Ever got home from a party or a meal and felt completely drained?
My guess is that there was someone at that gathering who was an absolute ballache to be around.
You know the type of person I’m talking about…They’re loud, they’re obnoxious, they think the world revolves around them, and there seems to be one at almost every social gathering.
Well, these folks certainly aren’t fun to be around, but what is it about them that’s so damn annoying?
It’s simple – their behavior sucks.
Let’s start with the most obvious and easy to spot:
1) They’re extremely negative
The sun’s shining, birds are singing, and for a few moments, the world feels like a great place to be in.
Until someone who is a chore to be around turns up.
Then, suddenly, the sun’s too bright, the birds too loud, and you guessed it, the world is a shitty, shitty place to live in.
You see, people like this thrive off negativity.
They look for the worst in everything, often disregarding the fact that they’re ruining the mood for everyone else.
And don’t get me started on the complaining – oh the complaining – it feels like it will never end. Just when you think they’re done, off they go again (and half the time, it’s such trivial stuff anyway).
2) They’re overly critical
As if the complaining and constant negativity aren’t enough, people who are a chore to be around are also very critical.
They seem to find fault with absolutely everything (apart from their own behavior, ironically), and on top of that, they have the nerve to hand out criticism left, right, and center.
I remember going to a meal once with someone like this. They pointed out every single thing that was wrong with every single dish at the table, completely ignoring the poor host’s red face and nervous laughter.
But you know the funny thing about people like this?
If you critique them back, they become incredibly defensive. And that leads me nicely to the next point:
3) They’re defensive
That’s right – people who dish out unwanted advice and criticism are the first ones to get their back up if you call them out on the slightest thing.
I have an aunt like this. One day, she went off on one of her usual rants, and she got pretty loud. She was complaining that her colleagues at work find her “too much”.
I gently said, “Maybe if you didn’t shout so much, they’d be friendlier?”
“How dare you! How dare you accuse me of being loud…” Of course, I got shouted at for that one.
You see, people like this judge others through their own lens.
They don’t take feedback well because they see it as a personal attack on them. Add their lack of self-awareness and ego into the mix, and it becomes a dangerous combination.
4) They’re self-centered
Ever been around someone who makes everything about themselves?
You could be talking about something you accomplished, and suddenly the conversation is back to them and every medal they’ve won in their lifetime.
People like this have a unique way of twisting everything around. They can’t stand not being the center of attention.
I met a girl like this once. No joke, she literally said the word “I” more than 100 times in the short conversation we had.
Luckily I had already heard from other people that she was a complete drag, and I didn’t stick around longer to hear more about her wonderful life and personality *cue eye roll*.
Ultimately, people who are a chore to be around won’t bother asking you about your life.
They won’t bother waiting for you to ask about theirs, actually. They’ll tell you whether you want to hear it or not!
5) They have poor listening skills
And even if they did ask a question, they’re not likely to be listening very well.
In my experience, they’re too busy lining up their next speech (about themselves, of course), eyeing up the room for their next victim, or distracted by their phone.
Because let’s be honest:
They simply don’t care.
And that’s what makes them a chore to be around. While most of us are out here trying to forge connections and show a genuine interest in others, these guys couldn’t give a damn.
They make you feel insignificant and their self-centeredness is enough to drain anyone’s energy.
6) They’re dishonest
Another behavior folks like this display is dishonesty.
Now, I don’t mean that they just outright lie all the time (although some may do) but think dishonesty on a manipulative level.
My aunt, for example, will massively exaggerate a situation just to get sympathy from everyone.
She loves playing the victim.
And in tangent with that, it keeps the conversation on her, so it’s a win-win.
But the bottom line is, it gets tiring being around someone like that.
You’re always questioning whether they’re being genuine, or simply using you for their ego-fix.
7) They lack empathy
People who are a chore to be around lack empathy and compassion – that’s just a fact.
Their blatant disregard for other people’s feelings often leads to tense dinners and family fallouts.
Whenever I tried to explain my feelings about a situation to my aunt, her indifference and coldness just made me feel worse.
It’s gotten to the point where no one shares anything personal with her anymore, because she makes zero effort to understand or console.
And you know what?
When you stop feeling like you can be vulnerable with someone, it puts a strain on the relationship. You don’t feel as comfortable in their presence anymore and you certainly have to tiptoe around certain subjects.
No wonder people like this aren’t fun to be around.
8) They’re unreliable
Have you ever noticed how people who are a drag tend to be pretty unreliable, too?
For example, you’ve got a very important occasion coming up, and they beg to be a part of it. They offer to help, and you reluctantly agree, thinking that they may prove your suspicions wrong.
But they don’t.
They bail at the last minute, or they’re late, or they manage to get something wrong.
Whatever the situation, they let you down.
This only weakens the relationship further and creates a lot of distrust and frustration.
9) They’re inflexible
Here’s the scenario:
You’ve made plans with a group of friends, but when you arrive at the Mexican restaurant, it’s closed. Everyone’s hungry, and you spot a Chinese place across the street.
Now, most people in the group will agree to eat there, because, after all, you’re part of a group and the important thing is to spend time together and eat at some point.
But a person who’s a chore to be around won’t accept this change in plans. They set out for a Mexican, and a Mexican is what they’ll eat.
Even if they have to inconvenience 10 other people in the group.
Put simply, they’re not flexible. They don’t believe in compromise. Everything boils down to their individual needs and wants.
10) They dominate conversations
And finally, you know you’re dealing with a person who’s a chore to be around when they constantly interrupt and dominate conversations.
They have no respect for others – even if they see you deep in conversation with someone else, they’ll butt right in.
Everything is me, me, me.
And the worst part is that they’ll drone on and on, often oblivious to the glazed-over stares and stifled yawns of the rest of the group.
If someone came to your mind while reading this (trust me, a few people came to mine while writing it) my advice is to spend the least possible time with these folks.
Life’s short. Why spend it with someone who’s a drag?
Lost Your Sense of Purpose?
In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.
Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.
Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.
With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.
Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.