7 non-obvious signs that someone truly dislikes you

In the world of social interaction, blatant expressions often mean very little. Subtle cues do, though.

It’s quite evident. We’re navigating through an era of digital facades and controlled personas, thus it’s more insightful to understand people based on their subtle behaviors rather than what they openly project or intend to project.

Let’s delve deeper.

What matters even more than these cues are the implications they have. This means that blatant expressions do matter, but only insofar as they result in subtle behaviors that reveal someone’s true feelings towards you.

In this article, I’ve identified seven non-obvious signs that someone truly dislikes you.

1) They avoid eye contact

Reflect on your recent interactions. Their eyes were everywhere but on you. The gaze wanders by itself. The avoidance is done by itself. While speaking to them, you’ve noticed a few glances away by themselves.

If you’re going to understand human communication, it’s essential to acknowledge that we’re not always in control. We’re operating subconsciously.

It’s crucial to let go of the illusion of indifference that comes from believing they’re just distracted. They might not be. Their actions do, and they are most profound when they occur without conscious thought. When they act instinctively.

If you can stop attributing their lack of eye contact to shyness and start noticing patterns in their behavior, their true feelings towards you will become apparent from these non-verbal cues. You won’t need to guess anymore.

2) They are overly polite with you

This understanding came to me from exploring the dynamics of human psychology and relationships.

Guidelines on how to behave politely often emphasize “always being nice” or “keeping a friendly demeanor”. While this is commonly accepted in social contexts, it’s not always a sign of genuine warmth.

Instead, true affection comes from being comfortable enough to show a range of emotions. It comes from displaying your authentic self. As this relationship expert says:

“Observe their behavior with you. Don’t assume anything—no preconceived notions about politeness, no pre-set ideas about friendliness—just watch how they behave around you. Don’t interfere, don’t interpret, don’t judge; don’t do anything at all on your part. You just be an observer, and the magic of observation is understanding. As you observe, slowly the person’s true feelings become clear; but you are not assuming anything, you are becoming more alert, more aware.”

3) They never initiate contact

This was a tough one for me to digest.

“Being busy” came from the excuse that their time was filled with other important tasks. But the truth is that their time is what they decide to allocate, even after everything else is happening.

Let me elaborate.

Consider your communication right now. Your messages reach them by themselves. The phone rings by itself. Your emails send their content by themselves. While waiting for their response, you’ve sent a few follow-ups by yourself.

If you’re going to understand human relationships, it’s essential to accept that you’re not always the priority. They’re acting instinctively.

It’s crucial to let go of the illusion of busyness that comes from believing they’re always occupied. They’re not. Their actions do, and they are most significant when they happen without thought. When they act instinctively.

4) They are quick to end conversations

I initiated this article by focusing on overt signs of dislike.

The thing is, overt signs can also justify how we interpret people’s behavior.

In my case, I tend to get caught up in face value. I become engrossed with the observable expressions of someone’s feelings.

My interpretation is reasonable. Observable expressions are often a reliable indicator of someone’s attitude towards me.

But when I get so caught up, I can overlook the subtle signs that someone is trying to end a conversation quickly. I can lose touch with the underlying dynamics. I may become frustrated and likely not such an understanding person to be around.

If I judged their behavior solely on their overt signs, I wouldn’t question their abrupt endings.

Instead, because I don’t focus solely on the observable, I am more able to reflect on their actions and understand their true feelings. I am learning to slow down and appreciate the subtle cues in our conversations.

5) They often seem distracted

This one hit close to home for me.

I remember a friend I used to hang out with quite often. We had a good friendship, or at least that’s what I initially thought. But as time went by, I noticed something peculiar. Whenever we were together, she always seemed distracted.

Her eyes would wander around the room, she would frequently check her phone, and her responses to my stories or jokes were always delayed. It was as if she was physically present but mentally somewhere else.

At first, I brushed it off, thinking maybe she had a lot going on in her life. But this pattern persisted, and it slowly started to dawn on me – this wasn’t about her being busy, this was about her lack of interest in our interactions.

As much as it hurt to admit it, this was a clear sign that she truly didn’t enjoy my company as much as I enjoyed hers. It wasn’t easy to accept, but acknowledging it allowed me to better understand the dynamics of our relationship and manage my expectations accordingly.

6) They rarely share personal stories

The study of human behavior has consistently shown that self-disclosure is a significant factor in relationship building. We tend to share personal stories and experiences with those we feel close to, a process that deepens the bond and fosters trust.

Here’s the key point:

This observation demands us to scrutinize our conversations, to understand what they choose to share, and to note the absence of personal anecdotes or experiences.

For those feeling unsure, reflecting on their level of self-disclosure can provide a sense of clarity. It’s a reminder that we exist within a complex web of social interactions that are dictated by both spoken and unspoken rules.

7) They frequently compliment you

On the surface, this may seem like a sign of affection. After all, compliments are generally associated with positive feelings and admiration. However, an excess of praise can sometimes be a disguise for underlying disdain or indifference.

When people truly value and like you, their appreciation extends beyond mere words. It’s reflected in their actions, their willingness to invest time and effort in the relationship, and their genuine interest in your well-being.

But if someone is constantly showering you with compliments without any significant actions to back up their words, it might be a sign of insincerity. It could be their way of maintaining a friendly facade while masking their true feelings.

Bottom line: It’s all about perception

The intricacies of human behavior and interactions are often deeply intertwined with our personal perceptions.

One such connection is the relationship between our understanding of someone’s feelings towards us and a psychological concept known as attribution bias.

This bias, prevalent in many social interactions, acts as a mental shortcut in our brains, playing a crucial role in how we interpret others’ behavior.

For us, attribution bias might be a key factor in our tendency to misinterpret signs of dislike. The bias could potentially induce a sense of misunderstanding and miscommunication when we try to decipher others’ actions.

Whether it’s reading too much into an avoidant gaze, misinterpreting excessive politeness, or misconstruing a lack of initiated contact, the underlying perception might be skewing the reality.

Next time you find yourself questioning someone’s feelings towards you based on these non-obvious signs, pause for a moment. Look beyond these cues and reflect on your own biases.

You might discover that understanding others is not just about observing their actions, but also about questioning your interpretations.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

If a woman wants to be confident in her 40s and beyond, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

If you feel like you’re not moving forward in life, these 9 habits could be to blame