“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others WHENEVER they go.”
This quote by Oscar Wilde is so on point.
I’ve met a lot of folks who suck all the joy out of the people they interact with. They make enjoyable moments less enjoyable, and the awful moments much worse.
And of course, they’re definitely no fun.
Wondering if you (or someone you know) is a drag to be around? Pay attention if they do these things.
1) They complain a lot
They complain about every damn thing.
The sun is too hot.
The air is too polluted.
The grass is too green.
They think it’s their right to complain for every “flaw” they see and every inconvenience they experience.
And what’s even more annoying than hearing them rant is that when you don’t give any reaction (because you’re sick of hearing them complain), they get annoyed at YOU for “not caring enough.”
2) They keep talking about the same things
And those things are usually about themself.
They’d talk about their hobbies even if others are clearly not into them.
They’d talk about their goals and dreams and heartaches even if no one’s actually in the mood to hear them.
They’re either lacking in self-awareness or they just don’t give a damn.
People who are fun to be around are those who don’t say the most interesting things, but those who can SENSE when it’s their time to talk and when it’s their time to listen.
3) They’re highly opinionated
They give you their “honest” opinions and “well-meaning” advice.
And boy, they give them generously!
Even if you just changed your nail polish from red to pink, they’d have something to say about it.
It would have been forgivable if they’re nice about it, but the way they talk makes them sound like they’re judgmental assh*les who think they’re experts at what they’re talking about.
4) They dampen everyone’s mood with their personal problems
They don’t respect how they affect the mood and dynamics of a group.
If all of you are in a cheerful mood, for instance, they will blurt out about their very miserable existence.
They’d freak out about how they still didn’t get the result of their blood results—what if they really have cancer?
They’d share about their verbally abusive boyfriend.
While it’s fine to talk about these things, there’s a time and place for it. And it’s definitely not when everyone’s in a happy mood.
5) They’re obnoxiously pessimistic
It’s a drag to be around people who gravitate towards the bad and sad and negative.
They can really wear you out and drag you down.
If you share to them how excited you are to go to Morocco, for example. Their first response would be “But I heard it’s a scary place for tourists!”
If you suggest a solution to a problem, they’d go “Sure, we can try. But I think we won’t succeed.” or “I hope we’re not just wasting our time.”
Exhausting. But also, dangerous.
If you’re struggling to keep your hopes up, they can burst your bubble with their harsh “truths.”
6) They’re bossy
Demanding people are no fun to be around.
Whoever appointed them to become the leader of the gang? No one.
Whoever appointed them to become the home manager? No one.
And yet, they have the audacity to act like they have the right to boss everyone around!
That’s probably because they’re a bit narcissistic—they think they’re the wisest and most responsible person around.
Imagine going on a road trip with them.
They’d be calling all the shots—from what brand of chips you should buy to what time you should wake up.
Imagine starting a project with them. They’d dismiss your ideas and assign you work you never volunteered to do.
Being proactive is admirable. Being bossy? Not so much.
7) They’re too rigid and critical
They have a certain way of doing things.
And may the lord protect your soul if you try to change them because they will freak out!
Even if it’s as simple as the way you prepare a salad. They’d complain if you mix it clockwise when they’re used to doing it counterclockwise.
They have “rules” to every little thing, and if you break them, they’ll definitely point out to you how “wrong” you are.
Be careful. If you’re around them for too long, they’ll definitely damage your self-esteem.
8) They hate a lot of people
I personally hate being around people who hate a lot of people.
They’re such a drag to be around because their hatred is all they can talk about.
Their boss is evil.
Their neighbors are annoying.
Their parents are irresponsible.
Blah, blah, blah.
It’s okay to hear these things sometimes. We all hate some people.
But all the freaking time? It can make your ears bleed.
9) They’re killjoys
When you go to a club to go dancing, they’d just sit in a corner. They won’t even drink.
It’s annoying because they agreed to go to a club in the first place!
And when you’re excited to try a dish, they won’t even taste it.
When you ask them why, they’d shrug and say “Just not my thing. Don’t force me.”
Well, they’re free to say “No” to the things they don’t want to do, alright.
But let’s all agree on one thing—this doesn’t make them a joy to be around with.
10) They can’t take a joke
Prank them and they’ll hiss.
Tell a very tame joke about them, and they’ll growl.
Poke fun at the things they like, and they’ll kick the wall.
People who can’t take a joke are frightening to be around.
You’d be walking on eggshells all the time trying not to offend them (and boy, it’s impossible not to offend them!).
If you’re the kind of person who loves to laugh, forget it. You won’t have fun around them.
11) Their mind is always somewhere else
Take them to a theme park, and they’d just be on their phones.
Talk to them about your dreams or your heartaches and they’d be zoning out and thinking about something else to say.
In other words, they’re rarely present.
It’s frustrating to be with people like these because you’d want a relationship where people contribute 50-50 to conversations and experiences.
It’s tolerable when you’re with them once in a while.
But if you’re with them often and they’re always just blanking out? No thanks.
12) They’re “meh” about everything
They don’t know how to appreciate the good things in life.
You let them taste your friend’s cake that you find so delicious. Their response? “Meh, it’s not bad.”
You gush about a show you just watched. They’ll just shrug.
And you can bet that even if you won $500, they’d just say “Eh, at least we can now buy pizza.”
It’s exhausting to be with someone who doesn’t try to actively appreciate the things around them—someone who’s impossible to please.
So…do you know someone who’s a drag to be around?
Are YOU a drag to be around?
Don’t worry. Personality is not fixed and we all can make small changes every day.
I’ve been a Debbie Downer since birth, but now I’m one of the most positive people you’ll ever meet.
How did I do it?
First, by being very aware of how I affect others. And then I simply tried to copy the traits of the most joyful people I know.
You can do it.
Self-awareness is key and the fact that you’re reading this and assessing yourself and your relationships is a good first step.
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