People who are burnt out but won’t ask for help usually display these 9 subtle signs

Burnout can be a tricky beast to spot, especially when it comes to people who are too stubborn or proud to ask for help.

You see, burnout doesn’t scream, it subtly whispers. It sneaks up on us, often disguised as ‘just another busy week’ or ‘a bit of stress’.

And here’s the thing – those who are the most burnt out are often the least likely to recognize it in themselves, let alone ask for help.

But if you’re observant, you can spot the signs. In this article, we’ll explore the 9 subtle signs that someone is experiencing burnout but isn’t asking for help.

1) They’re always “fine”

Let’s be real, we all know that “I’m fine” is often code for “I’m anything but fine”.

This is particularly true when it comes to burnout. Those who are burnt out tend to become masters of disguise. They’ll insist they’re managing just fine, even when they’re barely keeping their head above water.

The reason? Pride, fear of judgment, or simply not wanting to burden others with their problems.

So when someone who’s usually an open book starts saying they’re “fine” a lot, it can be a red flag that they’re dealing with burnout.

But remember, just as with any sign, the key is not to jump to conclusions but rather to open a dialogue. The aim isn’t to diagnose but to support and help.

2) Their passion has fizzled out

Passion is like fuel for our engines. But when you’re burnt out, that fuel starts to run dangerously low.

I remember a time when I was juggling a demanding job, family responsibilities and a personal crisis. I was always the person who loved my work, who would dive into projects with enthusiasm and energy.

But then, I started to notice a shift. The things that used to excite me felt like chores. I no longer looked forward to Monday mornings. The spark was gone.

That’s another subtle sign of burnout – losing interest in things you used to love. When someone who’s usually passionate about their work or hobbies seems indifferent or uninterested, it might be more than just a bad day.

Again, it’s important not to jump to conclusions but to engage in conversation and offer support where you can.

3) Their sleep pattern is all over the place

One of the most insidious effects of burnout is its impact on sleep. Those who are burnt out may find themselves either sleeping too much or struggling to sleep at all.

It’s a bit of a vicious cycle. The more stressed and overworked you are, the harder it is to switch off and get a good night’s sleep. And the less you sleep, the harder it is to cope with stress.

Chronic lack of sleep can lead to a host of health issues, including depression, heart disease, and even obesity.

So if someone who usually values their sleep starts staying up late or constantly feels tired despite getting plenty of rest, it could be a sign that they’re experiencing burnout.

4) They’re increasingly irritable

When someone is burnt out, they’re often running on empty. Their patience is thin, and they can become easily frustrated or upset.

This isn’t because they’ve suddenly become a grump. It’s because they’re mentally and physically exhausted. Every little thing can feel like a mountain when you’re already struggling to keep up.

Remember, this isn’t about blame or judgment. It’s about recognizing the signs and offering a supportive ear or a helping hand.

5) They’re neglecting their own needs

When someone is burnt out, they’re often so focused on keeping up with everything that they forget to take care of themselves.

This can show up in various ways. Maybe they’re skipping meals because they’re too busy to eat.

Perhaps they’ve stopped exercising because they feel like they don’t have the time or energy.  Or it could be that they’re neglecting their social life and personal interests.

Taking care of our physical health and maintaining a balance between work and personal life is crucial for our overall well-being.

6) They’ve become distant

Have you ever found yourself sitting in a room full of people, yet feeling utterly alone? Or maybe you’ve started to withdraw, preferring your own company to social interactions.

Burnout can make you feel detached from the world around you. It’s like you’re moving in slow motion while everyone else is in fast forward.

This feeling of isolation can be incredibly tough. It’s not about being physically alone but rather, feeling emotionally disconnected from the people and things around you.

If you’re experiencing this, remember it’s okay to reach out. It takes strength to admit that you’re struggling, and there’s no shame in seeking support.

7) They’re making more mistakes than usual

Burnout can affect our cognitive functions, leading to memory issues, difficulty concentrating, or making more mistakes than usual.

I remember a period when I was experiencing burnout. I was working long hours, dealing with personal issues, and feeling completely overwhelmed. It felt like my mind was in a constant fog.

I started forgetting things, missing deadlines, and making mistakes in my work that I would never usually make. It was unlike me, and it was a clear sign that something wasn’t right.

So if someone who is usually on top of their game starts slipping up or seems forgetful, it could be a sign of burnout.

8) They’re always tired

Burnout drains energy like nothing else. Even after a full night’s sleep, someone experiencing burnout might still feel exhausted.

Ever find yourself reaching for that third cup of coffee before lunchtime? Or maybe you’re the type who can’t seem to shake off that drowsy feeling, no matter how much sleep you get.

I’ve been there.

There was a time when I thought it was normal to be perpetually tired. To wake up exhausted, trudge through the day, and then collapse into bed only to repeat the cycle again the next day.

That’s a classic sign of burnout. It’s your body telling you that, hey, something’s not right here. Listen to it.

9) They’ve lost their sense of purpose

At the heart of burnout is often a deep sense of disillusionment or loss of meaning. People start to question whether what they’re doing matters at all.

This can be especially hard to spot because it’s not something that comes up in casual conversation.

It’s something that happens internally, quietly eating away at their motivation and spirit.

Understanding this can help you offer the right kind of support, whether it’s a space to vent, a shoulder to lean on, or just a reminder that they’re not alone.

Final thoughts: The silent struggle

Human behaviour is complex and often masks deeper issues. Burnout is one such issue that masquerades behind subtle signs and behaviours.

Understanding burnout isn’t just about recognizing signs in others. It’s about acknowledging the toll of chronic stress and overwork on our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Recognizing the signs of burnout in those who won’t ask for help is a step towards breaking the stigma surrounding mental health. Whether it’s a colleague, a friend, or a loved one, your understanding and support can make a world of difference.

So let’s make it our mission to look out for each other, lend a helping hand when needed, and foster an environment where it’s okay to say “I’m not okay.” It’s a silent struggle, but together, we can give it a voice.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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