What if your twin flame is married? 13 things to do about it

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So you found your twin flame. Congrats! Except, not quite, because by sheer misfortune you learn that they are already married.

It’s too late for you…or so you’d think, at least.

Before you give up and complain about the cruelty of fate, it’s important to keep in mind that the universe has its ways.

And so, here are 13 things you can do if you find that your twin flame is already married.

1) Investigate—are they really your twin flame?

Oftentimes we feel like a particular bond is formed between people we meet, but bear in mind that there is only one twin flame for you, only one other half of your split soul.

If you fixate too much on finding your twin flame or keeping your loneliness at bay, you might find yourself too quick to assume whether or not someone is indeed your twin flame.

There are signs, of course.

Strong emotions and a sense of connection are the most often quoted signs that someone is your twin flame. But sometimes, people can provoke these feelings without being your twin flame.

And when you’re desperate or lonely, you might mistake a simple connection for a much stronger twin soul bond.

So before jumping to conclusions, be 100% sure that they are who you think they are before even attempting to pursue them.

2) Look at the bright side

Twin flames are hard to find. As there can be only one for each of us, most people don’t even get to meet theirs. So for you to have met yours is already something to be very grateful for.

Besides, a true twin flame bond means that you’ll enrich each other’s lives simply by being near one another.

Marriage, while perhaps the ideal, is not strictly necessary.

As you get close, immediately the energies within you reshuffle and you have a deeper understanding of yourself because your soul has reunited with its long-lost half.

Your mere first encounter alone has already done you wonders. The beauty of it all is that you suddenly feel like you’ve found your missing piece and a sense of belongingness regardless of whether you end up together or not.

3) Examine the pros and cons of pursuing someone married

There are, of course, bound to be pros and cons to trying to pursue someone who is already taken.

Here are some things to consider.


  • You’ll live a passionate and exciting life.
  • No awkward family dinners. You don’t have in-laws to impress.
  • No financial obligations whatsoever. No need to argue about buying a new sofa.
  • It’s a good boost to your ego that they may choose you over their partner and kids from time to time.


  • You’ll be hidden from view. You can’t go around town out in the open. You have to keep everything discrete.
  • You can’t have real companionship and there’s a good chance you will never ever live together.
  • You will never be their priority, even if you are twin flames.

Will the pros outweigh the cons? Is it worth it to torment yourself? Think about it and ask yourself what truly suits you.

4) Accept the situation fully

There are just things in life we cannot win. Part of adulting is learning that you can’t always get what you want.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment that people take to be with the person they think most suited for them. It is a union recognized by all religions and recognized by all governments. It’s that important.

So trying to tackle it head-on is a very long and uphill battle. Not to mention emotionally scarring for many people involved. And when I say many, I really mean MANY.

In fact, if you were to decide to take your twin flame away from their spouse, you run the risk of ruining your bond and your next few lifetimes will have you trying to mend it. Actions do have consequences.

But if you have made your choice, then you better make sure you are resolute and fully prepared for what lies ahead.

And don’t be afraid to stop should you find yourself doubting your course. Quit with your head held high. There is no shame in walking away from it—after all, perhaps the universe is trying to tell you that you’re making a mistake.

5) Don’t forget: Twin flames don’t have to end up together

Chances are, when you are able to determine this person as your twin flame, you must have an idea of what this is all about.

It’s a very high-level connection between two people of destiny but it doesn’t have to result in a romantic relationship. In fact, it can be the best of platonic bonds.

The relationship you have with your twin flame transcends marriage.

It’s a deep and rich connection on a spiritual level. While marriage is great, twin flames who are truly confident in their bond will have no issues with settling for being good friends.

In fact, it’s quite common for twin flames to settle for other intimate partners in their lifetime on this plane. They would still hang out with their twin flames, as the best of friends, of course.

If two couples just seem to somehow “click” with each other, it’s possible that there’s a twin flame situation going on.

6) Hope for the future, but don’t take bets

The best thing about twin flames is that the bond has been created across lifetimes.

So in the odd chance that they will divorce, you can be assured that you’ll be the first in line. No matter how long it takes.

But are you really willing to waste your current life on waiting? Five, ten, or twenty years will pass by and you would suspend everything just for that single strand of hope?

It’s your life and you do what you please, but don’t throw it all away when nothing is certain.

Besides, as I have mentioned earlier in this article, you don’t necessarily need to be married to your twin flame.

7) Think carefully about expressing your feelings

I always believe in the power of communication. Say what you need to say, if only to get things off your chest and so you can sleep better.

Now that you know romance is not exactly a requirement between you two, can you honestly say it was love at all?

And if you let your feelings be known, will it make them happier, or more distraught and burdened?

Perhaps, it was a one-sided affection all along. They never saw you in a romantic light. At least you were able to tell them, and you can finally move forward with your life.

8) Understand how long-term relationships work

When you learn the basics of long-term relationships, you will see things differently and you’ll know better how to go about them.

Marriage is definitely NOT just about being in love.

Your twin flame may have kids, and therefore have other obligations and priorities like providing for their family and seeing to it that their kids grow properly into adulthood (which can take at least two decades).

At the same time, your connection with your twin flame goes beyond just a partnership but rather a destiny involving ancient roots, overcoming obstacles of mystic proportions just to find its way back to you.

Fatigue may work its way into a marriage eventually, but twin flames are but one soul.

In any case, you can be there for the other person as a pillar of support whenever they need it.

And most important of all, ask yourself if you’re willing to be married to your twin flame and do all the hard work, passion, and compatibility aside.

9) Evolve to become the best version of yourself.

Finding your twin flame has its perks. Because they are a mirror of your own self, they can make you aware of the things you would never see until now.

Just like looking at the mirror, you also see ugly parts of your soul and this can sometimes push you out of your comfort zone. This sudden awakening forces you to face the darkest sides of you and flip you inside out.

Twin flames can have these clashing yet wonderful transformative effects when you interact with each other. But this doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship for the growth to take place.

What do you really want to do with your life? Where do you really want to live? What kind of people do you really want to hang out with.

Your love for your twin flame should encourage you to go relentlessly to the direction of your dreams. Work on it.

10) Be genuine friends for now

There is a resonating harmony between you two that is intense and hugely satisfying, to say the least.

I suggest you savor this experience as a springboard to having a true best friend. Never underestimate the power of friendship. It will give your life the fun, laughter, and honesty you need that you can’t always get with a lover.

There will be no anxiety that comes with a genuine friendship.

You will not have to worry about them leaving you or cheating on you. Plus, you can really feel at ease and not be so guarded all the time.

So don’t have any ulterior motives of trying to flirt while you’re out having fun, or seducing them and trapping them with leading questions.

This will only sour your relationship especially because they’re committed to someone else. Just be comfortable and enjoy the company free of guilt.

However, if it’s impossible for you to be friends because having them this close to you is painful, then keep your distance.

11) Don’t rely on love to fill your life with happiness

True, finding the love of your life can be one of the best things to experience but it’s not a guarantee that you’ll be forever without worry.

Romantic relationships come with their own set of problems. There can be a lot of unwanted drama that will give you headaches.

But you have many meaningful friendships to fill the void.

You can have many hobbies to keep you busy. Welcome the challenge of breaking records. The fulfillment you get when you master a craft is also something else. You can focus on advancing your career and reaching your goals faster.

Let’s not forget, you can also turn to your family.

There’s nothing like a homecoming trip when you get a feeling of loneliness or nostalgia. The familiar sights and sounds of your childhood hit a different vibe of comfort.

There is more to life than being in love. The world has so many things to offer. Even then, you are already complete.

You’ve already done a good job just living thus far, so just keep going.

12) Consider pairing up with a soulmate instead

Twin flames can bring about such a drastic change in your life that it can become too turbulent and overwhelming.

Sometimes, facing your truths and demons in the form of another person is a bit much to handle and it’s only expected that most people cannot sustain this energy.

Open your heart to others where you can rest easy. Go on dates and meet other people. You might even have another fateful once-in-a-lifetime encounter.

By this I mean, your soulmate. Isn’t it great that you can have two special people in your life? Give your soulmate a chance.

The path you and this other person have may lead to a more promising future, one that is less extreme but even more rewarding.

13) Pursue them!

To every action you make there are consequences. So make sure you brace yourself for impact when you make decisions regarding your married twin flame.

Well, if there is resounding evidence that their marriage is not working out and is having harmful effects on the person, you can come to their rescue.

If you feel that you can provide them a safe haven from an existing toxic relationship, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t extend a helping hand and embrace them so that they have a place to rest their troubles.

Just know that twin flames are exactly that: flames.

If you can handle the heat, then by all means, hang on and don’t let go.

Last words

Your twin flame is a spiritual connection that can revolutionize your life and make you flourish.

It’s easy to assume that this fated bond must lead to something romantic and sexual. But if they’re married, it will just make things complicated.

You’ll feel frustrated and desperate if you can’t have them.

Let go.

Don’t obsess over the things you think you lack because you are already complete.

Don’t let this define you and cause discord just to satisfy your own view of destiny.

Focus on yourself and the beauty of your own life.

And who knows, one day, you’ll figure out how to have your twin flame by your side. Until then, it’s all about you.

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Hack Spirit! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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