Never marry a man who has these 8 personality traits

There’s a vast difference between loving a man and deciding to marry him.

That difference, ladies, is largely defined by his personality traits. Falling for someone who isn’t right for you in the long run? Trust me, it’s a pitfall you want to avoid.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship guru, I’ve seen it all. And I’m here to tell you that there are certain personality traits that should have you running for the hills.

In this article, we’ll dive into eight such traits. It’s not about molding your man into perfection, but rather understanding which traits could be red flags for a future marriage.

Your forever person should bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. 

Let’s get started.

1) Lack of respect

Respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

And let’s face it, we’ve all been in situations where we’ve been with someone who just doesn’t seem to value or appreciate us as they should.

As a relationship expert, I can tell you that this is potentially one of the most destructive traits in a partner.

When a man lacks respect for you, whether it’s dismissive behavior, talking down to you, or simply ignoring your feelings and needs, it’s a sign that things could get very rocky down the line.

You deserve a partner who respects you as an equal, cherishes your individuality, and values your opinions. Anything less is just not worth settling for.

2) Emotional unavailability

Emotionally unavailable men can be charming and enticing, believe me, I’ve been there. But they often leave you feeling alone and neglected in a relationship.

If your man is emotionally distant, avoids deep conversations, or seems detached from his and your feelings, it’s a clear red flag.

An emotionally unavailable partner can leave you feeling isolated and unsupported when you need them most. It makes for a one-sided relationship where your emotional needs are often overlooked.

Remember what Maya Angelou once said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In a relationship, it’s vital to feel heard, loved, and emotionally connected. If these are missing, it may be time to rethink your future with this person.

3) Codependency

Codependency, ladies, is a tricky beast. It can start off looking like intense love and care but can soon turn into an unhealthy and damaging cycle.

If your man can’t seem to make a decision without you, leans on you excessively for emotional support, or expects you to solve all his problems, he might be codependent.

I’ve seen countless women get sucked into this whirlpool of constant need and end up feeling drained and trapped.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deep into the signs of codependency and how to break free from it.

A healthy relationship is about mutual support and independence. It’s about being there for each other without losing your individual identities. If your relationship feels more like an obligation than a partnership, it’s time to take a step back and reassess.

4) Excessive charm

Now, this might sound counterintuitive. After all, who doesn’t like a charming man? But hear me out, ladies.

Excessive charm can sometimes be a mask for deeper issues. If your man is always the life of the party, constantly impressing everyone with his charisma, but seems to lack genuine depth in intimate moments, it could be a red flag.

Charm isn’t a bad thing, but when it’s used as a smokescreen to hide real emotions or manipulate situations, it becomes problematic.

It’s important to differentiate between true charm, which comes from a place of confidence and authenticity, and superficial charm, which can be manipulative and elusive.

A genuine partner will show you their true self, warts and all, and won’t need to hide behind constant charm. Remember, authenticity is the key to a lasting relationship.

5) Lack of ambition

We all have different definitions of success and that’s perfectly okay. But a complete lack of ambition or drive can be a serious concern in a life partner.

I once dated a man who was incredibly sweet and caring, but he simply lacked any kind of ambition. He was content with just getting by and had no real goals or plans for the future. It wasn’t long before I realized that our life visions just didn’t align.

Your man doesn’t need to be a CEO or a billionaire, but he should have some kind of drive – be it for his career, personal growth, or even a hobby he’s passionate about.

A partner with ambition will not only inspire you but also provide stability and shared goals for the future. After all, a shared vision is crucial for a successful long-term relationship.

6) Inconsistent behavior

Ladies, inconsistency is not just frustrating; it’s a serious red flag.

One day he’s all over you, showering you with love and affection, and the next, he’s distant and detached. This emotional rollercoaster can leave you feeling insecure and confused about where you stand in the relationship.

Consistency is key in a relationship. It builds trust and forms a solid foundation. If your man is constantly changing his tune, it’s not just exhausting – it’s unhealthy.

A man who truly loves you will show up for you, not just when it’s convenient for him, but consistently. You deserve reliability, not a love life that feels like a suspense novel. Always remember that it’s better to be single than in an inconsistent relationship.

7) Disregard for boundaries

Boundaries are vital in a relationship. They establish what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

In my early dating years, I had a man completely disregard my personal boundaries. It took me a while to realize that this wasn’t romantic passion, but a major red flag.

If your man disrespects your boundaries, whether they’re emotional, physical, or mental, it’s a sign of a deeper issue.

As the legendary poet Maya Angelou wisely said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

A man who respects you will respect your boundaries. If he doesn’t, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.

8) Unresolved past issues

We all have a past, and that’s okay. But when a man brings unresolved issues into your relationship, it can become a ticking time bomb.

Whether it’s past relationship baggage, family drama, or personal traumas, unresolved issues can breed resentment, mistrust, and constant conflict.

A man who hasn’t dealt with his past issues can unintentionally project them onto you. This can lead to an unhealthy dynamic and a lot of heartache.

It’s crucial for both partners to heal from their pasts before they can truly commit to a future together. Remember, you’re his partner, not his therapist. It’s not your job to fix him. Your role is to love and support him while he works on himself.

Final Thoughts

Choosing your life partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. While love is a beautiful thing, it’s essential to look beyond the surface and acknowledge potential red flags.

Remember, you deserve a man who respects you, values you, and is willing to grow with you. Don’t settle for anything less.

If you’re dealing with any of the issues I mentioned above, or recognize some of these traits in your man, take a step back and evaluate. My book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship could provide some helpful insights.

Remember, the first step towards a healthier relationship is acknowledging the problem. And sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is to let go of a relationship that isn’t serving you.

Stay strong, ladies. You’ve got this.