I don’t need to tell you that dating someone is one of the biggest decisions you can possibly make.
You only get life once, and you’re choosing to spend a massive amount of time with one person.
Sure, the relationship might only last one year, but if you live to 80, that’s still 1/80th of your life. Huge.
You need to make sure that they’re worth it. Because if they’re not, not only are you wasting your precious time, but they could seriously fuck up your life.
Trust me, I know from personal experience.
So, whatever you do, make sure they don’t do these 15 things!
1) They get sketchy whenever you ask to see their phone
This is a serious warning sign. It means they’re hiding something and you can’t trust them.
2) They get all weird when you ask about their day at work or what they did on the weekend
Yes, it’s okay to do things without you, but if they won’t tell you what they’re doing when they’re without you, it has to make you wonder.
I mean, how can you trust someone who won’t be honest about what they’re doing?
3) They don’t protect you
If you’re a woman, never date a man who doesn’t protect you from the little and big things in life.
Does he make sure you’re safe when you cross a busy road? Stick up for you in a verbal argument with someone else? Or simply put his arm around you when you’re feeling vulnerable?
If he doesn’t, then he isn’t worth dating.
A man should want to do these things. Because it’s built into a man’s DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct. This term was coined by relationship psychologist James Bauer.
The kicker is that it’s actually up to women to bring this instinct to the fore. If you do want to date this guy, there are words you can use, phrases you can say, and little requests you can make to trigger his hero instinct.
James Bauer outlines exactly what to do in his free video. Here’s a link to the video again.
Some ideas in life are game changers. For relationships, I think this is one of them.
3) They tell you something, then they change their story
If they describe something about their day, and then later on, they change it up, it’s incredibly shifty.
The truth is the truth. It doesn’t change!
If you can’t trust what they say, how in the hell are you meant to trust them?
4) They put you down
Some people thrive on feeling better than others. It’s toxic.
If they call you names or they’re always on a mission to one-up you, you need to ask why they’re in this relationship.
Just to feel better about themselves? F*ck that!
You seriously need to get the hell away from someone like that.
5) They get mad when you don’t want sex
This a terrible warning sign that they see you as a sex object and nothing more.
Let’s be honest; sex is just one part of many parts to a successful relationship. If sex is their main motivation, the relationship will lack depth and you’ll eventually get hurt.
(Do you know the strangest thing men desire? And how it can make him crazy for you? Check out my new article to find out what it is).
6) They never buy you things
I don’t care if you’re a girl or a guy, you should always be on the lookout for things that your man or woman needs. It’s basic courtesy.
But if they never buy you things that you need, it means that they’re not paying attention and they’re more concerned with themselves.
Remember, a successful relationship involves two people giving and receiving and being there for each other.
7) They hate spending time with your friends and family
If they constantly bash your friends and family and show a lack of respect, it means they have no respect for you, either.
Not only is this a warning sign that they’re not really compatible with you, but in all honesty, they might be a total asshole too.
It’s negative energy that you simply don’t need in your life.
8) They hold you to double standards
A classic example of this is if they’re always happy to go out drinking with their friends, but they get mad when you do the same.
No, no matter how they spin it, it’s not okay.
9) They turn their mistakes into your mistakes
They fail at something, but somehow, you’re the one apologizing for it.
If this is the case, it’s a surefire sign that they’re manipulative and skillful at turning everything into your fault.
It’s horrible for your own self-esteem.
10) They still flirt with others
How terrible is it to go out to a public place and watch them flirt with another person right in front of you, even if it’s just the waiter/waitress?!
And if you don’t get rid of them quickly, it could cause you future pain that you won’t be able to fathom.
11) They refuse to give you a title
Here’s a hint. If you’ve been dating someone for more than three months and they refuse to call you your girlfriend or boyfriend, then they’re just not committed to you.
Nothing good can come from someone who doesn’t know what they want.
12) They like themselves more than they like you
If they hardly listen to you and prefer the sound of their voice, you need to get out.
They don’t respect your opinions or advice, and they probably think that they’re God’s gift to humankind.
They’re not, and you deserve to be valued and respected.
13) They still mention their ex
Do not miss this giant red flag! If they constantly mention an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, then they’re not over them, and they won’t be able to love you fully.
You deserve more than someone that is loving multiple people.
14) You’re not attracted to them
You’d think this one is obvious, but it isn’t.
You can love spending time with someone so much and think they’re such a nice person that it would eventually work out. But it’s a risk. If that sexual attraction never comes, the sex becomes pretty tiresome and boring.
15) You’re not a priority in their life
You deserve someone that makes room for you in their life. You don’t have to consume their life, but you need to be a big part of it.
Regardless of the circumstance, if they’re finding it hard to squeeze you in more than once or twice a week, it’s a clear warning sign that you’re not a priority.
If you’re willing to make room in your life, they should too.
Are you frustrated with dating?
Finding the right guy and building a relationship with him isn’t as easy as swiping left or right.
I’ve been in contact with countless women who start dating someone only to encounter really serious red flags.
Or they’re stuck in a relationship that’s just not working for them.
No one wants to waste their time. We just want to find the person that we’re meant to be with. We all (both women and men) want to be in a deep passionate relationship.
But how do you find the right man for you and establish a happy, satisfying relationship with him?
Maybe you need to enlist the help of a professional relationship coach…
Introducing a breakthrough new book
I’ve reviewed a lot of dating books on Hack Spirit and a new one just came to my attention. And it’s good. The Devotion System by Amy North is a welcome addition to the online world of relationship advice.
A professional relationship coach by trade, Ms. North offers up her own comprehensive advice on how to find, keep, and nurture a loving relationship to women everywhere.
Add to that actionable psychology- and science-based tips on texting, flirting, reading him, seducing him, satisfying him and more, and you have a book that will be incredibly useful to its owner.
This book will be very helpful for any woman struggling to find and keep a quality man.
In fact, I liked the book so much that I decided to write an honest, unbiased review of it.
One reason I found The Devotion System so refreshing is that Amy North is relatable for many women. She’s smart, insightful and straightforward, she tells it like it is, and she cares about her clients.
That fact is clear from the very beginning.
If you’re frustrated by continuously meeting disappointing men or by your inability to build a meaningful relationship when a good one comes along, then this book is a must-read.
You may also like reading:
- 3 ways to make a man addicted to you
- The strangest thing men desire (And how it can make him crazy for you)
- Is your man pulling away? Don’t make this one BIG mistake