8 mistakes over-thinkers usually make in relationships

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Overthinking can be a real problem in relationships.

It means you’re thinking too much about things that aren’t that big of a deal.

This can make you worried or stressed, and that’s not good for you or your partner.

It can make small issues seem like big ones and make it hard to enjoy your relationship.

In this article, we’ll talk about eight mistakes people who overthink often make in relationships.

We’ll give you some tips to stop overthinking and have a happier relationship.

Let’s get started. 

1. Assuming the Worst

Overthinkers often jump to the worst-case scenario in their heads.

If their partner is late to reply to a text or seems a little distant, they might immediately think they’re losing interest or that something is wrong with the relationship.

But in reality, there might be a simple reason for it, like being busy with work or having a bad day.

It’s important to remember that everyone has off days and not every action has a deeper meaning behind it.

Instead of assuming the worst, try to stay calm and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

Communication is key, so if you’re feeling uncertain, it’s okay to talk about it rather than spiraling into negative thoughts.

2. Overanalyzing Conversations

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head over and over again, picking apart every word your partner said and worrying if you responded the right way?

I know I have!

Overthinking can make you overanalyze every conversation you have with your partner.

You might worry that a harmless joke you made was taken the wrong way or that you said something that could be misunderstood.

In reality, most of the time, people don’t remember every single word of a conversation, and they’re not dissecting it like you are.

Remember, we’re all human, and it’s natural to have moments where we may not express ourselves perfectly.

Instead of worrying about every little thing you said, focus on the bigger picture of the relationship and the positive experiences you share with your partner.

3. Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Avoiding a difficult conversation because you’re overthinking it can actually make things worse.

When you overthink, it’s easy to imagine all the ways a serious talk could go wrong.

You might think, “What if it makes things awkward?” or “What if they get upset?”

And so, you end up avoiding the conversation altogether.

But the truth is, not addressing an issue that’s bothering you can lead to resentment and make you feel even more stressed.

The funny thing is, when you finally have the conversation, you might find out that your worries were completely unfounded.

Your partner could be understanding and supportive, and you could resolve the issue quickly.

So, even if it feels scary, don’t let overthinking stop you from having those important talks.

You might be pleasantly surprised at how well it turns out!

4. Creating Problems that Don’t Exist

Overthinkers can sometimes create problems in their minds that simply don’t exist in reality.

For example, if your partner wants to spend some time alone or with their friends, you might start thinking they’re getting bored of you or that you’re not fun to be around.

But that’s usually not the case. Everyone needs some alone time or time with their friends, and it doesn’t mean they love you any less.

In fact, having separate interests and spending time apart can make your relationship stronger and more interesting.

Remember that your partner has a life outside of the relationship, and that’s completely normal and healthy.

Instead of creating imaginary problems, enjoy your own hobbies and interests, and you’ll both come back to each other refreshed and with new stories to share.

5. Seeking Constant Reassurance

I have a friend who used to constantly ask her partner if he loved her, almost every day.

She was an overthinker and was always worried that he would fall out of love with her.

She would often seek reassurance from him that everything was okay.

At first, he was understanding, but over time, it began to put a strain on their relationship.

It’s completely normal to want reassurance in a relationship, but constantly asking for it can make your partner feel like you don’t trust them or their love for you.

Instead of seeking constant reassurance, try to build your self-confidence and trust in the relationship.

Remember, actions often speak louder than words.

If your partner shows their love through their actions, it’s a strong sign that they truly care about you.

Trust in their actions, and let their love for you be your reassurance.

6. Comparing Your Relationship to Others

With the constant influx of picture-perfect couples on social media, it’s easy to start comparing your relationship to others.

You might start wondering why you and your partner don’t go on as many fancy dates or why you don’t have as many cute photos together.

But remember, what you see on social media is just a highlight reel.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and what works for one couple might not work for another.

It’s important to focus on what makes you and your partner happy, rather than trying to fit into someone else’s idea of a perfect relationship.

Besides, true happiness and connection are often found in the little, everyday moments that you share with your partner, not in extravagant gestures or picture-perfect photos.

So, embrace what makes your relationship unique and don’t get caught up in comparing it to others.

7. Holding On to Past Mistakes

Overthinkers have a hard time letting go of past mistakes, both their own and their partner’s.

It’s like a broken record in their mind, replaying those moments again and again, even when they’ve long been resolved.

But we’re all human, and we all make mistakes.

If you or your partner did something wrong in the past, and you’ve already discussed it and made amends, then it’s time to let it go.

Holding onto past mistakes doesn’t help anyone. In fact, it only adds unnecessary tension and resentment to your relationship.

Remember, forgiveness isn’t just for your partner; it’s for you too.

By forgiving and moving on, you free yourself from the burden of carrying those past mistakes with you.

So, take a deep breath, let it go, and focus on building a stronger, healthier relationship in the present.

8. Trying to Read Their Mind

I remember once, I was dating someone who was quieter than me, and I often found myself trying to read their mind.

If they didn’t say much, I’d start overthinking and trying to interpret their thoughts based on small things like their body language or tone of voice.

I’d create whole scenarios in my head about what they might be thinking.

Turns out, they were just someone who preferred to listen more than they spoke, and my overthinking was way off base!

Overthinkers often try to read their partner’s mind instead of simply asking them how they feel or what they’re thinking.

This can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress.

Remember, you’re not a mind reader, and it’s okay not to know everything your partner is thinking.

If you’re unsure or curious about something, the best approach is to ask them directly.

Open and honest communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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