I noticed that she would frequently rub her temples, a sure sign of a tension headache.

It was a stark reminder that no matter how calm someone might seem on the surface, their body language can often tell a different story. 

Pay close attention to these small signs – they might reveal more about a person’s true feelings than they realize.

7) They’re always on edge

 

You know those people who seem calm, but the smallest things set them off? They might snap at a minor inconvenience or overreact to a small problem.

They’re like a rubber band stretched to its limit – even a tiny pull can cause them to snap.

It’s not that they’re mean or short-tempered, it’s just that they’re dealing with so much inside that they have little tolerance left for anything else.

It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s a clear sign of stress boiling beneath the surface.

8) They have frequent headaches

Did you know that stress can actually cause physical pain? It’s true. One common sign of hidden stress is frequent headaches. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, stress can trigger both tension-type headaches and migraines.

So if someone you know always seems calm but often complains about headaches, it could be a sign that they’re dealing with a lot of stress. 

It’s a stark reminder that even though stress is a mental health issue, it can have very real physical symptoms.

9) They constantly seek reassurance

My sister is one of those people who always seems calm and collected. Yet, I’ve noticed that she often seeks reassurance.

Whether it’s about her work, her looks, or even the smallest decisions she makes – she’s always asking if she’s doing okay.

I initially thought it was just her being overly cautious, but I eventually realized it was a sign of hidden stress. 

She was constantly worried about messing up and needed validation to ease that anxiety. From the outside, she looked like she had everything under control, but inside, she was constantly questioning herself.

So remember, if someone frequently seeks reassurance, it might be their way of coping with hidden stress.

10) They’re prone to mood swings

One minute they’re the life of the party, and the next they’re withdrawn and quiet. Mood swings can be a sign of hidden stress. 

The constant battle within can make their mood fluctuate rapidly. It’s not that they’re unpredictable or unstable, it’s just that their inner turmoil is affecting their emotions. 

If someone’s mood seems to change at the drop of a hat, they might be dealing with hidden stress.

11) They struggle with concentration

Ever noticed how some people can’t seem to focus even on simple tasks? They might forget things easily or seem distracted a lot. 

This could be another sign of hidden stress. Anxiety can mess with your concentration big time, making it hard to focus on anything else. 

12) They’re often tired

You know those people who always seem worn out, no matter how much sleep they get? Constant fatigue can be a sign of hidden stress

Stress can take a huge toll on your body, draining your energy levels and leaving you feeling tired all the time

So if someone seems calm but always looks exhausted, they might be carrying around a heavy load of hidden stress.

These signs aren’t definitive proof that someone is dealing with hidden stress.

But they can give you an idea of what might be going on beneath the surface. And understanding these signs can help us better support those around us who might be silently struggling.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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