Adrian Volenik
Being in a relationship with any man is interesting, to say the least. After all, men never grow up; only their toys get bigger, right?
But if you’re “lucky” enough to be in a relationship or even marriage with an immature man, you’re in for a ride.
I mean, we all make mistakes in relationships. Still, the mistakes they make are often even more annoying and mind-boggling.
So, let’s see what these mistakes are and if there’s a way to steer these men in the right direction.
1) They fear commitment
Sometimes, being afraid of commitment comes from different things, like being scared of losing your freedom or worrying about all the grown-up stuff that comes with a serious relationship.
It can make you feel unsure about diving in fully and giving your all to the relationship.
I know I had a fear that committing would mean giving up my independence. I worried about not being able to make decisions or do things on my own.
And although there is some truth in that, there are even more things that you gain from being in a relationship. So, it’s not so black and white.
2) They resist change
Think of resistance to change like a cozy, well-worn pair of shoes. They may not be the fanciest or most stylish, but they’re comfortable, and you know exactly how they fit.
Now, imagine someone offering you a brand-new, sleek pair of shoes that look amazing, but you’re not sure if they’ll be as comfortable as your old ones.
In a relationship, this resistance to change is a lot like holding onto those old shoes. It’s driven by a fear of the unknown.
You know your current situation – the good, the bad, and the ugly. You’re used to it. You’re comfortable with it. But that new pair of shoes represents change, and change can be scary.
3) They have unrealistic expectations
Many men come with unrealistic expectations when they enter a relationship or marriage.
They expect their partner to be their everything, their go-to source for emotional support, best friend, workout buddy, entertainment, and chef, all rolled into one.
Now, while it’s wonderful to have a partner who supports you in various ways, expecting them to be your sole provider for all these needs is a bit like asking one person to play every role in a movie – it’s just not realistic (unless you’re Eddie Murphy, that is).
Mature men have friends to hang out with, activities they enjoy independently, and other outlets for their different needs.
This takes the pressure off their partner and allows the relationship to be more balanced and enjoyable for both sides.
4) They’re insecure
Insecurity often arises from a lack of self-confidence. In some cases, it results in jealousy, possessiveness, and the ongoing need for reassurance.
And what happens when you’re constantly seeking reassurance from your partner? It’s exhausting for them and for you.
Relationships work best when both people are confident in themselves and their connection.
So, it’s important to build your self-confidence from within instead of relying too much on your partner to make you feel good about yourself.
It can make your relationship a whole lot smoother and less stressful.
5) They avoid communication
Avoiding communication is one of the worst mistakes low-maturity guys make in relationships.
They’re keeping their thoughts and feelings locked up in a treasure chest they never open with their partner.
This really puts a damper on the intimacy in their relationship. Why?
Well, I imagine it’s because they’re afraid of getting hurt. They’re scared to take off their emotional armor because they’re worried their partner might hurt or reject them.
But remember, sharing is caring in relationships, and opening up can actually make your bond stronger.
6) They don’t know how to resolve conflicts
When men are immature in resolving conflicts, they’re playing a game of finger-pointing instead of having a straightforward conversation.
They avoid the real issues or give the silent treatment instead of talking it out. This often happens because they struggle to control their emotions and don’t want to admit when they’ve messed up.
So, instead of facing the problem head-on, they resort to these less effective tactics.
For example, many immature men simply don’t contribute (often enough) to chores and responsibilities around the house. This naturally leads to tension and frustration in the relationship.
7) They’re too self-centered
When someone’s too self-centered, they’re always putting themselves first. And that’s another mistake many low-maturity dudes make.
As I already mentioned, it could be because they had different expectations of the relationship. That’s why they’re more focused on what they want and need, often forgetting their partner’s feelings and wishes.
It’s kind of like they’re wearing blinders, so they struggle to see things from their partner’s point of view.
This makes the relationship feel one-sided, with fairness and give-and-take in short supply.
8) They neglect self-care
Let me ask you this: how often do you forget to charge your phone? Probably not often, right?
Well, neglecting self-care is like forgetting to recharge your own batteries. It’s when you put everyone else’s needs before your own, leaving yourself running on empty.
This can make you feel constantly tired, stressed, and even irritable, which can easily spill over into your relationship.
This is something many of us do, not only immature men.
That’s why taking time for yourself is crucial for maintaining a healthy and happy connection with your partner.
9) They’re playing mind games
You know, sometimes in relationships, you come across guys who seem to be playing these mind games. They’re not really talking to you straight. Instead, they’re doing things to mess with your emotions.
Imagine this: You’re dating someone, and instead of telling you how they feel or what’s bothering them, they drop little hints or create situations to make you guess.
They say or do things that keep you second-guessing, and it can be really frustrating.
This kind of behavior usually happens because they want to be in control. They feel like they can manipulate the situation to get what they want without being upfront. It’s a power play for them.
And then, we have this behavior:
10) Their behavior is inconsistent
Have you ever made plans with someone who always seems to change their mind at the last minute?
Well, that’s what inconsistency in a relationship looks like. They promise to do something but then conveniently forget or come up with an excuse not to follow through.
One day he’s all in, and the next day he’s distant and uninterested.
Now, picture you’re in a relationship with someone like that. It’s pretty frustrating, right?
You’re left wondering what’s going on and whether you can rely on them. You want some stability and reliability, but their inconsistency makes it feel like you’re on a rollercoaster with no seatbelt.
11) They lack empathy
Low-maturity guys also sometimes struggle with something really crucial in relationships: empathy.
Think of empathy as the ability to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, to understand and share their feelings.
Now, when someone’s not quite there in terms of maturity, they find it tough to truly get what their partner is going through.
Why? Well, it’s because they’re often so wrapped up in their own needs and feelings that they don’t leave much room for their partner’s emotions.
12) They ignore personal growth
Being in a relationship where one person seems stuck in the same spot while the other is growing and changing is terrible.
When a guy ignores his own personal growth, he’s probably not working on becoming a better version of himself.
This quickly creates a gap between him and his partner because they’re not growing together.
I see them as two plants in a pot where one’s thriving and growing, but the other stays the same size. Eventually, the thriving plant might outgrow the pot, causing an imbalance.
That’s why it’s important for both partners to keep nurturing their own personal development to keep the relationship healthy and in sync.
13) Emotional baggage
Bringing unresolved issues from past relationships into the current one complicates matters.
Here’s a great way to picture it:
You’re on a road trip, and you’ve got a bunch of heavy suitcases in your trunk. These suitcases represent all the emotional baggage you’ve picked up from your past relationships:
- The heartbreaks,
- The trust issues, and
- The unresolved problems.
Now, you’ve parked your car in a new driveway, and it’s looking promising. But here’s the catch: you decide to bring all those heavy suitcases out of the trunk and pile them up in the backseat.
What happens? Well, first of all, there’s barely any room left for you and your partner to sit comfortably. Those suitcases take up all the space, making it cramped and uncomfortable.
The same thing goes for emotional baggage in a relationship. When you carry your past issues and traumas with you into a new relationship, you’re crowding the emotional space with old problems.
Final thoughts
Maturity is a personal growth journey, and many of these mistakes can be overcome with self-awareness and some effort.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who displays low maturity, your best bet is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns.
Address specific behaviors or issues that are causing problems in the relationship.
