Do you like to be alone?
Do you feel more “alive” when you’re at home doing something you enjoy than when you’re with others?
Don’t worry. You’re not the only one. In fact, I’m just like you.
But have you ever wondered why you enjoy alone time as much as you do?
I’ve been wondering this about myself for a while, so to prove that I’m not weird for spending so much time alone I started to research why this is might be the case.
Here are 22 personality traits and behaviors of people who like to be alone.
1. You’re an introvert
I’m sure you’ve heard of the word “introvert” before, or you already understand what it means.
Basically, an introvert gets drained of energy when they spend time with others, whereas an extrovert gains energy.
In fact, studies have suggested that introverts tend to be highly sensitive to the neurotransmitter “dopamine”, which fires in the brain far too often with prolonged social exposure.
You also tend to find alone time as peaceful and even energizing.
So if you find yourself becoming easily drained of energy when you’re around others, then it might be the case that you’re an introvert and this is the reason you enjoy spending time alone.
2. You tend to have less energy than others
We’ve all met them before. The type of person that seems to have an endless supply of energy.
They’re fun to hang out with for 30 minutes but after that, they can get seriously annoying.
Now I’m not talking just introvert vs extrovert here. I’m talking about basic energy supply.
For you, your favorite place is a comfortable couch or chair, whereas others get energized from being active.
No this doesn’t mean you’re not fit or you don’t exercise at all. You can still exercise.
You just love taking time out and sitting on the couch. It’s where you feel at peace. It’s where you energize yourself. And it’s where you ponder your deepest thoughts (or watch TV!).
Whereas some people feel more energy after being active, you’d rather relax.
There’s nothing wrong with that, and that’s why you love spending time alone.
3. When you’re alone, you get to do what you want to do
When you’re with other people, you don’t always get to do what you want to. There’s always an element of compromise.
You can’t always pick your favorite movie or go to your favorite restaurant when there are other people involved.
And sure, every now and then it’s fine to try a new restaurant that your friend recommends.
But when it comes down to it, you’d rather just do what you want to do.
This is why you love being alone. You don’t have to compromise. You can work on your passion projects or watch your favorite TV shows. Everything is easy.
4. You prefer quiet time
You’re at peace with your soul when you’re sitting in silence.
But as soon as people are around, the peace you love is gone.
And it’s not even the other person making noise that upsets you. It’s their presence that makes you uncomfortable. It means you can’t fully relax and enjoy the moment.
It’s only when you’re alone that you can completely let go and be yourself.
5. You can’t stand small-talk
We’ve all been there.
“How are you?” “Great weather today!”
Arrgh…such a waste of time.
For you, small-talk is meaningless and superficial. You don’t get to know someone for who they truly are.
Instead, the questions and answers lack so much meaning that it doesn’t need to be said.
It’s just a way to fill the silence, but for you, you’d rather bask in the glory of silence!
This is why you come across as a cold person to others.
If you’re going to talk to someone, you’d rather get to know them at a deep level. What makes them tick. What is their life plan?
You want to know the purpose behind someone’s actions and what they find joyful in life. That is what really gets your juices flowing.
But small-talk is so common these days that you’d prefer spending time alone.
6. You do your best work alone
You are much more productive when you’re alone in your office than when others are near you.
This is because it’s hard for you to not get distracted when other people are around you.
People talking, random questions while you’re working, the sounds of people chewing their food around you. It irks you to your core and it can really upset your workflow.
Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that you’re not as comfortable around others as extroverts are.
You prefer to be alone concentrating on what you need to get done.
7. You don’t gossip or engage in drama
Gossiping…talking about people behind their back…one-upping people to make yourself look better. That’s just not your style.
In your mind, people spend way too much time on these toxic behaviors. It’s just wasted energy. For you, it doesn’t even make you feel good.
You’d prefer to focus on yourself while keeping the peace with everyone else.
Now of course you’d stand up for yourself and others if you need to, but this is different.
In the end, gossiping about who did what, who insulted who, and why so and so is a bad person only serves to make others feel bad, and that is the last thing you want to do.
8. You are emotionally independent
You don’t have a strong desire to be around people all the time. You also don’t rely on people to give you validation and make you feel better. You are your own source of happiness.
You also consider yourself a balanced person. Your highs aren’t as high as other people and your lows aren’t as low.
You rely on yourself to deal with your own emotional problems. You don’t search for outside help.
This makes you feel comfortable and secure when you’re spending time alone because you’re not relying on anything (or anyone) for your own happiness.
9. You find it hard to deal with people’s emotional issues
Even though you’re emotionally independent, you actually find helping others with their emotional struggles quite challenging.
This is most likely because you have strong empathy and you can feel the pain another person is feeling.
When you’re asked to help someone, it can then feel like the weight of that burden falls heavily on your own shoulders as you absorb their emotions.
This is why you like spending time alone as it is the simplest way to keep your emotional balance.
10. You’re quite content with your life
You’re perfectly happy with how your life’s going and where you’re at. You don’t need to constantly see people and arrange nights out to feel better about yourself.
You accept yourself for who you are and you’re happy to spend time alone doing what you want to do.
There’s no FOMO (fear of missing out) when you miss social occasions because you know that you’d have a better time home alone anyway.
This makes it very easy for you to say “no” when someone asks you out.
11. You just don’t like many people
You have a few close friends and family that you enjoy spending time with.
But in your eyes, the majority of people just aren’t worth getting to know.
They’re generally not interested in the same things that you are, and they don’t like to think in the complex manner that you do.
You’ve also had friendships in the past where you can’t seem to get over their flaws or their self-absorbed attitude.
Now you’ve learned by experience that the trouble they cause in your life just isn’t worth it.
12. You don’t feel at ease when you’re around others
Put it down to social anxiety or the pressure to conform to social norms, you just don’t feel at ease when you’re around others.
In contrast, you feel completely relaxed when you’re by yourself.
The main reason?
There is no pressure on you to act a certain way. And things have become even weirder with “social distancing rules’ these days that you just can’t be bothered.
If you stay at home by yourself you don’t have to worry that you’re not doing the right thing or what other people think of you.
When you do spend time with others you tend to experience small bouts of anxiety and nervousness, and while that’s something that can get through every now and then, it’s not what you always want to go through.
13. You don’t enjoy getting too close to people
It’s a big ask for you to get emotionally close to others.
You’ve been hurt in the past when you’ve got close to others, and that is why you don’t take getting close to someone else lightly.
While you enjoy getting to know others for who they are and what makes them tick, you’re not as willing to reveal personal details about yourself.
It doesn’t mean that you never get close to others. It just takes you more time to trust someone to get close.
14. You can’t stand insensitivity, idiocy or ignorance
You always take a step back and observe situations before making judgments.
So when someone makes instant simplistic judgments of other people, it irks you to your core.
You know that everything isn’t black or white. People always have reasons to do what they do.
You put time into your thoughts about issues and situations. You’re well-considered and have learned to think for yourself.
In a world of Google and algorithmic news feeds that feed you exaggerated and biased headlines, you know that thinking for yourself is one of the most important qualities one can have.
15. You don’t seek attention
You’re the opposite of someone that craves attention through their looks or status. You can’t understand why some people want to be “famous” for something that’s superficial, fleeting and ultimately meaningless.
You’d rather be recognized for your complexity and depth. In fact, that’s why you take the time to get to know someone.
You know there’s so much to a person than what appears on the surface.
16. You accept emotions for what they are
This could be a very strong reason why you enjoy spending time alone compared to others.
Many people fight against their negative emotions because they believe that is the best way to deal with them.
This is why they struggle to spend time alone.
But you know that it’s useless to fight against your own negative emotions. It will only make them worse.
Instead, you accept them for what they are.
This is largely down to the fact that you also accept yourself and your personality, and therefore you have an easier time accepting all the emotions that come your way.
17. You appreciate experiences more than material things in life
I mentioned above that you have a deep and complex mind, and when you do, it can take a lot of time and effort to feed it and give it what it needs.
You’ve probably found that you don’t get a lot of pleasure out of material things, but a walk in the wood makes you feel alive and energized.
A new cell phone won’t do that for you. You probably spend time learning, getting outside, and going on adventures with those you love – that’s what a deep soul needs to thrive.
18. You’re extremely loyal
People who enjoy spending time alone don’t very often have a wide social circle, and if you do, you won’t spend every night of the week with large groups, lining up for the hottest club opening.
You instead seek out meaningful and trustworthy friends with who they feel comfortable to welcome into the space and share details of their life with.
If you have a friend who likes to spend time alone, you can guarantee that this person will be there for you through thick and thin.
19. You have a level head
You spend so much quiet time on your own, taking the time to navigate and contemplate situations, problems, and to really tap into who you are and what you want.
You have a strong sense of self and confidence that radiates from within.
When you’re feeling stressed or the weight of the world is closing in? You spend time alone to recharge instead of filling your day with distractions.
You’re a great worker, and you’re suited to certain career choices that suit introverts.
20. You are comfortable with your own thoughts
I’m sure we’ve all come across that person who can’t stand to be alone with their own thoughts. I believe that people who like to spend time alone, particularly in the quiet, display a clear conscience and do not struggle with their inner thoughts.
Of course, we can all have down days, but you tend to be able to navigate yourself out of any slump.
21. You understand the value of time, yours and theirs
You’ll notice a word that keeps coming up at each point. The word is ‘time’.
I think that people who spend time alone understand and appreciate its value.
You see, you put a high priority on making that time available for you to function at your highest level and best self; so, you are also very respectful of other people’s time.
You have a deep sense of making sure not to waste your time or to spend time with people who are wasting theirs.
22. You exercise strong boundaries
All of that time alone gives you space to think about what motivates you, what works and what doesn’t, and how to properly communicate this.
In my experience, people who like to be alone have strong and healthy boundaries and they exercise their right to communicate these in a really healthy and clear manner.
Have your perceptions changed? Can you see any of these qualities in yourself or a friend?
We all have a different approach to life; celebrating our differences is what’s it’s all about.
If you’re your own best friend, then that is an excellent trait to have and it will hold you in good stead for your whole life.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,