7 non-obvious signs your relationship probably won’t survive the year

If you’re scanning through this, it’s likely that you’re navigating a relationship that’s more stormy sea than calm waters.

Be it with a long-time lover, a newly kindled romance, or even the love of your life, we’ve all found ourselves in a partnership where the future seems as uncertain as a weather forecast.

My first encounter with this was with my high school sweetheart, whose actions and words began to subtly indicate a love that was slowly wilting away.

I tried everything – from grand romantic gestures to heart-to-heart talks, even desperately turning a blind eye – but nothing seemed to reverse our journey towards the inevitable end.

Ultimately, I had to face the heartbreaking truth.

Navigating a sinking relationship can be draining, but there are subtle signs that help you brace for the storm. Here are 7 non-obvious indicators I wish I’d recognized back then.

1) Communication has become a chore

Reflecting on my past relationship, one sign I overlooked was how conversation gradually turned into a task.

We were talking… but only out of obligation.

Our exchanges became limited to perfunctory greetings or discussing mundane daily chores. I found myself avoiding deeper conversations to dodge potential conflicts.

This is an easy sign to miss, as it camouflages itself as “comfortable silence”. But in reality, it’s a sign of emotional distance. The essence of a relationship lies in shared thoughts, dreams, and fears – in truly knowing each other. And that’s only possible when communication is open and effortless.

Though it might seem like an obvious indicator, it’s often rationalized as a phase or a result of busy schedules. However, recognizing this subtle shift can be crucial in understanding the state of your relationship.

2) You’ve stopped dreaming together

Reflecting back on my disintegrating relationship, I realized that we had stopped dreaming together, and that was a significant red flag.

We were still planning…but only the mundane details.

Our conversations had shifted from exciting dreams about future travels or career aspirations to discussing what’s for dinner or the weekend chores. The sparkle in our eyes faded when we talked about the future, replaced by a dull acceptance of reality.

This might seem like a natural progression as the relationship matures, but it’s actually a warning sign. When you stop envisioning a shared future, it often means you’re no longer investing in one.

Sounds apparent, right?

But it’s easy to dismiss this as a result of growing up or dealing with the “real world”.

Recognize the change in your dreams. It’s okay to talk about daily routines and chores, but it’s equally important to dream together – to plan vacations, discuss career paths, or even talk about your shared retirement dream home.

Instead of simply accepting “we’re just being practical”, bring back those whimsical conversations. If they feel forced or if they stir discomfort, you might need to acknowledge that your relationship is not in the best place.

3) Your conflicts remain unresolved

Looking back at my own rocky relationship, a key indication was our persistent, unresolved conflicts.

We were fighting… but never resolving.

Our arguments became a tape-on loop, rehashing the same issues, without any real resolution in sight. The same points of contention kept surfacing, and with each repetition, they grew more intense and more bitter.

This might seem like an inevitable part of relationships – after all, who doesn’t fight? But it’s the resolution that matters. Constant unresolved conflict is a clear sign of deep-rooted issues that you both might be avoiding.

It’s hard to face these recurring conflicts head-on. It’s easier to sweep them under the rug, promising to do better next time. But if ‘next time’ keeps coming around with the same issue, it’s time to pause and reflect.

So how can we address this?

Start by acknowledging the recurring conflict. Open a dialogue about why the issue keeps surfacing. Is it a difference in values or priorities? Is it a lack of effort from one side?

Doing this can help you understand whether these conflicts are mere bumps on the road or signs of a fundamental mismatch. By addressing these unresolved issues, you’re not just saving your relationship from future fights but also assessing its long-term viability.

4) You feel more at ease when apart

In the twilight of my failing relationship, an unexpected sign was the sense of relief I felt when we were apart.

We were away from each other… but I felt more at ease.

I noticed that I was more relaxed, and more myself when we weren’t together. The constant anxiety, the walking on eggshells, the ceaseless effort to avoid conflict, all vanished when we were apart. It was as if a weight lifted off my shoulders each time she wasn’t around.

This might seem like the need for personal space and time – a healthy aspect of any relationship. But when the absence of your partner consistently brings relief instead of longing, it’s a clear sign that the relationship is not fulfilling its purpose – providing mutual comfort and joy.

5) Your personal growth is stunted

As I analyzed my past relationship, another non-obvious sign was how it impacted my personal growth.

We were together… but I was stagnating.

I realized that instead of propelling me forward, the relationship was holding me back. My passions, ambitions, and even personal values were getting overshadowed by the constant need to cater to the relationship dynamics. I was losing myself while trying to hold onto us.

This might seem like a necessary sacrifice for love – after all, compromises are part of any relationship. But when your growth takes a backseat and you feel like you’re not evolving as an individual, it’s time to reconsider your partnership.

It’s time to acknowledge your own needs and desires. It’s okay to make compromises, but not at the cost of your own growth and happiness.

Reflect on who you are in the relationship and who you’re becoming. If there’s a disconnect there, voice it out. Encourage your partner to do the same.

By doing so, you ensure that you’re not just existing in a relationship, but growing with it. This will help you understand whether your relationship is a nurturing environment or a confining cage.

6) Shared laughter is becoming rare

In my past relationship, a sign that I initially overlooked was the diminishing laughter we shared.

We were together… but our laughter was fading.

The shared jokes, the goofy moments, the spontaneous bouts of laughter that once brightened our days became rare. Our interactions were more serious, more laden with hidden meanings or potential triggers. The light-heartedness that once marked our bond was slowly disappearing.

This might seem like a trivial matter – after all, life gets serious sometimes. But shared laughter is a strong bond in a relationship. Its absence can signal a loss of joy and compatibility in your partnership.

7) You’re constantly justifying their actions

In retrospect, one of the clearest signs my relationship was nearing its end was when I found myself constantly justifying my partner’s actions.

We were together… but I was making excuses.

I would rationalize her hurtful words as stress, her lack of effort as fatigue, or her disregard for my feelings as her own way of coping. The excuses never ended, and with each one, I was losing a part of my self-esteem and dignity.

This might seem like empathy – understanding your partner’s perspective. But when it comes at the cost of your own feelings, it’s a red flag signaling an imbalanced relationship.

Take the first step towards healing

Navigating a relationship that is showing signs of ending is one of the toughest experiences in life. I have been there, and I understand the confusion, heartache, and self-doubt that it brings.

But know that, this phase also opens up an opportunity for self-growth and self-love. It’s an invitation to reassess your values, your desires, and your worth.

I believe the “Unlock the Secrets of Self-Love” video by Rudá Iandê will be a beneficial resource for you at this juncture. This video will guide you in understanding your worth and embracing self-love in its truest sense.

In the midst of a failing relationship, we often lose sight of our own worth. This video invites you to rediscover it, understand it, and embrace it like never before. It’s a transformative journey towards self-appreciation that can profoundly impact every facet of your life.

Just so you know, in these difficult times, prioritizing your own well-being is not selfish but necessary. The journey might be challenging, but every step you take brings you closer to the love, respect, and happiness you deserve – from yourself and from others.