Men with low emotional intelligence display these 10 behaviors (without realizing it)

Emotional intelligence is a real game-changer in relationships. However, some men, unbeknownst to them, possess low emotional intelligence and it shows in their actions.

These actions, or behaviors, may seem normal to them but they might be causing unintentional harm to their relationships.

It’s important to note that these behaviors aren’t a conscious effort to cause distress. They’re simply the result of reduced emotional understanding and awareness.

The key here is recognizing these behaviors. When you know what signs to look for, you can start understanding the reasons behind them.

Let’s get started. 

1) Poor listener

Communication is a two-way street. It’s not just about expressing your thoughts and ideas, it’s also about listening to others and understanding their perspective.

Men with low emotional intelligence often lack this vital component of communication. They tend to focus solely on their own thoughts and feelings, neglecting to take into account the feelings and opinions of others.

This isn’t something they do out of malice or to intentionally dismiss others. It simply stems from their lack of emotional awareness. They may not even realize they’re doing it.

Listening is more than just hearing words. It involves understanding the emotions behind those words, something that men with low emotional intelligence often struggle with.

2) Struggles with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and it’s something men with low emotional intelligence often struggle with.

I recall a personal experience with a friend, let’s call him John, who often displayed this lack of empathy. When I was going through a tough break-up, I turned to John for support.

Instead of offering understanding or comfort, John would usually respond with something along the lines of “Well, there are plenty more fish in the sea” or “It’s not the end of the world”. He thought he was helping by offering solutions or trying to downplay my feelings, but his lack of empathy only made me feel more alone in my situation.

John was not a bad person, he just didn’t understand how to empathize with my feelings. His attempts to be supportive were genuine, but his low emotional intelligence prevented him from truly connecting with what I was going through.

3) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Emotional expression is a fundamental part of human interaction. It’s how we let others know how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and what we need.

For men with low emotional intelligence, however, expressing their own emotions can be a significant challenge. They may not understand their feelings, or they may struggle to put them into words.

In fact, research suggests that individuals with low emotional intelligence are more likely to express their emotions through physical action rather than verbal communication. This could be anything from slamming a door out of frustration to giving someone a hug when they’re happy.

This difficulty in expressing emotions can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships, as others may misinterpret these physical actions or feel ignored if the man is unable to express his feelings verbally.

4) Poor handling of criticism

We all face criticism at some point in our lives. It’s how we handle it that truly counts.

For men with low emotional intelligence, criticism can be particularly challenging to navigate. Instead of viewing it as an opportunity for growth and improvement, they may see it as a personal attack.

They often become defensive or react with anger when criticized, even if the criticism is constructive and well-intended. They struggle to separate their self-worth from the feedback they receive, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and resentment.

I’ve seen this happen in my own professional and personal life. In such instances, it’s important to remember that the reaction is not about you or your critique, but rather their struggle to process and handle the feedback.

Therefore, if you notice a man who often reacts negatively to criticism, it could be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

5) Difficulty in maintaining relationships

Relationships, whether personal or professional, require a certain level of emotional intelligence to flourish. It’s about understanding and respecting the feelings of others, communicating effectively, and dealing with conflicts in a healthy way.

Men with low emotional intelligence often find it difficult to maintain stable, satisfying relationships. They may experience frequent misunderstandings or conflicts due to their inability to empathize with others or express their own emotions effectively.

At times, they might also struggle to form deep, meaningful connections due to their lack of emotional awareness. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, further complicating their relationship dynamics.

6) Difficulty in managing stress

Life is full of ups and downs. Stressful situations are inevitable. The key lies in how we manage those situations and keep our emotions in check.

Men with low emotional intelligence tend to have a hard time managing stress. Things that might seem minor to some can become overwhelming for them. They may react impulsively, let their emotions take control, or shut down completely.

It’s like watching someone you care about being stuck in a storm without an umbrella. You can see them struggling, getting drenched, and you wish they knew how to better shield themselves from the downpour.

The struggle isn’t because they lack the strength to handle stress, but rather because they lack the emotional tools to navigate through it.

Hence, if you notice a man who often seems overwhelmed or reacts impulsively in stressful situations, he may be displaying a behavior associated with low emotional intelligence.

7) Struggles with change

Change is a constant part of life. However, adapting to change requires a certain level of emotional intelligence.

Men with low emotional intelligence often struggle with change. They find it difficult to process their feelings about the situation and hence, resist or react negatively to it.

I remember when my dad had to retire early due to health issues. He had always been a hardworking man, so this sudden change was hard on him. Instead of accepting the situation and figuring out ways to adapt, he became irritable and distant.

He wasn’t being difficult on purpose. He was simply struggling with the changes in his life and didn’t know how to process his feelings about it.

8) Overly rational

Being rational is generally considered a good trait. It helps us make informed decisions, solve problems, and navigate complex situations. But just like anything in life, too much of it can become a problem.

Men with low emotional intelligence often lean heavily on their logical thinking and may overlook or dismiss the emotional aspects of situations. They might value reason and facts so much that they fail to see the equally important emotional side of things.

For instance, they might struggle to understand why someone is upset about something that doesn’t seem “logically” worth being upset over. They might miss emotional cues and fail to offer the emotional support that others need.

9) Difficulty in recognizing others’ emotions

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding and expressing our own emotions. It’s also about being able to recognize and respond appropriately to the emotions of others.

Men with low emotional intelligence often struggle with this aspect. They might fail to notice when someone is upset, anxious, or uncomfortable unless it’s explicitly stated.

This lack of emotional awareness can lead to misunderstandings and friction in relationships. It can make others feel unheard or uncared for, even if that’s not the intention.

10) Lack of self-awareness

At the heart of emotional intelligence lies self-awareness. It’s the ability to recognize and understand our own emotions, how they affect our behavior, and how they impact others.

Men with low emotional intelligence often lack this crucial self-awareness. They may be unaware of their emotional triggers, fail to understand why they react a certain way, or not realize how their actions affect others.

This lack of self-awareness can lead to a cycle of negative behaviors and strained relationships. They may continue to display the same harmful behaviors, not realizing the need for change.