It is far too easy to get caught up sweating the less important things and let the priceless moments that life has to offer slip through your fingers in the process.
We are all a little guilty of trying to control our lives, but sometimes you have to learn to let go instead of taking on the world and having nothing but stress to show for your lost battles.
With less time spent stressing the small stuff, there is more time to spend with your loved ones.
You can stop and drink it all in, give gratitude, celebrate, and ultimately enjoy life a whole lot more!
A carefree mind is key, so here are 20 things you don’t need to give another moment’s thought:
1) The desire to be right
People are opinionated, we regard being right about things as important. When it comes to health and safety and factual truths being correct is important.
But, people are opinionated and so it is easy to get inadvertently dragged into monumental arguments with close friends over things that at the end of the day are insignificant to disagree upon. It can even cost us those relationships if we aren’t able to just let go.
As psychotherapist Mel Schwartz puts it would you rather be right or happy?
2) Holding onto mistakes
It can be frustrating to make mistakes and can bring about obstacles.
This is especially true for work lives when there are deadlines to adhere to, or if you find yourself making a string of mistakes.
Nobody is perfect, to hold yourself responsible adds pressure, which only leads to stress. Learn to analyze where it is you are going wrong based on hindsight and look ahead for any hurdles you may find challenging and problem solve how to avoid them.
Most importantly forgive the mistakes you make as they come, use them as a learning opportunity. What doesn’t kill you, right?
3) Regretting past actions
If you don’t forgive your mistakes you are doomed to live with your head stuck in the past. Past mistakes have to be accepted as a part of your journey.
You can’t live in the present all the whilst you are worrying about something you cannot go back and change. Deal with any problems in the present as they arise, learn what you can from them, and move on.
Don’t mentally torture yourself replaying the past over and over in your head wondering if you should have done something differently.
Without some serious time machinery, it is out of your control and a waste of mental effort, which will only leave you feeling drained.
Holding onto mistakes and having regrets can give us an overwhelming fear of failure. F.O.F can stop us from trying altogether.
Try to establish a healthy attitude towards failure, rather than viewing it as evidence of your imperfections, use them to motivate you.
Life is a trial and error process, so long as you haven’t given up today, you remain on your path to success.
5) Looking for Lady Luck to change your lot in life
Many of us attribute our situations to our misfortunes. This can lead to not being proactive about changing our circumstances for ourselves. Instead, we invest all our hopes in big pivotal changes coming and changing everything for us such as winning the lottery.
A little gambling is harmless, you have to be in it to win it so they say but waiting for a windfall that may never come like an inheritance or a highly unlikely jackpot win instead of actively pursuing your goals is detrimental.
6) Running scenarios
As already mentioned being stuck in the past prevents us from living in the present but so does worrying about the future.
No one knows what tomorrow is going to bring, worrying over potential scenarios that may arise is an unnecessary, time-consuming habit.
Face your fears head-on and shelve anything that is out of your present control. It is good to be prepared but not for every eventuality, so let the negative thoughts about the future slide.
7) If onlys’
Another futuristic mentality to rid yourself of is the ‘If only’ thought process.
Just like relying on lady luck for the lotto, or wasting your time concocting future scenarios for yourself, it is a total waste of time.
We like to dream big and goals are great but it is a negative thought pattern to form and will only make you more miserable.
Sure it’s nice to envisage how sweet things could be ‘if only’ x,y, and z went your way, but either they didn’t, haven’t, or may never do, so accept it and focus on the here and now.
8) The boundaries of your comfort zone
It is tricky to feel at ease without lifes’ comforts’.
A warm bed, your favorite foods, and a safe home space all bring us subconscious peace of mind. But without pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones mentally, physically, and emotionally there is a risk of life becoming stagnant.
You have to be a little more daring and try new things to grow.
By taking chances we are presented with new opportunities, whether it is as simple as spontaneously saying yes to an impromptu invite or boldly trying a new sport.
You’ll gain something from the experience, at the very least you’ll have more fun.
9) The hands of time
The biological clock is always ticking, for everyone, everywhere.
You can throw endless amounts of money at it, you can subject yourself to sleepless nights over it, but ultimately there is nothing you can do but settle for quality of life, seize each day and spend that money on enjoying yourself no matter how wrinkly or grey you are getting instead.
Once you accept that aging is a part of life you can get on with living. Many older people say they are happier with age.
10) Critical comparison
Sometimes we fall prey to comparing ourselves to others. There is nothing wrong with ‘competition’ or striving to be like someone who inspires you.
Personal growth and change is never a bad thing but if you are constantly comparing and finding you don’t measure up for whatever reason then your self-worth can take a real hit. Internalizing negative ideologies about ourselves is never healthy.
You need to know that you are good enough just as you are. If you find yourself questioning your value always challenge it.
Focus on your positive attributes and reflect on how much you have already grown.
11) The envy of greener grass
Much like comparing how you measure as a person you shouldn’t judge your status or situation by the lives of others either.
Pay no attention to the wealth or possessions of somebody else and mind your own business.
By keeping your attention on your own metaphorical grass it will grow greener anyway.
12) Societal pressures
One of the reasons that we are prone to comparing is that we let the pressures of society infringe on how we live our lives.
We are bombarded by images airbrushed to perfection and feel the need to be perceived a certain way, prettier, musclier, thinner, curvier, sexier, richer, funnier, more modern.
The list is endless, instead of buying into society’s idea of what you should be love yourself, flaws and all, and liberate yourself from the unnecessary pressure to be perfect.
13) Educational and vocational pressure
Education and training are important, but don’t let yourself get lost chasing titles. No Ph.D., MBA, or any other acronymically created set of letters will guarantee you a good lot in life.
Self-development is great so long as it isn’t self-absorbed development. Self-discovery is far healthier for the mind and gives a great deal more happiness than a degree.
So don’t overreach and push yourself, stress-free progress is the best.
14) The opinions of others
Some people will always judge, only you get to decide whether or not you care.
You get to decide wh you do, so do what makes you happy and ignore what others have to say and why should you care if they do?
Define yourself however you like, what does it matter if someone finds your behavior odd? Dance like no one is watching and live to satisfy yourself instead of others.
15) Unsupportive peers
Sadly, no matter how hard you try you might find you have a hater or two.
Whether it is intentional or not sometimes your actions are going to put a few noses out of joint.
Getting hate off of others is unrelated to how kind, compassionate, or thoughtful you are. Some of the nicest people on the planet still often find themselves under fire.
Surround yourself with a close social circle of supportive people, and don’t stress if someone doesn’t agree with your decisions, they are yours.
16) Relationships with toxicity
Don’t bother with people who judge you or doubt your capabilities.
If someone is consistently disrespectful or constantly putting you down then they are not worth your time.
Sometimes a friend cull is necessary.
There has to be a ‘balance’ in any healthy relationship. If you find there’s no give but plenty of taking, it might be time to walk away.
Keep positive people in your life and rise above the rest. It can be upsetting to cut people out of your life but you will come to realize that those who are bringing you down are no real loss.
17) The temptation to gossip
Everyone is entitled to have a personal life, and whilst it may give you a conversation starter, being the office gossip is not a good look.
People who talk about others factually or otherwise do not make for trustworthy folk. Rumors can be damaging and nobody likes ‘gossiper’.
It is better to keep your nose out of other people’s business and worry about your own life. You also don’t need to share the details of your personal life either.
18) Extravagant buys
Material possessions are super tempting. But how many expensive accessories does one person need?
We buy items as they trend and lose interest once they are no longer fashionable. Branded items are way overrated when there are great quality non-branded versions that will suffice.
What you own or wear doesn’t define you.
We like to express our personality with our gear but to have a slid character and virtuous personality traits on the inside are what counts.
Being a decent human being will never go out of style but the hottest trainers or latest gadget will.
19) Worrying over insignificant things
Allowing yourself to get frustrated by all the little things that go wrong from day to day will leave you no time to enjoy it.
Don’t sweat being late, someone beating you to a parking spot, or misplacing something. You have to take into account the positives around you.
There’s a lot of bad in the world and if the worst thing that happened today was calling a colleague by the wrong name or missing the bus and having to walk, then you are doing alright.
Change your standards by changing your outlook. Breathe in the world around you, amazing things are happening. Sniff a rose, watch the birds, take a selfie with the sunset and let the little things go for good.
20) Things you can’t control
There will always be things you can’t control, so, don’t waste your energy trying to make an impact on something you can’t change. Focus on things that you do affect.
Find ways to make positive changes and be productive where you can.
Relentless worry causes nothing but misery. There are big things that may require thought, life does throw some curveballs and worlds can come crashing down.
But you can’t live anywhere but the present. Don’t add any unnecessary stress or worry on top.
Appreciate what you have, stop toxic thought processes, and surround yourself with positive like-minded people that will support your endeavors.
Practice mindful self-acceptance, love yourself, know your value, and keep a social circle that values you too.
We all have enough on our plates without adding to it.
Don’t overthink, never mind what others think, be grateful and forget anything that is out of your control and be healthier and happier in the long run.