Adrian Volenik
When we enter a relationship, we mostly think it will last forever and that we’ll love our partner until our last breath, and vice versa.
But then we get hit with reality. One partner starts losing interest, and we start thinking about whether they even love us anymore. Or at all.
To find out if that’s really the case, learn about the following behaviors that might reveal your partner isn’t in love with you (anymore).
1) Disinterest
When you’re in love, you take a genuine interest in your partner’s feelings and emotions and their life in general.
If your partner shows little curiosity about your feelings, thoughts, or experiences, it’s one of the signs they don’t value your emotional connection.
I mean, what else is there in life? Is social media, TV, or sports more important than what your significant other is doing or saying?
The same is true for the following.
2) Ignoring your needs
In a loving relationship, both partners consider each other’s needs and well-being. If your partner consistently disregards your needs and only focuses on themselves, it suggests a lack of empathy and care.
For example, when you’re going through a tough time, like dealing with a family issue or a stressful situation at work, and you express your need for emotional support.
However, your partner brushes you off and offers no comforting words or understanding.
Or when you crave physical affection and intimacy, but your partner is disinterested or avoids any displays of affection, making you feel unwanted and unloved.
3) Lack of appreciation
Feeling valued and appreciated is undoubtedly essential in any relationship. If your partner fails to show gratitude for your efforts or takes you for granted, it leads to feelings of being insignificant, unloved, and uncared.
Appreciating someone is so easy. You can simply tell them, “Thank you,” or “I love what you did with…”
A heartfelt note or a small gesture are also some easy things you can do. But if you don’t recognize the need for this and you don’t see your partner feeling unappreciated, of course, you won’t express gratitude.
4) Frequent conflicts
While disagreements are expected, constant conflicts are damaging to a relationship. If your relationship is filled with frequent arguments and clashes, it leads to emotional exhaustion and a communication breakdown.
There are many reasons for frequent conflicts. The most usual ones are money, kids, stress, etc.
To address frequent conflicts, you need to be open and honest. Both partners must be willing to listen to each other’s perspectives, look to understand one another and work towards finding solutions together.
Healthy relationships require compromise and sacrifices for each other’s happiness. If your partner is unwilling to meet you halfway or make any concessions, it can leave you feeling unequal and resentful.
It also might prove they don’t love you (enough).
5) Flirting with others
What does being in love mean to you? For me, being in love means being committed and faithful to your partner.
If your partner openly flirts with others or seeks attention outside the relationship, it’s a lack of respect and loyalty.
Or worse. It means they don’t even love you and are considering other romantic prospects.
On the other hand, some people flirt with others for sport, attention, and validation from people outside the relationship.
Their behavior typically arises from personal insecurities or a desire to boost their ego instead of a genuine emotional connection with their partner.
6) Lack of eye contact
We all know how important eye contact is. It’s a powerful way to connect with someone emotionally.
So if your partner consistently avoids making eye contact during intimate conversations, it’s a huge red flag that suggests your partner is not in love with you or lacks emotional investment.
Sometimes, a lack of eye contact can signal guilt or discomfort. Your partner might feel guilty about something or struggle with their emotions, leading them to avoid making eye contact to hide their feelings.
7) No effort to spend time together
Spending quality time together is fundamental for nurturing a relationship. If your partner consistently prioritizes other activities over spending time with you or frequently cancels plans, it reveals a lack of interest in the relationship.
I see this happening in some marriages where partners need some time alone, but they start abusing it. For example, the husband goes to the pub every day after work.
And the wife… Well, I’m not sure there is a female equivalent to that, is there?
Don’t get me wrong, hobbies and personal activities are great and essential to every healthy relationship.
The problem is when a partner engages in them excessively to avoid spending time with you. This signals a desire to escape the relationship rather than boost it.
8) Making important decisions without you
Life is full of major life decisions, isn’t it? That’s why having a loving partner who values your input and considers your feelings when making significant life decisions is paramount.
But if your partner excludes you from these decisions, it means you’re insignificant to them. It also means you’re in an unhealthy one-sided relationship with an imbalance in power distribution.
There are many underlying reasons for this, from insecurity and relationship history to emotional and financial dependence.
But if your partner is making important decisions without you, it could also mean they don’t love you.
9) Secretive behavior
Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship, don’t you agree? If your partner is secretive about their whereabouts, activities, or interactions with other people, especially those of the opposite sex, you’re bound to feel suspicious and insecure.
This includes keeping private conversations, text messages, or social media interactions with a specific person hidden.
Or making significant purchases without informing you, hiding shopping expenses, as well as keeping health concerns, medical diagnoses, or treatments secret from you.
While some partners do this out of insecurity or even fear, others do it by blatantly disrespecting and disregarding their partner’s feelings.
10) No future plans
In a loving relationship, both partners usually share a desire to build a life together and make joint plans for the future.
If your partner avoids talking about a future with you or making plans that involve both of you, it signifies a lack of commitment.
The absence of future plans in a relationship is a significant red flag, revealing your partner isn’t in love with you or doesn’t see a long-term future together.
While some people need more time to commit to future plans (I know I did), an ongoing lack of readiness to discuss it indicates deeper issues you need to address.
11) Constant criticism
Love should be nurturing and accepting, not critical or judgmental. If your partner consistently criticizes you, you’ll feel unhappy in the relationship.
Criticism and complaints have different forms, from nitpicking and belittling to outright insults, and they significantly deteriorate the emotional connection between partners.
A partner who isn’t in love frequently makes demeaning or derogatory comments about you, your appearance, abilities, or choices.
This constant negative feedback damages your self-esteem and makes you feel unworthy or unlovable.
12) Absence of trust
Trust is vital for a loving relationship to thrive. If your partner doesn’t trust you or is overly jealous without valid reasons, it creates an atmosphere of suspicion and tension.
The absence of trust can come out through jealousy, possessiveness, constant doubt, snooping, and withholding information. Other signs are frequent lying, betraying confidences, and accusing you without evidence.
In some cases, the absence of trust indicates deeper relationship problems, and you need to reevaluate the overall compatibility of the relationship itself.
Final thoughts
If your partner displays these 12 behaviors, you need to look closely at your relationship and consider the implications of their actions.
While every relationship faces challenges, you need to know that a pattern of these behaviors indicates deeper issues you need to handle.
But, above all, it’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner and express your feelings and concerns honestly.
